She’s Not Stupid, She Just Acts Like It

| NH, USA | Right | February 24, 2015

(I am a manager and have been called up to the register by my cashier because a customer is disagreeing with a price on a cat bed. They have pre-printed prices and have just gone up in price. We have missed tearing one of the old price tags off. The beds are also on sale for $3.00 off with a rewards card.)

Customer: “This bed of a different color said it was $14.99 but it’s ringing up as $19.99.”

Me: “Of course! The price of these actually just changed. We must have missed that other one while taking the tags off. I can change that for you.”

(I go to the screen and point the numbers out to the woman as I speak.)

Me: “Okay! So, the bed is also on sale today for $3.00 off. So what I’m going to do is push the computer to change the price to $17.99 and then it will automatically take off that additional $3.00 for me, bringing the price down to that $14.99 for you today!”

Customer: “Okay, so the bed is on sale, after being $14.99? So shouldn’t the price be lower?”

Me: “The sale is for $3.00 of off the $19.99 price. So if I price match that lower price for you, it’s the lower price of the two options.”

Customer: “But the other bed said $14.99 and it’s on sale! I’ll show you!”

(At this point I try to interject as I believe her 100% and have no problem changing the price for her. She insists though and I wait patiently for her to bring the bed back to me. Meanwhile, her husband is laughing and apologizing for her. Note, she had no idea the bed was on sale previously.)

Customer: *holding the other bed out to me* “See! This says $14.99 right on the tag.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and that’s what you’re paying for the bed today.”

Customer: “But it was on sale!”

Me: *getting agitated* “Yes, ma’am, it is, off the price of the bed now. But since we forgot to remove that price tag I’m giving it to you for $14.99 instead of $16.99.”

Customer: “Okay, but if I came into the store right now and went to go get a bed, how much would I pay for it?”

Me: *exasperated* “$16.99!”

Customer: “Listen, I’m not stupid! I’m a smart person; I’m just trying to get you to understand. I need to understand. Why am I paying that much for the bed?”

Me: *literally throwing my arms in the air* “Ma’am, how much would you like to pay for the bed today!?”

Customer: “It’s not that! It’s the principle of it!”

Me: “No, Ma’am. I am not going to stand here all day and argue with you. Please, tell me how much you think you should pay for the bed and I will change it for you.”

Customer: “No, just forget it! I’m not stupid; you’re missing the point.”

Me: *sighs* “All right, Ma’am. Well, you have a great day.”

(I walked away, finding several associates in the nearby aisles, that had been listening and laughing. Apparently, after checking out, she tried to explain to my cashier how I was wrong, expressing again how she wasn’t stupid!)

Flamingoing From Bad To Worse

| Lexington, KY, USA | Right | January 19, 2015

(I am a cashier on register with no one in my line. The phone rings:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

(There is an obviously drunk woman on phone:)

Caller: “Do you sell flamingos?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t hear that. Could you say it again?”

Caller: “A flamingo! Do you sell flamingos?”

Me: “You mean the pink bird at the zoo?”

Caller: “Yes, flamingos! Do you sell flamingos?”

(At this point a customer comes up to my register.)

Me: “No ma’am; we do not sell flamingos or any other kind of exotic animal. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

Caller: “Too bad. What about giraffes?”

Me: “Tell you what. Call back when you are sober. I have a customer waiting.” *click*

Customer: “Did they seriously ask for a flamingo?”

Me: “Yep, and a giraffe. Sorry you had to wait.”

Customer: “You do know it’s rush week, right?”

(There are no less than six universities in the city. Rush week is when freshmen pledge to a sorority or fraternity and have to do challenges to get in.)

Me: “Oh, no! Thanks for the warning.”

(I let my manager know. We got ten similar calls that day, and more the rest of the week.)

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H2-Slow, Part 6

| USA | Right | January 15, 2015

(A lady comes in looking for a fish.)

Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Lady: “Well, I want to get a fish for my daughters birthday.”

Me: “Any type of fish in mind?”

Lady: *points to the betta fish* “This one is very pretty, so this one.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have a tank for it?” *points to tank*

Lady: “I don’t need a tank; I can just put him in a cup.”

Me: “Um, ma’am. You cannot just put a fish in a cup. It needs to be in a tank.”

Lady: “That’s silly; all it needs is water and a cup!”

Me: “How about food? It needs more room than just a cup. Also, it needs a filter.”

Lady: “Wait, doesn’t it eat the water?”

(I told her all the stuff she needed for the fish. Instead she got a hamster because it was much easier to take care of. I made sure to give her guidebooks and told her to call us whenever she needed help with something.)

 

(Two Can) Play At That Game

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | January 15, 2015

(This guy comes in roughly every other day, and buys one can of cat food at a time.)

Customer: “Do you have any more [Brand] cat food?”

Me: “There’s none on the shelf?”

Customer: “No, I just want the new ones.”

(I look at the delivery that just came in, and see the cans he want are on the very BOTTOM of a stack of about 15 cases.)

Me: “I am NOT moving all of those cases for one can.”

Customer: “Fine, I’ll buy four.”

(I move all the cases, causing a landslide in the process.)

Customer: “Never mind, I’ll just get two cans.”

Anything But Basic

| IL, USA | Right | December 18, 2014

(I have just finished ringing Customer #1, and wished her a good evening. I turn to Customer #2:)

Customer #2: “Hello, I need someone to get me something from back in the store.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be happy to help! What can we get you?”

Customer #2: “I need two bags of [Brand], chicken and pea for cats. It has a green stripe on the top.”

Me: “All right, are you sure about the formula? I don’t think [Brand] comes in chicken, it’s usually turkey.”

Customer #2: “Yes, I get it here all the time. It’s chicken.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

(Upon reaching the aisle with our [Brand] formulas, I find they are all either turkey & potato, or salmon & potato. Rather than automatically assume that this is the bag, since changing proteins can be rather serious for cats, I decide to go back up and confirm what she wanted.)

Me: “Ma’am, it’s as I thought… there is no [Sub-Brand] chicken and pea. It’s only turkey and salmon protein formulas.”

Customer #2: “No, I didn’t say [Sub-Brand], did I? I said [Brand]. I get it here all the time. It’s very expensive. You obviously didn’t look in the right spot or don’t know what you’re talking about. I suppose I’m going to have to go all the way back there myself to educate you on where it is, and I’m not very happy about it.”

(While she’s on her rambling fit, I page my manager to the front to assist the customer for two reasons: one, it is obvious she is going to be an issue and two, I have to ring the customers present in my line. The whole time she continues to ramble on until Customer #1, who has not yet left, interjects:)

Customer #1: “Ma’am, if you’d stop complaining for two seconds, you’d understand that he did what he could to find your food.”

Customer #2: “Then he needs to get someone–”

Customer #1: “If you were paying attention you’d hear that he already did page an associate up to assist you. Maybe if you’d shut up you’d notice that instead of moaning. I don’t work here, but you’ve gotta be polite when talking to people.”

(Around this time, my manager has arrived at the front. After the long transaction, my manager comes back up to me.)

Manager: “So… that lady has issues. I tell her we’ll find whatever it is she’s looking for if she’d just describe the bag to me. When she tells me it’s ‘[Brand]’ I automatically think of [Sub-Brand], and she yelled that it wasn’t. She then said that it was this bag of [Different Brand], which I can’t even see anyplace on the bag it says the word ‘basics.’”

Me: “Yeah, I tried to explain that, too…”

Manager: “Then she says she’s legally blind and that that would explain that… Fine. She has me check the bags over for holes, and they look good. Then, as I’m ringing her up, her savers card can’t be found, and she complains about that and how we never get it right and that she’s going to shop at the other store from now on. Then I ask her which car is hers and where she wants them in the car… She tells me ‘the red one.’ I then ask again where she wants them and she said ‘the. Red. Car!’ So I say, ‘The. Trunk? Or. The. Front. Seat?’ So, she has me toss them in the front seat…”

(Moments later…)

Manager: “So… wait… she told me she’s legally blind. What the h*** is she doing driving?!

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