Not Just The Puppies You Want To Shut Up

| London, England, UK | Pets & Animals

(A customer who has recently bought a puppy comes in, complaining that she isn’t getting any sleep. At this stage I’ve talked her through a number of problems offering advice at every stage. Another customer has just come in.)

Me: “So, do you go to the puppy whenever it cries?”

Customer #1: “Well, the puppy sleeps in my bedroom so it’s difficult not to; it’s my partner’s fault.”

Me: “It’s actually better for you and the puppy if the puppy sleeps in a different room. The kitchen would be a great place and you might want to think about crate training.”

(This is where the puppy sleeps in a largish cage which is useful in toilet training and helps keep the puppy safe at night and being less destructive.)

Customer #2: *interrupting* “Excuse me, but crate training is a waste of time! I never used the crate for my puppy and had to give the crate away to charity when my puppy was six months old! It’s cruel and the puppy views it as a prison!”

(She then turns away to answer the phone but poor Customer #1 is now horrified and clearly questioning everything I’ve told her in the past 15 minutes.)

Me: *trying to save the situation* “Crate training doesn’t work for everyone but it can be a useful tool in helping you train your dog! Here’s the number of a good trainer and she can help you decide if it’s the right option for you.”

(Customer #1 leaves a little happier and Customer #2 comes up to the counter to pay. She’s still on the phone but as she’s about to leave she drops this gem:)

Customer #2: “Oh, I hope I wasn’t interfering!”

Glad They Nipped That One In The Bud

| NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(A male customer comes up to me and shows me a male dog’s belly. Note that I am a rather young woman.)

Customer: “What are those bumps on his belly?”

Me: “Those are nipples.”

Customer: “But I thought you said it was a boy.”

Me: “He is a boy.”

Customer: *horrified* “So why does he have nipples?”

Me: “All mammals have nipples, sir. Don’t you?”

Customer: “I… I guess you’re right.”

(The customer turns six shades of red and walks away. This is not the first time that exact exchange has transpired.)