We started doing a Secret Santa at my house a few Christmases ago with a $50-75 limit. My brother’s wife even made a Facebook event page where we could give ideas about what we wanted.

Come Christmas Day, my other brother spent a whole whopping $18 on a bottle of alcohol for my sister. 

To make things even worse, he got our dad and my mom nothing. 

He also had Christmas at his mom’s house, got her nothing, and b****ed because he didn’t get an expensive chainsaw and only got a $75 gift card that he left there out of spite.

Yeah, he’s got the Christmas spirit.

I am cleaning the store on Christmas Eve and the two managers are running around trying to figure out where a burning smell is coming from. They find a guy burning the incense we sell in the store. I don’t know what they say to him when they find him, but the bell rings and I hop on a register to manage the line.

A guy and his girlfriend come through my line with over an $80 total and the manager tells me to ring them up for an extra stick of incense, which is only 20 cents. The guy gets angry, yelling, “I’m not spending another dime! If I wanna light things on fire in the store, that’s my prerogative!”

My manager has to explain that since he used up the stick of incense he has to pay for it, just like people who eat candy in the store still have to pay for it. Their total comes to over $80 and his girlfriend, who looks super embarrassed already, is $10 short and he makes her start going through their bag looking for stuff to take out. She looks like she is about to cry before he finally gives her the $10. As they are leaving, he threatens to go back to shopping at a competitor, to which my manager’s response is, “Good!”

I have a large extended family with many aunts, uncles, and cousins. Back in the mid- to late 1980s, when I am in my early twenties, we have large family gatherings around Christmastime. It usually takes place in a relative’s home. One particular year, my aunt moves into a condominium building. The condo building has a public room available for use and she reserves it for our gathering. Since Christmas is approaching, the condo association has decorated the room with a lovely Christmas tree.

As part of our traditions, we have a “grab bag.” Each relative attending brings a gift with a twenty-dollar limit on it. During the gathering, we draw numbers from a hat. There are around forty to forty-five of us participating. The relative who has number one chooses a gift and opens it. The person with number two does the same, but if they like gift number one better, they can exchange it. This continues until the lucky last person opens their gift and then has the choice of exchanging with any of the previously opened gifts. It makes for a lot of fun, as there is usually one gift that becomes a favorite and is chosen and then lost by many participants.

On the day of the condo gathering, we start the grab bag. Several of my relatives open their gifts after choosing one from what is under the tree. It comes to my cousin’s turn. She opens her gift and looks disappointed.

Cousin: “My box is empty.”

Me: *Chuckling* “Nice gag, someone. No problem, [Cousin]. Go ahead and exchange with someone who has already opened their gift.”

She does, and we go on with the grab bag. Several more empty boxes make their appearance, and I begin to get a bit annoyed. One empty box is funny. Four or five just does not seem fair.

In the middle of the process, the condo association president stops by to check on our gathering.

President: “How is it going? Are you having fun? Do you have all the supplies and utensils that you need? There are more in the back closet if you need them.”

Aunt: “Everything is just fine, thanks. We are only having an issue with our grab bag. It seems as though several people have decided it would be funny to give empty boxes instead of an actual gift.”

President: “That’s a shame.” *Pauses* “Wait, where are you getting your gifts from?”

Aunt: “Everyone put them under the tree as they arrived. That’s where we are choosing from.”

President: *Laughing* “Let me explain. We wrapped some empty boxes to put under the tree as decorations. I think that’s what you have been opening!”

We all had a good laugh. Sure enough, by the time we got to the end of the grab bag, there was one gift for every relative!

I’ve been Christmas shopping at a mall for several hours, and then I find out that my winter scarf has fallen off somewhere. I backtrack as well as I’m able, but I realize that it may take some time for it to resurface, and perhaps I’m better off coming back tomorrow. The next day, I come back and check in with one or two of the stores I was in, and then I decide to try the mall information booth.

Me: “Hi. I was here shopping yesterday and I lost a scarf. Could you check your lost and found?”

Mall Information Guy: *Unhelpfully* “No, nobody’s turned anything in.”

There’s a pause.

Me: “Um, okay. Well, I had to drive over half an hour to get here. Could you at least look, please?”

[Mall Information Guy] reluctantly pulled out a bin, and oh, look! Lo and behold, there sat my scarf, right on top. How lazy do you have to be to not even check the lost and found when someone asks? Unless he was hoping nobody claimed it and wanted to keep it for himself?

It’s two days before Christmas and I’m in line at a game store in a strip mall. I need to get three gift cards: two for sisters, and one for another friend. This takes me nearly half an hour due to both customers and employees. For starters, the store is staffed by only two employees. There are two people in line ahead of me.

Customer #1: “Do you have a copy of Plants vs. Zombies 2?”

Mind you, you can download this game for free.

Employee #1: *Checks inventory* “Looks like we have one left.”

The employee checks the rack and notices that it’s not there.

Employee #1: “Is anyone here holding Plants vs. Zombies 2?”

Customer #2: “Yes, I am.”

Employee #1: “These people would like to buy it.”

Customer #2: “I’ve been holding it in my hand since before they came in the store; they just got in line before I did.”

Employee #2: “I’ll call around and see if any of our other stores have it.”

Customer #1: “I should be able to buy that copy; I was in line first.”

This goes on for a bit while [Employee #2] calls around. Meanwhile, [Employee #1] goes through the process of — slowly — ringing up [Customer #2]’s purchases. I am next in line throughout all of this.

Employee #2: “Looks like our store twenty minutes away has it; I’ve asked them to hold it for you.”

Customer #1: “You have been very rude to me! I can’t believe you would sell that game to her when I was clearly in line first.”

Customer #2: “I was here before you; I just got out of line to get more things.”

Customer #1: “IF YOU GET OUT OF LINE YOU LOSE YOUR RIGHT TO PURCHASE ANYTHING!” *Leaves in a huff*

[Employee #1] then motions me up, and I request three $10 gift cards.

Employee #1: “Looks like the only gift cards we have say, ‘Happy Birthday,’ on them.”

Me: “Seriously? These are for Christmas! I don’t even need Christmas themes; just the standard black gift cards you carry all year will do!”

Employee #1: “Let me check.”

In the end, he managed to find two non-“Happy Birthday” gift cards. I feel bad for that employee, working with people who think it’s okay to start customer feuds, dealing with idiot customers, and working in a store run by a manager who doesn’t know how to staff properly or manage basic inventory items.