Rabbiting On

| UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working at my till when an old lady in a wheelchair approaches me. Our rabbit hutches are situated right next to our office that keeps the safe inside.)

Customer: “Hello, dear. I was wondering if you could give me some advice about your rabbit hutches.”

Me: “Of course. Is it just for one rabbit or two?”

Customer: “Oh, it would be two.”

(I take her over to the hutches and show her around explaining the features of each one.)

Customer: “I don’t have much room in my husband’s car and I really need one for today. Do you sell them un-built?”

Me: “I can grab a flat packed one from out the back if you’d like?”

Customer: “Could you bring one out to show me so I can see if it will fit?”

(I run out to our storage area and grab a flat-packed version of the hutch she had asked for. When I bring it out her attitude has completely changed.)

Me: “Here you go. This is the one. It’s really simple to build and will only take ten minutes.”

Customer: “FOR GOD’S SAKE. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GRAB ONE GODD*** ITEM FOR ME?! DON’T BOTHER WITH IT. I’LL JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WHERE THEY DON’T TREAT THEIR CUSTOMERS LIKE S***!”

(I stand there in stunned silence as the customer quickly leaves the store, cursing frequently under her breath. Later on my manager, who ran home from work, couldn’t find his trainers which he leaves in the office. We decide to look on the CCTV to check if anyone has moved them. The video shows me walking off to get the hutch for the customer. When I leave she proceeds to get out of her wheelchair, enter the office (which has a combination lock on it), and try to open the safe. After failing to open it she grabs my manager’s trainers, shoves them in her handbag, and returns to the wheelchair.)

Manager: “Who the h*** was she?”

Me: “I think I almost sold the Devil a rabbit hutch today…”

Intelligence Is On Lockdown

| USA | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “EXCUSE ME! Are you going to check me out or am I going to have to stand around at the register all night waiting on you to finish whatever you are doing?”

Me: *thinking we had accidentally closed the store on the customer* “Ma’am, we closed 15 minutes ago. My manager has already closed all of the registers. I’m sorry, but I cannot check you out and you will have to come back in the morning.”

Customer: “Is that why the door was locked?”

Pet Owners Should Not Be Airheads

| USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(A customer comes in with her eight-year-old son. The fish are in small, plastic cups for the customers to view.)

Son: “Mommy! Look at the fishies!”

Customer: *looks at fish* “How nice.”

Son: “Can I get one?”

Customer: “Sure. Pick a fish, and let’s go.”

(They come to the counter, holding a fish.)

Son: “But, mommy, doesn’t he need a tank, and filter?”

Customer:  “No, don’t be silly. He can live in the cup.”

Son: “But he needs a filter for air!”

Customer:  “Don’t be so ridiculous. He’s a fish. He doesn’t need air. He breathes water.”

Me: “Actually, he’s right. This kind of fish needs at least a two gallon tank to live in, as well as a filter, gravel, and food.”

(The customer storms out with her son, mumbling about how we were ‘being stupid.’)