I’m at a chicken restaurant. A lady a couple of tables down from mine places her baby up on the table, obviously about to change their diaper right there on the tabletop. An employee quickly hurries up before the lady can actually get started.

Employee: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask that you do that in the bathroom.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s fine. We’re all done eating.”

Employee: *Sounding really strained* “Yes, but people will be using the table after you.”

At that, the woman gave the employee a glare, scooped up her kid, and stomped off, I guess toward the restroom. Meanwhile, her group at the table looked shocked, like they’d never considered the idea that other people would be using the table after they were done with it.

I am a relatively new hire at my current job, which I enjoy. The store in which I am working is very large and sells home decor items, wall art, garden items, and some furniture. However, the building in which it is located was previously, for many years, a very different store which sold a lot of things.

I’m getting used to being asked for things that our store doesn’t sell but which the old store did, because even after over a year, people are still not cottoning on to the fact that we are not that store.

These are all questions I have legitimately been asked.

Customer #1: “Do you sell DVDs?”

Customer #2: “Where is the appliance section?”

Customer #3: “Do y’all have switchblades?”

Customer #4: “Where are your pajamas?”

It took everything in me not to answer, “In my dresser.” And then there was this woman:

Customer: “Here’s my card.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a rewards card for the supermarket.”

Customer: “What? Well, where am I?”

I am working a late shift as a cashier when a trio of students from a local university, judging by their sweatshirts, come into my lane pushing a cart full of what is probably all the personal lubricant we had on the shelves.

Student #1: “Do you think this is enough to make a slip-n-slide indoors?”

Me: “Uh…”

Student #2: “Eh, don’t worry, [Student #1]. We have until Saturday. We’ll figure it out by then.”

They came in a few times after that, but most of their purchases were perfectly normal things. I wish I had asked them if it was enough.

Related:
This Cannot End Well

This story is part of our Customer Situations That Will NOT End Well roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Terrifying Stories About Employees Who Need Hazard Pay

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My friend, her eleven-year-old daughter, and I go to a local village today for their Scarecrow Festival, a tradition that we’ve been enjoying for about seven years. Before getting started, we go to one of the restaurants for lunch.We didn’t go last year due to the weather.

We arrive a little after 11:00 and are seated right away. The waitress brings our menus and takes our drink orders. When she returns:

Me: “I’ll take chicken salad on a croissant with American cheese and mayo on the side, please.”

Friend: “I’d like roast beef with horseradish sauce and a bowl of French onion soup.”

Daughter: “I’d like a house salad with ranch dressing and chicken fingers.”

The waitress leaves and comes back a few minutes later.

Waitress: “Where did you see roast beef?”

Friend: “On the menu.”

It turns out that they have new menus they started today, and the one my friend ordered from was the old menu. [Friend] changes her order to a crab cake sandwich. No problem.

The food comes out and my friend’s daughter tries her salad.

Daughter: “This isn’t ranch dressing.”

[Friend] and I try it and we both agree politely that it’s not, and we request the correct dressing. When the waitress brings out new dressing, she has an attitude.

Waitress: “Try this one.”

The ranch is right this time. I politely remind her about my mayonnaise, which she has forgotten.

For the next forty minutes, our waitress ignores us. She doesn’t check to see if everything is okay and doesn’t see if we would like refills. I never get my mayonnaise. She serves the tables around us since it’s gotten busier now. But she walks right by us and looks right at us but ignores us. We’re finished eating but she doesn’t even come back to take our dirty plates. My friend and I are both getting pissed, but she’s keeping it together because her daughter is with us.

Finally, after we’ve been there an hour, the waitress FINALLY comes back to our table and asks if we’d like anything else. We say no and that we just want the check, and she leaves. Five minutes later:

Waitress: “Hey, I just wanted to double-check. You didn’t need anything else, right?”

Us: “No.”

Ten minutes after she first asked us, she brought our check out, and then we had to wait another five minutes or so before she took the card to run it and then finally came back with the receipt. She got a $2.99 tip on a $60+ check.

We didn’t blame her for the first two things; they were out of her control. But the attitude and the fact that she ignored us for most of our lunch is inexcusable.

At my medical office, we sometimes loan out glucose meters to new diabetic patients. They come with all the supplies and an instruction sheet, and I’m always careful to point out the “Error Messages” section: a series of codes that indicate problems like low battery, not enough specimen on the strip, etc. They then call in after the first few days of checking.

A patient calls in to report her blood sugar numbers.

Patient: “The first morning, when I woke up, it was 103.”

Me: “Okay, that sounds okay.”

Patient: “And then, after breakfast, it was 103.”

Me: “Huh, okay.”

Patient: “And then, after lunch, it was 103.”

Me: “Ma’am, were all your blood sugars 103?”

Patient: “Yes! I thought that was kind of odd, but that’s what it said.”

Me: “Can you turn the monitor on? Does it still say the same thing?”

Patient: “Yes, that’s all it’s ever said.”

Me: “Can you rotate it so it’s upside down?”

Patient: “Ohhhhhh, could it be E01? I wondered why the [Brand] was upside down!”

After a new battery, all was well.