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Unable To Register With Some Customers

| ID, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

My first day on the job, it is our grand opening. I had even helped build the store. I am standing at the register waiting for customers to arrive. For a grand opening it’s pretty slow.)

Trainer: “Okay, so the goal is to get people registered in our system, so always ask for a name, email, and phone number. It also helps them get the sales price on items. You may override the system but only in special circumstances.”

(A grumpy looking elderly man walks up to register. I already didn’t want to ask but I do because the trainer is there.)

Me: “Hello, sir, did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess so.”

Me: “Do you have a savings card with us yet?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, well, would you like to get enrolled to get the sales price?”

Customer: “So, I won’t get the sales price without it?”

Me: “No. It doesn’t take very long. It’s just a phone number, and your name and email are optional.”

Customer: “I don’t want to give my information out; do you know where all this information goes?”

Me: “Uhm… no.” *thinking maybe he is worried about theft*

Customer: “The government. They use our numbers and emails in your system to monitor and track us down.”

(At this the point the trainer is very concerned and is still trying to convince the man to sign up.)

Trainer: “Sir, I assure you, we don’t give your information out to anyone.”

Customer: “YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, BUT IT’S TRUE! THEY HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME AND THEY’RE WAITING IN A WHITE VAN TO GRAB ME!”

Trainer: *looks at me and sighs* “Just go ahead and override it.”

(This was my very FIRST customer.)

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A Thief In Wolf’s Clothing

| CO, USA | Pets & Animals

(I’ve just left a pet store with my dog, when I notice that my dog is chewing something. I check and it’s a treat bone from within the store. I take it from him and bring it back in.)

Me: “So… I kind of have to pay for this. My dog took it with him out the store.”

Clerk: “Oh, the huskie? That’s so cute. What’s the guy’s name?”

Me: “…Bandit.”

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Starved Of Useful Information

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I’m the manager at a pet store, and I’ve always had a soft spot for reptiles. My favorites are leopard geckos, so I’m always eager to give advice to customers interested in them. One day I’m bagging crickets for a customer who has leopard geckos at home, and we start a conversation about them.)

Customer: “Yeah, for some reason, their appetites increase during the summer.”

Me: “That’s normal. The warmer temperatures make them more active, so they’re going to eat more.”

Customer: “I just don’t know what’s going on. My leopard geckos always act like they’re starving!”

Me: “Oh? How often do you feed them?”

Customer: “Once a month.”

Me: *wondering if maybe I misheard and she has a snake* “What type of animal did you say you have again?”

Customer: *annoyed* “Lizard!”

Me: “But what type of lizard?”

Customer: “Gecko? Leopard gecko.”

Me: “Ma’am, leopard geckos need to eat every other day! Three times a week at the bare minimum!”

Customer: “That’s not true! More than once a month will kill them.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve had leopard geckos since I was in middle school. They’re my favorite animal in this building. You NEED to feed them more than once a month, or they WILL starve.”

Customer: *huffy and offended* “Well, I’ve had leopard geckos for years, so I know what I’m doing.”

(I later found out that she’d complained to the cashier about how rude “the cricket girl” was and had threatened to call the manager. Since I WAS the manager, a part of me wishes she had!)

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The Sad State Of Cat Food

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(A woman flags me down for some help finding cat food.)

Customer: “I want something that’s made in the U.S. Nothing from China. And it has to be high protein, high fat. No chicken. He won’t eat that s***.”

Me: “That’s great, because plenty of our cat food are made in the U.S.!” *gestures to one brand* “This one sounds perfect, and it has non-chicken proteins like salmon.”

Customer: “He told me he doesn’t like seafood.”

Me: *thinking how her cat told her this* “Well, it also comes in quail, turkey, venison, and lamb as well. Lots of different meats that don’t go anywhere near the ocean!”

Customer: “What state specifically is it made in?”

Me: “I’m not sure…” *inspecting packaging*

Customer: “Because I don’t buy from redneck states.”

Me: “This one’s made in California.”

Customer: *pause* “Well, I guess made by Mexicans is better than from a redneck state!” *slides an armful of cans into her cart and walks away*

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Lunch’s Labours Lost

| CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

Lady: “I’m here to see [Coworker #1].”

Me: “[Coworker #1] is on her lunch, unfortunately. [Coworker #2] is here, though, and he’s pretty good with fish as well.”

Lady: “I’m here to see [Coworker #1]! She said she’d be here from 10-6 today!”

Me: “She is working that shift today. She’ll be back from lunch in about 20 or 25 minutes.”

Lady: “It’s always the same story with you people!”

(And then she stormed out. I haven’t figured out what part of taking a lunch is a story yet, but apparently we should all live at work.)

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