I’m a cashier. It is five minutes before my shift ends, and, as is protocol since I’m a minor, my monitor comes and puts the chain up that indicates my lane is closed and I turn my light out. I thought I had gotten everybody in the line checked out, but this old lady seems to think differently.

I am getting ready to leave.

Old Lady: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Oh, hi! Can I help you?”

Old Lady: “You can check me out!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Old Lady: “I was in this line; I was just talking to the people in the other line! Let me through!”

She was right about that, somewhat. She had moved into the other line so much to talk that neither I nor my monitor saw her.

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am, but I can’t help you now. My lane is closed and—”

Old Lady: “No! Cash me out!”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot cash you out, I apologize. Our other cashiers—”

Old Lady: “I was in this line!”

She tries to push her cart under my chain and duck under it. At this point, she’s scaring me, so I page for my manager. This happens while I’m waiting.

Me: “Ma’am! I physically cannot help you! I am closed.”

Old Lady: *Gives me a disgusted look* “You will! I was just over there talking to them!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

At this point, my monitor comes over, only to see this:

Me: “One of our other cashiers will be able to help you tonight.”

Old Lady: “NO EXCUSES!” *Storms off*

Monitor: “…”

Me: “…”

Monitor: “Listen. Don’t worry about it. If that’s the worst that’s happened to her today, she’s got it pretty good.”

Me: *Wheezes* “Thanks.”

Monitor: “Yeah, sure. Just call me over earlier next time. I’ll really give her something to worry about!”

My monitor meant it as a joke, and it worked. I felt better for the rest of the night. I haven’t seen the crazy lady since.

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 16
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 15
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 14
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 13
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 12

A student comes up with his books to purchase for the first day of classes. I’ve had a million of these transactions today. But when I process his order, his credit card is declined.

Me: “I’m sorry, your card is declined. Let’s run it again to be sure.”

I do so and it is declined again.

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s still being declined.”

Student: “Run it again.”

Me: “I’ve run it twice.”

Student: “Run it again.”

I run the card again, and what do you know? It’s still declined.

Me: “It’s still coming up declined. Do you have another card?”

Student: “It’s not my card. It has to be your computer. Run it again.”

Me: “I can’t keep running the card; it’s been declined three times.”

Student: “It has to be your system.”

Me: “I’ve been running cards all day; it is not our system.”

Student: “Then you need to call someone.”

Me: “There is no one I can call. It’s not our system. There is something going on with your card. A hold, perhaps. You need to call the company.”

Student: “So, you call the company.”

Me: “It’s not my card. I can’t call the company; that’s your responsibility.”

Student: “I just used the card last night!”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. It is not working now.”

Student: “Run it again!”

At this point, a large line of pretty annoyed students is piling up. I decide to try to run the card as a manual, to see if by some miracle that will work. It does not, not that I am surprised.

Me: “Your card is still being declined. There is nothing more I can do. You need to contact the company to find out what is going on with your card.”

I hand him back his card and start gathering his books so I can put them back.

Student: “What are you doing?!”

Me: “I’m going to put your books aside so they can be returned to the shelf.”

Student: “You mean I can’t take them?”

Me: “No. You didn’t pay for them.”

Student: “But I tried! I should be able to take them.”

Me: “I cannot let you walk out of this store with these books if they are not paid for. I would be fired.”

Student: “But I tried!”

He finally gave up and I got to deal with the long line that had filled in while dealing with him. He finally came back several hours later. Turned out the company had put a hold on his card because he had purchased something out of state. Guess it wasn’t our system after all.

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 99
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 98
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 97
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 96
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 95

I work for a national roadside/insurance/travel company. My primary job is to sign older drivers up for a “Safety Driving Class” that covers general safety tips for older drivers. One-hundred percent of this is done over the phone; the classes are not regularly scheduled, so I often have to call folks back when we have a class available.

This caller is an older woman.

Caller: “Hi. I’m calling for a friend who needs her license updated and I need my photo ID updated. Can we do that at your office?”

Me: “That needs to be done at the DMV, as [Company] cannot issue state-regulated items.”

Caller: *Silence* “Oh. What’s the DMV?”

Me: “The Department of Motor Vehicles, where they issue licenses and photo IDs. They also handle car registration, among other things. I can give you the number for one close to you, if you’d like.”

Caller: “I’m pretty sure I’ve never been there. I think you’re lying to me. I’m going to go to the [Company] branch office and tell them how you’re lying to me about this ‘Department of Automobiles.'”

This morning, due to a software update, our registers are extra laggy. An elderly gentleman approaches with two boxes of band-aids. The usual pleasantries are exchanged. 

Me: “That will be $6.50.”

The customer hands me a twenty-dollar bill. I hit the cash option and flinch inside when I see the hour-glass of impending doom.

Me: “Sorry, the register is being a bit slow this morning.”

Customer: *Humorous* “Huh? It doesn’t want my money. Guess it’s free, then, right?”

I laugh politely. A minute passes and the register crashes.

Me: *Cringing inside* “Oh… looks like it crashed. I’m so sorry. Let me try checking you out in a different lane.”

Customer: “I’m telling you, it should be free. I should just go and walk out the door.”

I attempt to check him out again on another register, which freezes just like the first one did before it crashed.

Me: *Shrinking inside* “So sorry. I don’t know what’s with these registers this morning…”

The customer turns to the lady behind him.

Customer: “They’re giving out free stuff today! The registers don’t want our money! Ha!”

The lady makes a half-hearted laugh, and then gathers her things and makes a hasty retreat to self-checkout.

Customer: “You sure you can’t give it to me for free?”

I give him an uneasy smile. The humor has definitely worn off.

Me: “I wish I could, but I’d get fired.”

Customer: “Now, let me tell you something. You should never worry about getting fired. There is always another job out there that pays more.”

I am poking the register, silently praying for it to work.

Me: “Mmm-hmmm…”

Customer: “Back when I started out, I made $10,000 a year. Then they fired me for acting up, and two days later, I got another job that paid $30,000. Then, I left that job because the company went out of business and I got another job that paid $100,000 a year.”

I am thinking to myself how all my attempts to get a job with my degree over the last decade have failed due to my very bad eyesight, how I got my first job with dumb luck, and how it took me months to finally get this current job.

Me: “Uh-huh…”

Customer: “And now I’m seventy years old and just don’t care!”

I want to put my fist through the register screen. Instead, I flag down my boss. I explain the situation and she attempts to get the previous register up and running.

Customer: “It’s like I was telling her, I should just get this for free.”

Boss: *Taking the items* “Let me see what I can do here.”

Customer: “You know, I got paid $50 an hour… Does that mean I owe you like $8?”

My boss mutters out of earshot and then gestures me over quietly.

Boss: “You know, I’m just going to requisition this. Just give him these and send him on his way.”

It takes a second to process this in shock as, after all this fuss, I really wanted his $6 on principle. After a second, I slide his cash and the items back to him.

Me: “Here you go. You can just have these…”

Customer: “Wait? Really? You are giving it to me for free? Man, I should have got more stuff! Please, please can I go get more stuff?”

Boss: “No, I can’t let you get more. But you can take those items and go.”

Customer: “Well, great!”

He walks away.

I am staring dumbfounded after him, feeling flustered and slighted. I give my boss a questioning look.

Boss: “That was not worth the $6.”

That guy is likely at home entertaining his grandkids with the story of how he got free stuff, not realizing he also made a cashier want to crawl out of her skin in the process.

I’m a stocker at a local supermarket. Today, I’m in the dairy department. I’ve just finished working the dairy load and I’m in the process of pulling the aisle forward when a customer comes up to me.

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any more [Brand] fat-free vanilla caramel creamer in the back?”

Not only do we not carry the variety that she’s looking for, but it doesn’t even exist.

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but [Brand] does not make a fat-free vanilla caramel creamer.”

Customer: “I know you sell it! I’ve bought it here before. I keep coming back and you never have it!”

Me: “[Brand] only makes vanilla caramel creamer in regular. You might have bought that previously, instead, and we have plenty on the shelf.”

Customer: “No! I want the fat-free [Brand] vanilla caramel!”

Me: “Again, we don’t carry it because it doesn’t exist. I guarantee you there’s not going to be any there.”

Customer: “Ugh, you’re so lazy! Stop wasting my time and go check for me!”

I give up and go to the back just to satisfy her. Surprise, surprise, we don’t have any of the creamer she wants.

Me: “Ma’am, I just checked, and I can confirm that there is absolutely no [Brand] fat-free caramel creamer.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine, I believe you. Now, can you tell me when your next order of [Brand] fat-free vanilla caramel creamer will come in?”

Cue internal facepalm. Such is the life of retail.