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Lunch’s Labours Lost

| CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

Lady: “I’m here to see [Coworker #1].”

Me: “[Coworker #1] is on her lunch, unfortunately. [Coworker #2] is here, though, and he’s pretty good with fish as well.”

Lady: “I’m here to see [Coworker #1]! She said she’d be here from 10-6 today!”

Me: “She is working that shift today. She’ll be back from lunch in about 20 or 25 minutes.”

Lady: “It’s always the same story with you people!”

(And then she stormed out. I haven’t figured out what part of taking a lunch is a story yet, but apparently we should all live at work.)

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Don’t Play Cat And Mouse With The Snake

| USA | Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work in a pet store that does not sell live mice for food, only as pets. There’s plenty of other pet stores around us that do sell feeder mice that we send people to if they need feeder mice. We’re strict about this but customers regularly will lie to try and get mice anyway. A customer who’s tried buying our mice for snake food before comes in, this time with a young daughter.)

Customer: “Where are your mice? I wanna buy one for my little girl.”

Me: “I’ll show you them, but this is actually for a pet, right?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s a pet. That’s what you want, right, honey?”

(The customer’s daughter nods. I start to explain their care while I open up the cage so the daughter can hold them and pick out a mouse.)

Me: “Make sure you wash your hands after holding them. We just treated for fleas.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “Well, because our area has a big flea problem all our furry animals get flea medication put on them. It’s safe, but you don’t really want it in your mouth.”

Customer: “So, uh… it’s like poison?”

Me: “Yes, but it’s safe.”

Customer: “I don’t want poison in the tank… How long does it take to wear off?”

Me: “Well, we just treated them a few days ago so about a month. I’m sorry, tank?”

Customer: “Yeah, so, I’m just gonna go somewhere else. I can’t believe you’re trying to kill my snake!”

Me: “We’ve told you before we don’t sell them for snake food. You said it was a pet.”

Customer: “Yeah, because if I told you it was for a snake you wouldn’t sell it!”

Me: “Part of why we wouldn’t sell it is because it would kill your snake.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you shouldn’t put poison on them?”

Me: “It’s not a problem when they aren’t being used for snake food.”

Customer: “But what about if people buy them for snake food?”

Me: “Then it’s their fault for lying to us.”

Customer: “But otherwise you won’t sell the d*** mouse!”

(He stormed out with his daughter.)

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It’s A Deal-Breaker

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer comes up to my register with four clearance items.)

Customer: “These were in the clearance bin; the sticker says they used to be $17 but now they’re $9.”

Me: “No problem.” *scans item and discovers they’re actually $4 and used to be $8* “Oh, turns out they’re only $4. They must’ve been labelled incorrectly.”

Customer: “Really? How much were they before?”

Me: “$8.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “Never mind, then. $4 off isn’t as good as $8. I thought I was getting a better deal.” *leaves*

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