Unfiltered Story #160910

, , , | Unfiltered | August 25, 2019

I am working on a fairly busy Saturday night. We make pizza and sandwiches, and each pizza and sandwich has a different cost based on what’s in or on them. There are three different sizes of about 30 different sandwiches. We also have six specialty pizzas in three different sizes, as well as make-your-own pizzas in those sizes as well. This is a call I got in the middle of the busy hour:

Me: [Restaurant name], this is [Name]. How can I help you?

Customer: Can I place an order for takeout?

Me: For sure!

I wait for the customer to tell me her order, but nothing happens.

Me: What can I get for you?

Customer: Oh! How much do your sandwiches cost?

Me: Well, it depends on what sandwich you get, as well as the size you choose.

Customer: Okay, well what comes on a sandwich?

Me: Well, our most popular items are [Sandwich] and [Sandwich]. Do either of those sound good to you?

Customer: Not really. What else do you have?

By now, it has become clear that the customer does not know what she wants.

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am. We are pretty busy right now. I can refer you to our website, where our menu has the full list of sandwiches, pizzas, and the prices for all those things.

Customer: Can’t you just tell me what you have?

Me: No ma’am, I can’t. There is a big line waiting to be helped now. However, if you take a look at our menu, you can give us a call back and we’ll get cooking for you.

Customer:…oh. Okay. *Hangs up*

I Just Can’t “People” Today

, , , , | Right | June 20, 2019

(I’m a teller. The phone rings at my station.)

Me: “[Bank] on [Street], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Account balance!”

Me: “Sure thing. I’ll just need you to confirm some information—“

Customer: “Two! Two! Option two!”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “YOU’RE NOT A COMPUTER!”

Me: “No, ma’am. I work at [Branch] on [Street]. Do you have your account number, so that I can give you a balance?”

Customer: “I don’t want to talk to you! I want to talk to the computer! TRANSFER ME TO THE COMPUTER!”

Me: “Well, our automated banking number is [number], but I can give you a balance—“

Customer: “NO! I don’t like humans!” *hangs up*

(I look around and notice several of my coworkers are giggling.)

Me: “And they say we’re too automated…”

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His Wife Is The Perfect Package

, , , , , , , | Right | November 12, 2018

(After work, I have to head to the post office to pick up a package. There is a counter at my post office specifically for people to pick up packages, registered mail, etc. I am a few customers in, and we’re waiting while the person working the counter is in the back room. She comes out, and comes up to the counter, talking to [Customer #1].)

Post Office: “I’m sorry, but like I said, we don’t have your packages.”

Customer #1: *clearly irritated* “Well, look again! I need those packages! One of them is for my son!

(The post office lady just rolls her eyes and agrees to look in the back room for what seems to be a least the third time. There are collective groans in the line, as it’s clear this has been going on for a while. The post office lady comes back a couple of minutes later.)

Post Office: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t see anything, and according to the computer, this stuff was picked up a few days ago.”

Customer #1: “That can’t be right! Hold on. I’m going to call my wife and prove it!”

(He makes a big show of taking his cell phone out, phoning his wife, and putting the call on speaker phone.)

Customer #1: “I’m here at the post office now, and she claims they don’t have either of the packages!”

Wife: “Why would they? [Customer #1], you picked those up on Friday.”

Customer #1: *long pause* “What?”

Wife: “They’ve been sitting on the counter unopened all weekend. You’re the one who signed for them and everything!”

(Turning a lovely red colour, he hung up the phone and abruptly left the line with his head down. The poor post office lady had a very weary look on her face by the time she got to me, and I could totally see why.)

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Unfiltered Story #123470

, , , | Unfiltered | October 13, 2018

I work as a manager in a popular kid’s store where children can stuff their own plush toy I got this call today from a woman i would guess in her 30’s from her voice

me: “thank you for calling [store] where best friends are made! this is {me} How may I help you?”

her: “yeah i have a complaint!”

me: “I’m sorry to hear that, I’m the manager on duty at the moment. May I ask what the problem is?”

her: “uhm yeah..” {suddenly angry} “ONE OF YOUR BEARS RAPED MY DAUGHTER!”

(mind you at this store our associates are called bears, and I can’t picture any of them doing anything like this but I’m still a bit freaked out)
me: “ma’am I assure you I take this very seriously. Can you describe the person…”

her (interrupting): NO! NOT AN EMPLOYEE ONE OF YOUR TEDDY BEARS TOUCHED MY DAUGHTERS VA-GI-NA! NOW I WANT A FREE BEAR BEFORE I SUE YOUR ASS!!!

me: *silence* ma’am I’m very sorry but if you believe there has been a sexual assault, you need to contact the police” *hangs up*

coworker: what was THAT about?

me: I’m not sure I even want to know…

Depends What Part Of The Cow You Get

, , , , | Right | September 19, 2018

(We are working the drive-thru at dinner time, at a restaurant known for soups and sandwiches.)

Order Taker: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. This is [Order Taker]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Can I get that steak and areola sandwich?”

(It took everything we had not to laugh!)

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