(I am a dog trainer for a large chain store. My boss calls me into the office. We’ve had some tense conversations before, so I’m already on guard.)

Me: “You called?”

Boss: “I see you’re starting a class tomorrow.”

Me: “Yeah, puppy class. I’m excited; they’re so cute!”

Boss: “You have three dogs?”

Me: “Right.” *lists ages, names, and breeds*

Boss: “You’ll have to fix that.”

Me: “Fix … what?”

Boss: “Corporate says you need four dogs to make the class profitable.”

Me: “Oh. I didn’t know there was a minimum. Is that new?”

Boss: “You need to enroll a fourth dog or call those pet parents and have them reschedule in a new class.”

Me: “Okay. I can call up some people who haven’t paid yet. But what if they don’t want to switch to another class?”

Boss: “You cannot run a class with three dogs.”

(She turned her back to me, effectively ending the conversation.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I dutifully call each customer, explaining there is a policy in place that states I must have a minimum of four dogs in a class, and that otherwise I will have to reschedule them for the next one with other dogs. Understandably, they are very unhappy that I am canceling their class. I offer a discounted rate if they’re willing to switch to a class that starts a few weeks later at a different time. One takes the deal, but the other two spend a few minutes each teaching me about good customer service and promising they will never shop with us again. A few days pass and I’m back at work.)

Boss: “[My Name], did I not tell you to transfer those pet parents?”

Me: “Yes, and one did but—“

Boss: “We had to refund $250 in classes, and we received a corporate complaint about your attitude.”

Me: “The other two didn’t want to switch, and if I can’t run a class with three, I obviously can’t run one with two.”

Boss: “I’m going to have to write you up.”

Me: “What?! Why?”

Boss: “You cost us two sales. That is simply unacceptable.”

Me: “No. I’m sorry, but no. I did what you asked. I cannot force people to rearrange their schedules.”

Boss: “Look, [My Name], don’t be difficult. I’m just doing my job.”

Me: “So was I, but now I’m in trouble for it.”

Boss: “Just sign the paper.”

Me: “No.”

Boss: “[My Name], you are being unreasonable.”

Me: “But forcing customers to change their minds is reasonable? Being told to do something I have no control over is reasonable?”

Boss: “You have a minimum number you have to reach. That’s just the way it is.”

Me: “No. No, I’m sorry. Even if you’re just doing your job, this is bulls***. I quit.”

(I walked out of that job and applied at the store next door. When they asked why I’d left my previous employer, I explained that I was put in a position where I could either pressure customers into doing something they didn’t want to do, or I would be penalized. The interviewer called my previous boss on the spot to ask for a reference. She told them that I just wouldn’t cooperate with corporate policy, so SHE decided I wasn’t a good fit for the company anymore. He laughed and hung up. I’ve been working for my new employer for six months now. According to the friends I still have at my old job, they haven’t been able to find a replacement trainer and had to refund thousands of dollars.)

(While I’m working on unloading the stock, a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Is that the only cashier you have in the whole store? There’s a line, and I’m in a hurry!”

(I look up and see that the line currently consists of two people, not including the customer herself. I head to the registers for backup, grabbing the second person in line and directing them to another register, as per policy. Eventually, I get done with him, and the customer who called me over reaches me.)

Customer: “I have a coupon, as well.”

(I ring up her items and try to take her coupon, but she keeps a vice grip on it.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you want to use it, I have to take it.”

Customer: “No, you don’t! I can use it as many times as I want!”

Me: “That’s not true. We keep the coupons.”

Customer: “Well, they let me do it before! You obviously need to learn to do your job!”

Me: “I don’t know who let you keep the coupon before, ma’am, but that’s not how this works. You use the coupon, and we keep it.”

Customer: “They let me do it before, so just do your job!”

(Whenever a customer is being unreasonable and I have a choice to stand my ground or let them have what they want, I ask myself, “Is this worth getting a complaint to corporate later?” Resolving a corporate complaint involves a lecture from our district manager, who would do anything to save a sale. It also requires calling the customer afterward to apologize and offer them something for free, even if the customer is wrong. Her coupon will save her less than five dollars, so I conclude that it’s not worth the hassle. I scan it and let her keep it.)

Customer: *smugly* “I’m going to call to complain about you!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Who’s your manager?”

Me: “I’m the manager on duty.”

Customer: *literally throws her head back to scoff loudly* “Ha! You’re a sorry excuse for a manager. You should learn how to do your job! You’re supposed to let customers keep their coupons! This isn’t [Grocery Store]!”

Me: “…?”

Customer: “My coupon is still good until [next month]! I can keep using it. Now hurry up and ring up my coupon!”

Me: “I did.”

Customer: “Well, then, do the thing you do at your register!”

(I glance at my register, spin the PIN pad around to read it, and then spin it back to show her where it reads, “Please swipe or insert your card.”)

Me: “You need to swipe or insert your card.”

Customer: “Who’s your manager?”

Me: “[Boss].”

Customer: *victorious smile* “Well, he’ll be hearing all about this!”

(She started to stomp away, nearly forgetting her receipt until she spun around, saw me holding it out to her, and snatched it out of my hands. I honestly wish I had stood my ground and made her give up the coupon, but my boss and district manager would both have wanted me to save the sale, so I know this was the correct route to avoid getting in trouble. I just don’t know why she felt compelled to fuss so much at me AFTER I gave her what she wanted! I guess threatening retail workers is the only thing that makes her feel powerful.)

(My store sells prescription pet food, but the only reason we’re allowed to sell it is that we have a veterinary facility in our building. In order to buy the food, the customer needs to get a card from our vet with a number that we ring up at our register. One day, the vets call me over to help out a customer.)

Customer: “I don’t know what kind of food I need.”

Me: “It looks like your card says you need [Prescription Food]. I’ll show you where it is. We have two kinds: the regular and the low-fat. They both treat the same problem, but the low-fat is better for overweight dogs.”

(I show her the two types and explain which is which. A few minutes later, the customer goes to the register with one of the bags.)

Customer: “Is this the food I need?”

Cashier: “Um… I’m not sure. I’m not a vet. But it looks like it’s right since it matches what’s on your card.”

(The customer purchases their food and leaves. Five minutes later, she comes back, and this time I’m covering the cashier’s break.)

Customer: “This food is the wrong color. I need to exchange it.”

(I’m annoyed that we now basically have to throw away an opened bag of $40 prescription food after I showed her both kinds, but I go ahead and start to process the exchange.)

Me: “I just need your [vet card] to finish the transaction.”

Customer: “I don’t have it. I left it at home.”

Me: “I need one to finish the transaction, so I’ll just need you to walk over to our vet over there, and they can print you out another card—“

Customer: “I don’t need the card! It’s an even exchange!”

Me: “Unfortunately, my register won’t let me process the transaction without a card. It will only take a minute for the vet to print you out another one.”

Customer: “Just override it! You guys have done it before!”

(We are technically capable of overriding the vet card, but it gets flagged every time we do; we’re only allowed to override it if the customer has proof of a prescription AND the vet’s office is closed. Not only that, but we’re only allowed to override it once per customer, and we always emphasize that they’ll need their card next time.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we aren’t allowed to sell you this food without a card. You can get another one if you just ask our vet over there.”

(The lady eventually leaves the register and goes to the vet’s office, fussing the entire time. She continues to lecture me when she comes back with a new vet card and the other type of food, insisting that she shouldn’t need a card for an “even exchange,” which it isn’t since the two foods are different and there is a dollar difference in price.)

Me: *as sweetly as I can while I give her the receipt* “Just make sure you bring your [vet card] next time!”

Customer: “I do have a card! It’s in my car— I mean, it’s at home!”

(The best part: two weeks later, she came back with her second bag of food and told us that it was the wrong kind and she needed to return it. She had no receipt. My shift was over, but since I remembered her, I went into the back with my coworker and let her know that the customer did indeed purchase the food. Thanks to my help, my coworker managed to find proof of the transaction and was able to process the return. I later found out that the customer remembered me, as well; she complained about me the entire time I was in the back, calling me “snooty” and falsely claiming that I never gave her a receipt in the first place. We processed the return and lost another $41. Thanks a lot, lady.)

(I have been a volunteer with a dog rescue for about six months, fostering dogs, helping out at adoption events, etc. Not once in that time had I met a rude customer, until this past event. Our time slot at the pet store is from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm; however, since we often get a few adoptions right at 2:00 pm, we often stay later, sometimes until 4:00 pm. By that time, we and the dogs and puppies are exhausted from meeting hundreds of people all day. This day, we start packing up around 3:30 pm, an hour and a half past our normal end time. We have half of the remaining dogs packed up and sent to their foster homes, our table is broken down and put away, and all of our paperwork and event items are out in the car. While the other volunteers are hauling some crates to the back room, I am waiting with the last few dogs to make sure a pet store customer doesn’t just come by and decide to take a free dog home with them. A man approaches with his dog and starts looking at some of our puppies.)

Customer: “Are these dogs up for adoption?”

Me: “Yes, they are; we’re just packing up for the day now.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not the right answer!”

(I am tired enough that I am not sure what he means, so I just stare at him for an awkward few seconds. He doesn’t say anything else, so I figure I’ll say SOMETHING, still having no idea what he meant by his last comment.)

Me: “Yeah, we were supposed to be done at two today.”

Customer: “Oh, so, you make it about you and not the dogs, huh!?”

(At this point, I’m so mad I can’t even respond to him. I just glare at him, hoping he’ll go away. I was in food service long enough to have learned when to keep my mouth shut, and I don’t want to give our rescue a bad reputation, so I make sure I don’t say anything I’ll regret. After another awkward ten seconds or so, he “apologizes.”)

Customer: “I don’t mean to be so hard on you; I just want to make sure the dogs have a fair chance of getting adopted.”

(I then got up and went over to talk to him, since he might be interested in adopting. We talked for probably close to ten minutes about how he wanted another dog since his was getting pretty old. He seemed really interested in the puppies, wanting his dog to meet them, etc. I don’t have a problem staying late if dogs are getting adopted. I’d stay all night if it meant all our dogs found great homes, so I happily talked to him about the rescue and the adoption process. He did not adopt a dog.)

(We have a free event where people can bring in their animals to get a picture with Santa, and the picture is emailed to them. Because every store is doing this during the same weekend, the servers are busy and the pictures take longer to get to the recipients. We tell customers to expect their photos within 24 to 48 hours. Unfortunately, due to people giving incorrect email addresses or general technological issues, some pictures don’t arrive. However, we have an app that allows us to look up their pictures using the email provided. I’m ringing on register when a lady stomps up to me.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “I came in for that Santa event, and you people never sent my picture! I have been in here four times trying to get my picture, and I’ve talked to all the managers, and nobody knows what they’re doing! I want my picture!”

Me: “I’m a manager, ma’am, and I do know what I’m doing. Let me grab an iPad to pull up your picture.”

(I go to the cabinet, get the iPad, and pull up the proper app.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what email did you give us that day?”

Customer: “I don’t have an email address.”

Me: “Well, people were required to submit their email addresses when the pictures were taken. You didn’t submit an email address?”

Customer: “I gave you my friend’s email.”

Me: “Great. What was her email?”

Customer: *gives me her friend’s name, with a last name that has multiple ways to spell it*

Me: “[First Name]. Can you spell the last name?”

(She repeats the last name. I ask if it starts with a P or an F, and she tells me it starts with a P. So, I start to spell it how I think it’ll be spelled, and she corrects me. I ask if she can just spell out the name for me, and she goes through this dramatic presentation of pulling out her phone, looking up the contact, and spelling it out for me.)

Customer: “[Friend] at dot net.”

Me: “At what dot net?”

Customer: “[Friend] at dot net.”

Me: “Ma’am, that isn’t a valid email address. There has to be something between the ‘at’ and ‘dot net.'”

Customer: “No, that’s her address.”

Me: “Ma’am, it isn’t a valid email address. It has to be Gmail or Hotmail or something.”

Customer: *annoyed* “Do you want me to call her?”

Me: “Yeah, that’d be great.”

(The customer is making a show of having to call her friend, commenting that she hopes she picks up because she’s so busy, etc.)

Customer: “Hi, [Friend], I’m at [Store] trying to get my picture, and this girl is saying your email address isn’t real…Yeah, I don’t think anybody here knows what they’re doing. Okay, so, it’s [Friend] at dot net, right? Okay.” *looks at me* “She says it’s [Friend] [number] at TT dot net.”

Me: “At ATT dot net?”

Customer: “At TT dot net! The at is that A with the circle around it. Honestly.”

Me: “Yes, I know. Is it ATT dot net or TT dot net?”

Customer: “Do you want to talk to her? You don’t seem to be understanding me.”

Me: “That’d be great.” *takes phone* “Hello, [Friend], do you have an AT&T email? You do? Great, thank you. Okay, ma’am, I just resent it to her. She should receive it in 24 to 48 hours. Probably less.”

Customer: “Now, was that so hard?”

(It SHOULDN’T have been. I hate when people have absolutely no concept of how the Internet works.)