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I Believe In The Power Of Dog

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 29, 2018

(I work at a boarding kennel for dogs and cats. Part of the job is walking the dogs — the friendly ones, anyway — once or twice a day. I am walking a big, goofy, friendly black lab at the parking area. A middle-aged woman and a girl of about eight or nine park there and cautiously approach me.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, is the family home?”

(To this day I’m not sure if she didn’t realize that it was a business, but regardless, there is no “family,” just my boss and her husband.)

Me: “The owner is down at the office, and her husband works nights, so he’s likely asleep right now.”

Woman: “Is it all right if I leave some literature?”

(She is holding some Bible tracts.)

Me: “The kennel has a no solicitors policy, and like I said, her husband is probably sleeping and wouldn’t take kindly to being woken up.”

Woman: “Do you go to church?”

Me: “I don’t discuss religion or politics in the workplace, ma’am.”

(This is still true, to this day.)

Woman: “Can I leave these with you?”

(I’m getting annoyed. Fortunately, the lab I’m walking is very excited at the prospect of meeting new people, so he’s really tugging on the leash. The little girl looks like she wants to pet the dog, but the woman looks wary, so I use his behavior as an excuse.)

Me: “He’s getting pretty agitated… Better get back in your car! I’ll get him back to his cage!”

Woman: “Oh, my! Be careful!”

Me: “I’ll try! Have a nice day!”

(The lab and I ran back down to the kennel. I kept an eye out, just in case she tried bothering the boss’s husband, but common sense won and she just left. I don’t bother people about their religions. I might even discuss religion with someone if I was interested. But DON’T force your religion on other people. They’re not interested in handouts or being bothered while they’re working, at home, or otherwise minding their own business.)

I Feel Sorry For The Husky

, , , , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I run a pet boarding business out of my home. I provide high-end care for dogs while their owners are out of town or at work. In this area, I am in high demand, often dealing with clients that are willing to throw down a lot of cash for their dogs. One morning I receive this booking request in my email:)

Client: “Hi. My dog is a purebred Siberian Husky. She is two months old. I do not want her around any other dogs, but I will not leave her alone while I am at work every day. I will need you to watch her starting tomorrow.”

(She lists off dates and times for thirty-six days she wants her dog to stay with me while she is at work.)

Me: “Hello! She’s a beautiful dog! Unfortunately, I have other dogs booked with me every single day for the next month, so I would not be able to provide care for her without her coming into contact with other dogs, and I do not accept dogs that have not had their vaccinations. Her papers you sent me indicate that she has not yet had her vaccinations. If you need any assistance after she has received her shots, I would love to meet with you to discuss the details!”

Client: “She cannot be around other dogs. I am paying you $1,000 to make that happen.”

Me: “I do appreciate your interest in my services, but as I said, I have many other bookings, so providing solitary care for her would not be possible. I also would not be able to accept her until she has been vaccinated.”

Client: “I am not willing to pay you over $1,100.”

Me: “The issue isn’t with the money; the issue is that I have other bookings; so your dog would be around other dogs if she were to stay with me.”

Client: “Absolutely not. I am paying you $1,000 a month; she needs to be alone.”

Me: “Ma’am, every other owner that is currently booked with me has paid the same rates. I cannot cancel their bookings simply because you don’t want their dogs around yours and frankly, I cannot run a business by only watching one dog. And again, I would not even be able to consider care until you had her vaccinated.”

Client: “Then what am I even paying you for?”

(I explained my policies to her yet again and she stopped responding. I’m pretty relieved, honestly. Dealing with that attitude every day doesn’t sound worth the money.)

It’s A Dog’s Strife

, , , | Right | July 1, 2018

(I work at an animal kennel for dogs and cats. We also have a grooming service and I am one of the groomers. I receive a call at the end of my shift; I am the only one in the grooming salon at the time.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] at [Kennel]; would you like to book an appointment for your pet?”

Lady: “I’d like to book a grooming appointment for my son on Friday.”

Me: “Is 4:45 okay?”

Lady: “Whatever, sure.” *she seems to have an attitude and be in a bad mood* “My son’s name is Tyler, and he’s a very bad boy.”

(I assume she calls her dog “son,” as most clients treat their pets as their babies.)

Me: “Haha… I understand the struggle. My poodle is a bad boy, also.”

Lady: “My Tyler always talks back to me and curses at me in public.”

(I soon become confused.)

Me: “Is your Tyler a dog?”

Lady: “Haha, kind of. He acts like one. Anyway, on Friday, I’d like him to be shaved, despite him arguing.”

Me: “Ma’am, you must be confused. This is not a barbershop; it’s a pet grooming salon.”

Lady: “Yeah, whatever.”

Me: “Ma’am… we can’t cut your son’s hair. We cut pet fur and hair.”

Lady: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “Humans and animals have their hair cut differently. We also don’t shave animals, unless the owner wants, which is rare. Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we cannot cut your son’s hair.”

Lady: *grows furious* “Are you kidding me?! I f****** wasted my time with you! You’d better get fired! I want to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Sorry, my boyfriend is home, sick.”

(She hung up right after I finish my sentence. She did come in on Friday with her son and her cat.)

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Persistent Puppy Love

, , , , , | Right | June 1, 2018

(I work the front desk of a small pet day care and boarding facility. Most of the dogs who are dropped off for “dog day care” are regulars, and are pretty comfortable and used to everything. Sometimes people who have a puppy or their first dog can be more nervous, and they want to make sure their dog is okay and will call during the day to check up on their pet. This is the fourth time today that this particular woman has called to check up on her dog.)

Me: *answering phone* “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, this is [Customer] again.”

Me: “Hi, [Customer]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I am calling to check up on [Dog] again because I am a crazy dog mom!

Customers Can Be A Strange Breed

, , , , | Right | March 29, 2018

(I work at a dog kennel. I am helping my manager work the front desk when a man walks in with a large dog. We are at 100% capacity, so we know he is a walk-in. My manager goes right over to head off any tantrums that might be coming.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are completely full at the moment. If you want to put your name on the waiting list, however, we will call you as soon as there is room.”

Man: “Oh, no, I’m not looking to board my dog; I’m looking to breed him.”

Manager: *confused* “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t breed dogs here. This is a kennel.”

Man: *clearly not listening* “I want to breed my dog. He’s a purebred.”

Manager: “Sir, again, we don’t breed dogs here.”

Man: “Why not? He’s had all his shots and he’s a purebred!”

Manager: “Sir, again, we don’t breed dogs here, because these dogs do not belong to us. These dogs all belong to other people and they’d be very upset if we let your dog mate with their pet.”

Man: *sounding desperate* “You don’t understand! You could make a lot of money selling the puppies; this is a good deal!”

Manager: *totally fed up* “A good deal is not getting sued by an angry owner. Please leave; I have a line of actual customers waiting.”

(The man leaves with his dog, looking pretty dejected, but doesn’t try to argue further. Half an hour later, one of my coworkers who wasn’t there for the strange man answers the phone.)

Coworker: “Hello, this is [Kennel]. How can I help you today?”

(I can’t hear the other half of the conversation, but my coworker starts making this really confused face.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t breed dogs here.”

Manager: *furious* “Oh, my God! [Coworker], hang up the d*** phone.” *turning to me* “If he calls back again, I’m going to neuter them both!”