Not So Smart-Phone Number

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(Our store sells rats and mice for feeders. All customers who purchase them have to fill out a short sheet with their name, address, and phone number for our records. Our store reward cards can be found by entering a phone number.)

Me: “Alright, two male mice and [other item]. If you could please fill this out while I ring you up that would be great.”

(The customer stares blankly at the piece of paper.)

Me: *pushes paper closer* “We’ll just need this filled out for the mice for our files.”

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “It’s a form that has to be filled out for all animals we sell; it is company policy.”

(The customer starts to get huffy.)

Customer: “I have lived in this area for nine years, and have never had to fill one of these out before!”

(She starts to fill it out, grumpily, sighing every few seconds, and complains the entire time, saying the policy is stupid and she doesn’t understand. When she reaches the portion where it asks for a phone number should we need to call the customer about the animal, she explodes.)

Customer: “There is NO F****** WAY I am giving you guys my phone number. This is freaking ridiculous; let me talk to a manager. I have lived here NINE YEARS and have never had to fill this out. This is a retarded policy, and I am not giving you guys my phone number to have on file!”

(I call a manager up and keep trying to diffuse the situation.)

Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. You can rightly refuse for the phone number. While we wait for my manager, do you have a rewards card?”

(The customer looks up at me and prattles off her phone number. I resist face-palming at her.)

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 7
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

The Yeast Of Your Worries

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I work at a pet store/grooming salon establishment. One of the grooming dogs comes in with a suspected yeast infection. We inform the customer of the possibility, and they say they will take care of it. A week later, I’m opening the store and the customer comes back in.)

Customer: “I demand to speak to the groomer!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but she’s not here right now. She doesn’t have any groom appointments for today. Was there anything I could help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, you can explain to me why the h*** your groomer said my dog had a yeast infection, when nothing I’ve been doing to treat it has been working! I demand reimbursement for the cost of the treatment!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that ma’am, but I’m afraid we can’t reimburse you for veterinary treatment you’ve sought because of a medical condition that existed in your dog prior to the grooming appointment.”

Customer: “Veterinary treatment? I didn’t go to the vet!”

Me: “You haven’t? What treatment have you been using that needs reimbursing?”

Customer: “I’ve bought $40 worth of bread in the past week!”

Me: “…bread?”

Customer: “Yeah! The groomer said it was a f****** yeast infection, so I’ve been giving him lots of bread to fix it!”

Me: “I’m… not sure I follow ma’am.”

Customer: “What, am I not giving him enough bread? Does he need bread with more yeast in it?”

Me: “Oh… OH! Uhm, having a yeast infection doesn’t mean he needs to eat things with yeast IN it.”

Customer: “So… he doesn’t need bread?”

Me: “…no.”

(I instruct the customer to add pro-biotic yogurt to her dog’s food and take him to the vet as soon as she could. The customer leaves rather embarrassed. We get a call later on that her dog recovers soon after that, and now she’s a regular customer for yogurt dental bones!)

There Can Be Only One (Pet At A Time)

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I’m shopping for pet supplies at my local store when I overhear a conversation.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss?”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am? How can I help you?”

Customer: “My son’s gerbil just died. It was only two years old. He’s been completely miserable ever since.”

Employee: “Oh… I’m sorry about that. Did you want to look for a new pet? Our small animal section is right over here. We have hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs—”

Customer: “Yes. But I don’t see much point in getting an animal that’s just going to die in two years. Don’t you have any animals that don’t die?”

Employee: “…excuse me?”

Customer: Animals… that… don’t… die. Do you have any?”

(The employee gives her a blank look.)

Customer: “Do you have them or not?!”

Employee: “Um, I’m afraid all animals die eventually, ma’am. There’s nothing we can do about that.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll just go to [rival store], because you people have nothing but inferior products here!”

(The customer storms out of the store, leaving the bewildered associate standing there by herself. She makes eye contact with me from across the aisle, and we both start cracking up.)