icon_petsanimals

Barking Crazy

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Customer: “Hi there. I just wanted to let you know I had to throw away one of my dog’s toys that I bought here.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that! What was wrong with it?”

Customer: “Well, my dog was just OBSESSED with it. She loved it! Even after I took it away, she still wanted it! It MUST be those Chinese chemicals they put in them!”

(Pause.)

Coworker: “Is it a full moon?”

icon_petsanimals

He Shed His Brain A While Ago

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

Customer: “Do you have anything that can prevent a dog from shedding?”

Me: “Yes, we have brushes and combs for—”

Customer: “No, I mean something to stop them from shedding all together?”

Me: *confused* “Uhm. No. We don’t.”

Customer: “So, there’s not, like, a pill or something that could make a dog not shed?”

Me: “No, it’s natural for animals to shed hair. They have to—”

Customer: “So, if I went to the vet, I couldn’t get, like, a shot or something that will make them stop shedding?”

Me: “No, animals have to shed. They lose hair because—”

Customer: “So, if I invented something that would make a dog never shed, I’d be, like, rich.”

Me: “Uhmm… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Customer: “But what if I did? Then I’d be rich!”

Me: *giving up* “Yup, I guess so.”

Customer: *to his girlfriend* “Hey, babe! If I invented a shot that could make it so dogs never shed, I’d be rich!”

icon_familykids

Dying To Hold A Puppy

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I go into a pet store in a mall with my younger sister, who is probably seven. They have puppies and kittens on display.)

Sister: “Can we hold one of the puppies?”

Employee: *sizing us up, realizing we’re siblings and not parent and child* “I’m sorry, little girl, but we can only let you hold the puppies if your mom is here with you.”

Sister: “OUR MOM IS DEAD!”

(She stomped out of the store, dragging me behind her. Our mom was actually not dead and was just shopping a few stores down.)