Unfiltered Story #89000

, , , | Unfiltered | June 2, 2017

I worked in a large retail store that also had a busy auto section selling auto parts aling with service for tires, oil changes, etc. Due yo an unusual set of circumstances, I was the only person in the entire department which was against policy because I would have to cover the register as well as service cars. Also, because if safety reasons, I can not go into the pit to drain oil wihout another worker in the bay. I am explaining this to two different angry and impatient customers while ringing out a third. Another asks me to show him where something is while a an older gentleman waits patiently. I finally get to the gentleman and apologize for the wait.

Customer: That’s okay. You are busy. How long until a technician can look at my tire?

Me: I am a technician. (Keep in mind I am in a technician uniform and covered in grease) I can look at it right now.

Me: (a few mintues later). I found the screw in your tire. Unfortunetly, it is too close to your sidewall. A patch will not hold. You need a new tire. We do installations for free.

Customer: (looks at me suspiciously because I am female). So what can you recommend for a (truck)?

I show him several tires that would fit and discuss the pros and cons of each. During this, I excused myself to ring out two more customers and write up a service order for another while explaining the delay. The customer chooses a tire. Unfortunetly, we have none in stock but we have a display model on a very tall riser. He agrees to buy it. I get out a tall heavy ladder and as I am hauling it over, another angry customer who had been waiting in the bay comes charging over yelling. I calm him down and start to climb the ladder.

Customer: No wait. Let me get that.

Me: Sir, I apreciate it, but I can’t let you for safety reasons.

Customer: But you are a girl and I am a guy. I really should get that. It’s too heavy for you.

Me: Sir, I trained ex-racehorses and lifted sacks of grain over 100 pounds. This probably weighs 40. Can you lift 100 pounds? (Customer looks sheepish). And no disrepect intended at all, but you ate at least twice my age. If someone has to fall off a ladder, I will heal a lot quicker. But I sincerely apreciate the offer.

I got the tire down without incident. I pulled the old tire off, mounted the new tire and balanced it for free. During this I was writing up more orders ans ringing out more people until my co-worker arrived. A few weeks later, the district manager of the entire store visited. I was called into the office. The managers played like I had done something horribly wring until they presented me with a 3 page letter this guy wrote about me. He glowed about my patience and knowledge of tires and yelled at the store for making me work in such conditions. The district manager put a commendation in my file (which almost guarantees the top raise next review and it did) and gave me a share of company stock gor a reward.

Will Just Coupon And On And On And…

, , , | Right | June 1, 2017

(A major retailer is going out of business at the mall where I work, and a private liquidator company is taking care of the sales. Because of this, they’re not accepting any sales in ads, and they’re not taking any coupons. I work at a well-known chain bookstore not that far away from the closing store.)

Customer: *comes up to my cash register with her books*

Me: “Did you find everything okay today?” *finishes ringing while we exchange the usual retail pleasantries*

Customer: “I have this coupon as well.” *hands me a coupon from [Major Retailer] for 50% off a single item*

Me: “Ma’am, I’d love to accept that, but it’s for [Major Retailer].”

Customer: “Well, when I went to use it there, the lady told me I could use it at any other store but there.”

Me: “Ma’am, I think she meant any [Major Retailer] that isn’t going out of business.”

Customer: *obviously confused* “But she said any other store. Can I use it or not?”

Me: *just not feeling it* “Unfortunately, since your items are already on sale, I’m afraid I can’t use your coupon.”

Customer: *sighs and stuffs her coupon back in her purse, pays, and leaves*

(I just know she went to the next store on her list and tried to use that coupon again.)

Making No Concessions For Your Stupid

, , , | Right | May 30, 2017

(I’m working the concession stand at our movie theater. We have a display of candy. A man who appears to be in his mid-40s, who has just purchased a ticket, walks up to the display, takes about $30 worth of candy, smiles at me, then simply walks away.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. Did you pay for those already?”

(The customer turns, dumbfounded, and presents me his ticket receipt. I look at it.)

Me: “Sir, this is a receipt for a ticket.”

Customer: “Yeah. No duh! The guy who sold me this said I could get candy from you.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I can sell you candy here, but you actually have to pay for the candy. It’s not free.”

Customer: *immediately becoming irate* “You’re f****** kidding me, right?! He said you’d give me candy!”

(I turn to my coworker selling tickets nearby and signal him over.)

Me: “Hey, the customer is saying that you implied he could get candy for free?”

Coworker: “No, I didn’t. I told him he could buy candy from you at concession!”

Customer: *screaming* “Yeah, exactly! You didn’t tell me I had to pay! You f****** lied to me!”

Coworker: “I said he could sell you candy. That implies you’d pay for the candy.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t!”

Coworker: “The word ‘sell’ implies that you’d pay him for the candy.”

Customer: “NO… IT… DOESN’T! I want this for free because you NEVER said I’d have to pay for it!”

Me: “Sir, the candy is all clearly priced. Nowhere is there anything that implies you can have it for free.”

Customer: “Fine!”

(He throws the candy onto the counter in front of me and storms off.)

Me: “I’ve never seen anything quite like that.”

Coworker: “Oh, that happens about once a week here, usually on weekends.”

Me: “You’re kidding?!”

 

Coworker: “Sadly not.”

Roped Into That One

, , , | Romantic | May 26, 2017

(One of our cats has gotten sick, so we’ve taken her to the vet. After the exam, they take her off to give her a couple of shots. Left alone, I start fiddling with various things in the exam room, one of which is a length of rope with a loop in it, probably used to attach to leashes. I slip one end of the rope through the loop and let it drop to my crotch, and am about to say, “Look, honey…I’m hung like a horse.” Instead…)

Fiancée: “You’re going to need a much smaller rope.”

Me: *throwing the rope aside* “Shut up. I hate you.”

Makeout Sessions Leave You Tapped Out

, , , | Romantic | May 25, 2017

(My boyfriend and I are spending the night together, and we’ve started making out.)

Boyfriend: *in between kisses* “Come on, show me what you can do.”

Me: “I can tap dance.”

Boyfriend: “No, in bed.”

Me: “Well, I’ve never tried tap dancing in bed, but I can give it a shot.”

Boyfriend: *bursts out laughing* “I was hoping you were going to take it in that direction!”

(After six years, I guess he would know what my sense of humor is like.)

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