Not How One Treats A Lady

, | Omaha, NE, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(My family volunteers for a dog rescue and foster association. Every few months they call us and we take in a dog until they find a new home. One of the ways they do this is by having little doggie parties at pet stores that support the group. One of our current fosters, Lady, is extremely skittish around adults. With kids and other dogs she is fine, but when an adult comes near her she tends to wet herself and try to run. She seems to have taken to me as I can sit next to her and hold her without her freaking out. It’s such a big step that we decide to risk taking her to one of the parties. I am allowed inside the dog cage to keep Lady calm and pick her up so some families can pet her. Everything is going great until a snooty couple comes in.)

Woman: “Ugh! What’s that smell?”

Cashier: “[Dog Rescue Group] is having an event where you can meet the dogs available for adoption. We have caged off the area where the dogs can roam so don’t worry about stepping in any accidents.”

(They grumble, but start perusing the store. One of the kids from another family comes up to me.)

Boy: “Excuse me, miss? Could I hold the black spotted one for a little bit? [Manager] said it was okay.”

Me: “Of course. Just set him back in when he starts getting restless.”

(I set Lady down so I can herd up the dog the boy wants to hold. I make sure he knows how to carry him comfortably when I notice the couple staring at the boards with all the dogs and their backstories.)

Woman: “Why are these all so tragic?”

Me: “Well, all of these dogs are up for adoption. They don’t have a permanent home yet either because their previous owners didn’t take care of them or are no longer able to. Our job is to get them new, happier homes.”

Man: “This guy’s picture looks pretty happy.”

Me: “His previous owners were in here earlier. They lost their house in a fire, and decided to give up their dog and get a new one when they became more financially stable. They were glad he still so happy. The kid over there is holding him. I’m sure he would share if you want to meet him.”

Woman: “He looks old.”

Me: “He is around ten, so he is getting up there. He is potty trained and is very docile and those are good things for people who haven’t had pets before.”

Man: “What makes you think we haven’t owned pets before?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I just haven’t seen you at any of these functions before and you didn’t seem to know how the adoption process worked. I was merely making a suggestion.”

Woman: “He likes sleeping on couches, too. Ugh! Why would anyone let a dog on furniture?”

Me: “Ma’am, he’s a dachshund. They are lap dogs. They like being around their owners and getting pet. Most dachshund owners let their dogs up on their beds and couches because that’s what they do.”

Woman: “What about this one? The Lady? She’s a dachshund and it says here she likes her cage best.”

Me: “Lady is a special case. Nothing personal, but Lady needs a family that would be willing to help finish her rehabilitation. She doesn’t take too well to people at all and is not potty trained. She’s wet herself a few times today already.”

Woman: “Let me hold her. I’m sure she’s fine. You’re just prejudiced because we asked a few questions.”

Me: “Ma’am, Lady does not like big people. She might bite you and I don’t want either of you to get hurt. Why not try one of the other dogs. They are all very sweet.”

(Another person comes up to ask to hold a dog and as I’m helping them, the man has leaned WAY over the cage and has caught Lady by her back leg. I whip around when I hear Lady barking and whimpering. He is dragging her back. Lady pees on the floor as she tries to run off and as a last resort is turning back to bite his hand. I intervene and get bitten instead and push the man away. I back up to keep Lady between the back of my legs and the other side of the cage.)

Man: “What the h***? I just wanted to see the dog.”

Me: “And I told you that she doesn’t like people. You scared her.”

Woman: “She tried to bite my husband!”

(The whole store is watching and the store manager and the head of the dog rescue society step in.)

Head: “That is enough. I watched this girl warn you about coming close to this dog. She and her family have spent weeks trying to get her to get out of her cage and play with their other dogs and you probably just erased all of that progress. She offered to show you better tempered dogs and instead you ignored her.”

Man: “That girl probably bruised my arm and that dog almost bit me.”

Head: “She was trying to keep the dog from biting you because, like a MORON, you dragged an unwilling creature with TEETH toward yourself in a very rough manner. It was self-defense.”

Man: “I want her fired.”

Head: “She’s a volunteer. She does so much work with us that I should start paying her. I’m not going to turn her away. I want both of your names. I don’t think I want either of you adopting any dog that comes into our care.”

Manager: *to me* “You all right there?”

Me: “Yeah. She didn’t break the skin, just some bruises. I think I’ll live. Lady could use a bath though. He dragged her through her pee.”

Manager: “I help you get her in the back room. We have a washing station.”

Boy: *from earlier* “I can watch the other dogs if you need me to.”

Me: “That would be awesome. Just stand in the middle of them and make sure no one tries to manhandle them too much. Pick up some poop if you’re brave enough.”

(Lady is shaking, but stays stock still as I wash her. She perks up when the manager pops in with some treats for her. I found out when I got back that the couple tried the same trick with a few other dogs and ended up getting removed from the store. The little boy who took my spot ended up being an awesome doggie guard. I resume my post and Lady starts sniffing the other dogs like nothing happened, much to my relief.)

Me: “Thanks, buddy, you’re a real lifesaver.”

Boy: “It was easy. My parents foster that brown one and I like to stay and visit the others. Is your dog okay?”

Me: “It looks like it. She’s becoming quite the trooper. She doesn’t quite know how to play and is too scared to get up on the couch with our other dogs yet.”

Boy: “She just needs a good home.”

Me: “Yep. We’re trying our best. At least she’s out of the cage and doesn’t run from her own shadow.”

(Lady still doesn’t know how to play, but LOVES to sit on the couch now. She lets anyone pet her when she’s up there and wags her tail when anyone calls her name. At the last doggie party I went to, I and my new favorite doggie guard had a good time tag teaming the cages.)

Groomed To Be An A**-Hole

| USA | Crazy Requests

(We happen to work at a store extremely close to a high school which recently experienced a tragic shooting. Traffic builds up as parents are frantically trying to retrieve their children and belongings from the school. Police restrict access for safety reasons, causing spillover to multiple neighborhoods. This call comes within an hour of the event.)

Manager: “Hello, thank you for calling [Pet Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “There’s traffic near the school.”

Manager: “We’ve heard there was a shooting there just an hour ago, sadly. A few students are injured, with at least one confirmed death. It’s likely to be congested there for a while…”

Customer: *huffing* “Well, am I going to be able to get to my grooming appointment?”

Manager: *speechless*

Turn That Arrrrr Into An Awww

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Hall of Fame, Pets & Animals

(It’s about a week before Halloween. I’m working at a pet store when a man walks in dressed like a pirate. The entire time we’re having this conversation my coworker and I are trying not to laugh.)

Customer: “I would like to look at your parrots.”

Me: “Parrots? Yeah, we have those right over there in the bird section.”

(He asks a few questions about the various birds we have on sale and eventually decides on a Sun Conure.)

Customer: “Thank you! Now the seas won’t be so lonely!”

(He came in a few days later with his new pet to buy some bird toys and to show us the tiny pirate bandana he made it.)

Stupidity Unplugged

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(The customer is purchasing an electric heating pad for the bottom of his lizard cage.)

Customer: *holding the plug* “Will this work if I don’t plug it in?”

Shouldn’t Count On A Discount

| Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

Customer: “[My Name] always gives me a deal on these.”

Me: “I’m [My Name].”

Customer: “Are you sure? Is there another [My Name]?”

Me: “No, I’m the only one. Yes, I’m sure that’s my name.”

Customer: “…So, can I get a discount?”

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