It’s the most wonderful time of the year and I’ve been working the layaway counter by myself, twelve hours a day, six days a week, for at least two months. I am all out of holiday cheer and professional patience.

While not serving customers, part of my job is to move layaways from the counter to large trailers sitting in the back lot. I am on my way to take my latest load to the trailer when the buzzer at the layaway desk goes off in several long buzzes. I go back in to find two women with four carts full of toys.

Me: “Hi there, sorry about your wait. How—”

Customer #1: “You napping back there?”

Me: *Taken aback* “Um, no, I was on my way out to storage.”

Customer #2: *Tsk* “Probably texting your boyfriend. Sending him—”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Obviously, we want a layaway.”

Me: “Okay. I just need your ID and a phone number.”

Customer #2: “It’s [Customer #2].”

Me: “I still need ID.”

Customer #2: “You don’t need none of that. Just put [Customer #2] and—”

Me: “No ID, no layaway.”

Customer #1: “Oh, h*** no, you did not just talk over her. You a disrespectful little b****!”

Customer #2: “You can get your boss and pray you didn’t just get yourself fired.”

Me: “Okay.”

I walk away to get a manager from the office around the corner. As soon as I’m through the “Employees Only” door, the buzzer goes off again. I turn around and poke my head out the door.

Me: “Yes?”

Customer #1: “We want the manager.”

Me: “I know, I’m—”

Customer #2: “Are you the manager?”

Me: “No, I was going to get him when you rang again.”

Customer #2: “She said get the manager!”

Me: “That’s where I’m going.”

Customer #1: “You stupid? We want your boss!”

Me: “Okay!”

I close the door and the buzzer goes off again and again. I keep walking to the manager’s office. 

Manager: “Um, [My Name], do you hear the buzzer?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. Two ladies want me to open a layaway under [Customer #2]. I told them I need an ID, so they called me a disrespectful little b**** and now they want to talk to you.”

Manager: *Heavy sigh* “I hate the holidays.”

The manager went out to talk to women, who were as sweet as candy to him. [Customer #1] gave her ID without protest and put over $700 in toys on layaway. They never came back and I had to restock their entire order.

Our store does free pictures with Santa, played by our store manager, for the two weekends before Christmas every December. We have one person “checking in” customers — taking their name, phone number, and an email to send the photos to — and one person taking the photos and verifying the info.

We don’t print photos — again, it’s free — so an email is required to receive them. 98% of our customer base has an email listed so it isn’t a problem. A woman customer approaches to have her granddaughter’s photo taken with Santa.

Me: “Of course! Let me just get your contact info here.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “We email the photos and—”

Customer: “No, I want it printed.

Me: “Um, we don’t have a color printer in the store; it’s only black ink. We email them out and then you can print or do whatever you’d like with them.”

Customer: “I don’t want it in black and white. Who wants a black and white Santa photo?

Me: “Right. That’s why we don’t print them. If you don’t have an email, you can use someone else’s.”

Customer: *Huffs* “Fine.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Uh… what email did you want to use?”

Customer: “I have to pick one?! This is a total ripoff! You don’t print them, you ‘need’ my info… I’m about to take my business elsewhere!”

Me: “Ma’am, these photos are free. If you have a family member with an email address, that’s okay.”

Customer: “No!” *To Santa* “Get your creepy hands off my grandbaby! We’re leaving!”

The woman grabbed the child and stood in front of me for a moment, presumably expecting me to cave and magically change the way corporate set up the event. I turn the iPad we’ve been using as a camera to show her photos of her granddaughter smiling, standing beside Santa.

Me: “So, you don’t want these photos?”

Customer: “Do you not speak English? I said no!”

Me: “Okay.” *Deletes the photos* “Have a nice day!”

The woman stormed out and we crossed off her info, making sure to note that she repeatedly said she didn’t want her photos. Sure enough, a few days later, there is a complaint at the corporate office; the woman complained that her pictures were never sent and she demanded compensation.

My coworker, manager, and I all told corporate our side. They thanked us and said they would handle it. The next time she came to the store, the store manager gave her a $25 gift card for her troubles.

It is September.

Patron: “I’m here to pick up an Architectural Digest magazine I put on hold.”

She accidentally put two of the same copy on hold, so I hold them up and ask if she wants both.

Patron: “Oh, yes, I’d like both. Actually, what month are they?”

Me: “December of last year.”

Patron: “Oh, no. I need December this year.”

Me: “But… it… December hasn’t happened yet.”

The patron gives me a blank look.

Me: “It’s September…”

Patron: “Yes, and I need the December one.”

Me: “Uh…”

Patron: *Realizing* “OH, MY GOSH! December hasn’t happened yet!”

Me: “I thought you might be a time traveler!”

We both had a good laugh about that one!

I’m helping a lady at the register and we are wrapping up her sale. I hand her the change and she looks in both directions.

Customer: “I’ll just put this in the drawers.”

She stuffs the money down her bra.

Customer: “I keep my phone on the other side.”

I was totally blank for a minute.

I work at the front desk for a small specialty food distributor. Since I’m located there, I’m essentially the receptionist, but my main responsibilities are more in accounting. I still have the joy of answering the phones for our main line if someone doesn’t know what extension to use. This happens on a day where we are down to two sales reps.

Customer: “Hi, this is customer [number]. I need to place my order, but my sales rep isn’t answering the phone. Can you find her?”

I look him up and see that his sales rep actually just quit a week ago.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but [Sales Rep] no longer works here. I can direct you to your new rep, but he is currently on the phone with another customer. You’ll have to leave him a message and he can get back to you soon.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! I have been trying to get a hold of [Sales Rep] for an hour! Someone should be able to talk to me now!”

Me: “I do apologize, but we only have two reps available today, and they are both on the phone. I know that they have been trying to keep up with all the calls that they have, but as today’s order deadline is soon, they are getting a lot of calls. If you leave him a message, I will go back and let him know to call you as soon as he is done.”

Customer: “Fine!”

I transfer him and let the sales rep know that he called. Not five minutes later, my phone rings and it’s the same customer.

Customer: “He still hasn’t called me back!”

Me: “I’m really sorry; he’s still on the phone with another customer getting their order. I promise he is going to call you as soon as he’s done.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You’re telling me that no one can take my order? You can’t?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no, I’m not in sales, so I can’t put an order in. If you’re in a hurry, you can email him your order to put in.”

Customer: “I’ve never had to email an order before! I always call at three and [Sales Rep] would always take my order right away! This is terrible service!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry. All I can offer is that if this happens again and you’re on a time crunch, maybe you can call the main line right away so I can transfer you to whatever rep is available. But I do see that your new rep just hung up his phone; I’ll transfer you.”

I hit the transfer button and hung up before he could say anything else to me. I get calls like this almost every day. Customers wait until the last second and refuse to understand that the sales reps are busy and may take a minute to get back to them. Why get mad at me because you waited until the last minute and now have to wait a little bit?