Thieves Are On The Periphery Of Society

, , , , , | Learning | April 22, 2018

(This story takes place in the late nineties. I have a fairly sizeable collection of novelty pencils: patterns, holographic, Lisa Frank, etc. During one class, I have three out at once for some reason, and as I’m focused on writing something, I see a classmate’s hand inching towards one of them out of the corner of my eye.)

Me: “Don’t touch my pencils.”

Classmate: *shocked* “How did you know?!”

Me: “Peripheral vision?”

Classmate: “What?”

(For the rest of the class, he kept putting his hands where he thought I wouldn’t see, and was amazed every time I did.)

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Unfiltered Story #107373

, , | Unfiltered | March 16, 2018

When I have sinus issues, I may instinctively make what I refer to as “allergy noises” – a friend of mine has compared them to a mourning dove clucking. I am in class working on an assignment when the classmate next to me turns and scowls.

Classmate: “Stop making that noise!”
Me: “What noi–oh. Sorry. I’ll try not too.”

I go back to my work, but because the noise just occurs naturally, I start up again in a few minutes.

Classmate: “KHUH! A-HKKH! NNKGH! HNKFH!”
Me: “Cut it out!”
Classmate: *bitter* “YOU’RE doing it TOO!”
Me: *snapping back* “YOU’RE doing it on PURPOSE!”

He scowled at me, but he did stop. I understand that the noise can be annoying, but making noises loud enough to distract the class isn’t the right reaction to someone who’s only (and unintentionally) bothering you.

The Grade Is Mightier Than The Sword

, , , , , , | Learning | March 9, 2018

I am an avid reader; I’ve read The Lord of the Rings at least twice a year between ages ten and fifteen.

At age twelve, my English class requires us to do book reports on a regular basis. Because I read quickly and am able to smoothly summarize the books I read, for one report I ask if I can do an entire four-book young adult series; in total, it’s still under the size of any one The Lord of the Rings book. The teacher agrees, and I write a report on each book, being sure to include a magical sword which is clearly described as being conscious in its own right.

I got a poor grade for not doing a single report, and because “swords can’t be characters.” But at least I learned that I never had to put any real effort into my future book reports.

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