CONTENT WARNING: Animal Abuse (Prong collar use on small puppy)

I am a pet trainer at a chain pet store. Part of our policy states that you cannot use things like prong collars or choke chains in class. A man walks in with this puppy — a three-month-old golden retriever — on a prong collar. I know it is written in our class agreement that these are not allowed, so I pull him aside at the end of the class after everyone else leaves.

Me: “Hey, I noticed you’re using the prong collar. Is your dog jumping or—”

Dog Owner: “No, he just listens better with it. I was told it was okay.”

Me: “Hmm, okay, well, if you use it at home, I understand. But in class, we actually don’t allow them.”

Dog Owner: “Well, I do. The other trainer told me it was okay, so what’s your f****** problem?”

Me: “Sir, I am the only trainer.”

Dog Owner: “No, it was the other one. The guy.”

Me: “Okay. I apologize for the confusion, but we cannot have that collar on in class. It is in the enrollment agreement, which you signed. We use positive reinforcement; we want our dogs to listen because they want to, not because they fear not listening. Does that make sense?”

Dog Owner: “Fine, then. I’ll get my money back.”

Me: *Nodding* “Okay, go on over to the cashier, and I’ll let them know you’ll be getting your money back. I’m sorry this wasn’t what you were looking for. Have a nice day.”

I turn and go back to my arena and gather his paperwork. He follows me in.

Dog Owner: “So, why sell these if you can’t use them?”

Me: “You can use them on your own time, but we do not use them in class. It creates a negative association between learning and behaviors, and it is [Store] policy.”

Dog Owner: “He is nuts without it.”

Me: “I understand; puppies are often like that. But that’s what class is for.”

Dog Owner: “Can I stay, then?”

Me: “If you’d like to stay—”

Dog Owner: “And use this?”

Me: “Not in class.”

Dog Owner: “F*** you, you ugly-a** c***. I am the customer.”

Me: “Go get your money back. You are not welcome in my arena.”

I walk by him and grab a manager to oversee the refund. When it’s all done, she comes to me.

Manager: “Did you call him an a**hole?”

Me: “No.”

Manager: “Did your face say it?”

Me: “I don’t think so. Well, maybe.”

Manager: “He said you called him out in front of the whole class, called him an a**hole for using a prong collar, and kicked him out.”

I run through the conversation again, highlighting that I gave him the chance to come back without the collar.

Manager: “Okay. I’m going to have to talk to the other students. It’s not that I don’t believe you, but I do have to do my part to get all sides of the story. But from what you’ve said, they won’t have any idea what I’m talking about.”

Me: “Well, no, they won’t, because I waited so he didn’t feel like I was attacking him.”

Manager: “Okay, no sweat. I’m proud of you for upholding policy, and I’m sorry it didn’t work out for him.”

I never heard anything more about the incident, nor have I seen that customer in the store since.

I’m in line to check out at a pet store. The guy up at the register has a bag of guinea pig food or bedding or something, and between him and me is someone who looks like he looked up “Grumpy Old Man stereotypes” and used it as a checklist.

Cashier: “All right, your total is [total], we also have these ‘Guinea Dad’ and ‘Guinea Mom’ bumper stickers for just a dollar if you like!”

Guinea Pig Guy: “Ooo, yeah, I’ll take the ‘Guinea Mom’, please.”

Grumpy Old Man: *Scoffs*

Cashier: “All right, here you go, your new total is [total].”

Grumpy Old Man: “PUT IT BACK!”

Cashier & Guinea Pig Guy: “What?”

Grumpy Old Man: “He’s got a f****** beard! It’s bad enough that he’s got some [gay slur] pet like that little rat. Don’t let him act like a woman! Put that f****** thing back!“

Guinea Pig Guy: “…So, anyway, my wife, who is the one who takes care of the guinea pig, would love that sticker, yes. Also, do you guys sell baby food? Someone left their infant here and he’s crying loudly.”

The cashier made a visible effort to not burst out laughing. I made no such effort and doubled over, especially when the Grumpy Old Baby impotently banged his cart a few times and stormed out.

I work in a large pet store, and naturally, pets are welcome. While we do expect that some pets will make a mess, most owners are responsible enough to be sorry and try to clean it up themselves.

A woman and her dog approach me at the checkout counter.

Customer: “You really should clean up that mess. It’s very unhygienic.”

Me: “You mean the mess that your own dog made?”

Customer: “And? It saves me having to pick it up in the park if I know you’re all paid to do it for me.”

She just struts out with her little dog, leaving me shocked at her brazenness. My manager comes over.

Manager: “Something tells me she’s the type of pet owner who doesn’t pick up after her dog no matter where she is.”

Me: “I agree.”

Manager: “Still, what she said amounts to a confession, so she’s earned herself a ban.”

Me: “Really?”

Manager: “She thinks she can just use our store as her dog’s personal restroom? F*** that! She’s banned.”

Sadly, I was not there when she came back and was told the news, but I did hear that she did not take it well. My manager gave her a roll of poop bags on the house as a “goodbye gift”.

I work in a pet store, and you’d be amazed by the number of people who have no idea what kind of food they’ve been buying their pet for years. The smart ones bring a picture of the bag or ask us to look it up on their account, and some are content to wander the store until something looks familiar, none of which I have any problem with. But we get plenty of conversations that go a little something like this.

Me: “Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “I’m just getting my dog’s food.”

Me: “All right, dog food is down those two aisles. Is there a particular kind you’re looking for?”

Customer: “I don’t remember. It’s a green bag.”

For some reason, it’s always freaking green, which is the colour we probably have the most options in. One of our brands has EIGHT different types of food in green bags, and that’s not even counting different-sized bags of the same food. There are at least a dozen other possibilities in our other brands.

Me: “…Okay, there are quite a few options that could be. Do you remember anything else? The brand name, the protein, or whether it was grain free?”

Customer: “No, I just know it’s a green bag.”

We usually find it eventually, but sometimes not without significant frustration on both my part and the customer’s as we wander through the entire store. 

This problem was even worse during the lockdowns when customers couldn’t enter the store to “know it when they see it”, and we’d have to play twenty questions or drag various different options up to the front door to check.

I work in a pet store.

Customer: “I want all these fish!”

He gestures to a large aquarium we have on display.

Me: “That’s a lot of fish, sir. Are you sure you have an aquarium big enough for them?”

Customer: “I have a tank!”

Me: “With the equipment?”

Customer: “What equipment?! It’s just a glass box and water, ain’t it?”

Me: “Well, no, you’d need quite a bit more than that, such as an air pump, a filt—”

Customer: “Air pump?! Why do I need one of those?! Fish breathe water!”

Me: “The fish need oxygen, sir!”

Customer: “Fish don’t need air! They live in the water!”

Me: “You live in the air; I guess you don’t need water, then.”

Customer: “No… I… but…”

Me: “…”

Customer: *Storming out* “Fish breathe water!”