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Self-Deluded Dogma

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2010

Customer: “An emergency just came up. I need to board my dogs for the next week.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s December 24th and we’re completely booked for the holidays.”

Customer: “But I have to leave town. Can’t they stay with you?”

Me: “We don’t have any space for them. Our waiting list has already been notified about cancellations and they have filled those spots.”

Customer: “You just don’t understand! My dogs are very well behaved and I’m leaving town tomorrow. I’ll just drop them off in the morning.”

Me: “Please don’t do that. There is absolutely no room for your dogs here.”

Customer: “Are you asking me to cancel my trip?! Listen, young lady! I’ve been planning this vacation for three months and I will not be stopped now!”

Me: “Is this your emergency?”

Customer:: *click*


This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!

Read the next Customers Caught Lying roundup story!

Read the Customers Caught Lying roundup!

Pulling The Fur Over Your Eyes

, , , , | Right | November 12, 2009

Me: “Hello, [Pet Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I have five or six of these stray cats that keep coming in my yard. Can you come take care of them?”

Me: “No, sir, you would need animal control to help you with that. Would you like me to give you their number?”

Caller: “But they’re killing my wife’s flowers! Why can’t you just come and get them?”

Me: “Sir, we’re a boarding facility; we watch peoples’ pets for them. We don’t take strays.”

(The caller argues for the next ten minutes before finally hanging up. About two minutes later, the phone rings again.)

Me: “Hello, [Pet Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Same Caller: “Yeah, I have six cats that I need to board…”

If There Is A God, He Obviously Owns A Dog

, , , | Right | April 16, 2009

(Note: this takes place during the middle of a bad rainstorm.)

Customer: “Hi, I wanted to start bringing my dog here but I wanted to make sure that the animals get a lot of exercise.”

Me: “Oh, we just have them in rotations to run on a treadmill. You see, they help to generate power for our building. I think we have Sandy, a cute little chihuahua going right now.”

Customer: “You’re joking, right?”

Me: “Haha, yeah.”

(Moments later, my coworker comes in from the back.)

Coworker: “Hey, Sandy’s loose again. Have you seen the pop-up fence?”

(As if on cue, the storm knocks out power to the building right then and there.)

Customer: “Oh, my god! I’m calling Animal Services and reporting you all!”

Wait…You Can Do That?

, , , | Right | December 17, 2008

Customer: *marches to the front desk with her young granddaughter* “Hello, dear. Are you in charge here?”

Me: “Well, I’m in charge of the front desk. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to purchase a dog for my granddaughter.”

Me: “Er… ma’am, this is a kennel.”

Customer: “I’m aware of that! I just want to buy a dog for my granddaughter; she wants a pug.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell the animals here. We take care of dogs and cats for their owners.”

Customer: “What? You do all the work for those lazy sons of b****es?”

Me: “Um… no. The kennel takes in dogs and cats for owners when they go away for vacation or business. When they come back, they take their pets back. It’s like daycare.”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand me, boy. I told my granddaughter we were coming here to get her a dog, and you will get her a d*** dog!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but like I said before, we do not sell the dogs we keep. They are other people’s pets.”

Customer: “Goodness!” *pause* “Can I have a cat, then?”

Me: “Ma’am, does your granddaughter go to daycare?”

Customer: “Yes, but that is irrel–”

Me: “How would you like it if I went to your granddaughter’s daycare and bought her off?”

Customer: *storms off*