Unfiltered Story #98058

, , | Unfiltered | October 12, 2017

(In my shop class, we work in groups of three and the tables are covered in canvas so nothing gets on the table.)

Me: “Can you get a drill, [Friend #1]?”

Friend #1: “Sure.” *she walks across the room*

Me: “Okay, we need to drill this part over here.”

Friend #1: “I wonder if we drilled sideways on the canvas, would the drill get stuck?”

Me: “Um, go ahead.”

([Friend #1] drills sideways and gets the drill stick in the canvas. Our teacher is coming our way so [Friend #1] yanks it out, but there is now a big rip in the canvas.)

Me: *in between laughs* “Hi [Teacher]!”

Friend #2: “What happened?”

Me: *I explain the story*

Friend #2: “You wouldn’t get a drill stuck in the canvas (sticks the drilll sideways and the.ln gets it so stuck she can’t pull it out)

Me: (teacher) is walking over run!!!!

Friend #1: (runs across the room with me) phew

Teacher to friend 2: did you do that on purpose

Friend #2: no of course not

(Teacher proceeds to yank the drill out of the canvas while me and friend 1 can’t stop laughing)

Me: well that was eventful

An Electronic Alarm

, , , , | Learning | October 10, 2017

(One of our classmates stupidly answers his phone in class. The sub tries to take it from him and is forced to call security, as per protocol, when he refuses to hand it over. He then refuses to hand it to security, instead trying to pick a fight and play the tough guy act in an attempt at intimidating the guard. The school has a policy where if someone refuses to hand over something, they search everyone in the room, regardless if they were involved or just bystanders, and take away all found electronics. The believed intent is to punish the student making trouble by punishing everyone and making them all hate said student, which is horrible on several accounts. The guard takes the student, and we’re left with the horrified-looking sub who was apparently unaware of this policy.)

Substitute Teacher: “Wait… So, if one student misbehaves they punish everyone?”

Classmate #1: “I got searched three times this year alone because a classmate refused to hand over something. My iPod was taken and they won’t let me have it back until the end of the school year, and now I’m going to lose my brother’s Nintendo DS that he lent me since I have a long ride home today.”

Me: “I have my mom’s cellphone in my bag right now for emergencies!”

(Note: Mine was stolen from my locker a week previously, so my mom lent me hers until mine could be replaced, and told me not to put it in my locker.)

Me: “If they take it, she can’t get it back until June!”

Substitute Teacher: “But that’s not fair at all! None of you have even done anything wrong!”

Classmate #2: “That’s how they do things. They also have a policy where if someone breaks into your locker and takes your cellphone, like they did to [My Name], it’s your fault for having a phone on school property, regardless if it was turned off and out of sight. They won’t do anything about it, but a teacher left her cellphone on a bathroom sink and it was stolen, so they gave everyone on the floor a pat down until they found it, and then suspended the girl for stealing a teacher’s property.”

Substitute Teacher: “How long do you think until they get back here to search you guys?”

Classmate #3: “They could be here any minute, actually.”

(She then puts on a serious face and reaches under the desk, retrieving a handbag large enough to impress Mary Poppins, and opens it on the desk.)

Substitute Teacher: “Everyone, quick! Get out your electronics and hide them all in here before security gets back!”

(There was a huge rush to the front of the room as everyone dropped our stuff inside and then quickly sat back down. Security showed up less than a minute later, and seemed surprised to only find a single broken iPod that a classmate didn’t feel was worth protecting. Unfortunately, despite the glowing reviews and praises we all gave our teacher about the sub the next day, we never saw her as a sub in the school again. We think she might have refused to work here again after learning how they treat us.)

Has Certain Memories PINNED

, , , , , | Related | October 9, 2017

(My mom takes me out for a morning of errands with her, and is trying to figure out what order to do things in.)

Mom: “We need groceries, and you wanted a new notebook, and your dad asked if I could check on the price of sand for him… but I’ll have to go to the ATM first, and there’s always a line this time of day.”

Me: “I could go to the ATM for you, and meet you at the grocery store.”

Mom: “That’s sweet, honey, but to use the ATM you’d have to know my–”

Me: *recites my mother’s four-digit PIN code*

Mom: “How did you know that?!”

Me: “By watching you enter it every couple weeks since I was five?”

Mom: *hands me ATM card* “Get $300.”

Not Bowing To Beer Pressure

, , , , | Right | October 5, 2017

(A man and a little girl walk into our store. They come in all the time, so I recognize the man as the best friend of the little girl’s father, but this is the first time I’ve seen them in there without him. They seem a little clueless so I go to help.)

Me: “Is there anything I can do for you, sir?”

Customer: “Maybe. I don’t drink, so I can never remember brand names. Do you by any chance know what kind of beer we usually get when we come in here?”

Little Girl: “Don’t tell him! That way we can’t get it and my daddy won’t poison himself!”

(The man starts laughing and I’m trying to keep a straight face.)

Customer: “Fair enough. We’ll just take a case of the worst beer you have and a case of [Soda]. If he doesn’t like it, I’ll just tell him it’s the universe’s sign he should buy his own beer or quit drinking.”

Not In Receipt Of The Correct Answer

, , , , | Right | October 4, 2017

(I work as a cashier, and have a particularly rude customer in my line.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt with you or in the bag?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “I asked you a question with more than one answer: with you or in the bag?”

Customer: “I said YES!”

Me: “Okay, but I asked a question that doesn’t require a yes or no; it requires an actual choice.”

Customer: “Oh, my God! Just give me the d*** receipt!”

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