How To Whaize Stupid Children

, , , , , | Right | August 15, 2018

Customer: “Where can I find ‘wazzzzher blades’?”

Me: “Can you please repeat the item?”

Customer: “YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE ‘WAZZZZHER BLADES’ ARE? You’re f****** useless. You shouldn’t work at a hardware store.”

(Later, he came up to ring out with razor blades.)

Customer:Here. For future reference, this is a ‘wazzzzher blade.’”

Me: “You mean a razor blade?”

Customer: “In my family, we say, ‘wazzzzher.’ Don’t f****** correct me.”

Unfiltered Story #118219

, , | Unfiltered | August 15, 2018

(I am a shopping at Target with my boyfriend, I’m 20 and him 21, helping him pick out jeans when a girl who looks about 15 years of age comes up to us, she is wearing red hipster sunglasses and a red One Direction t-shirt)
Girl: “Hello, mind if I tell you guys something?”
Me:*curios* “Go ahead!”
(suddenly What Makes You Beautiful starts playing from somewhere)
Girl:*sings us the whole song with dance moves and everything*
Girl:*after the song is finished* I really meant what I said, you are very pretty and your friend is quite handsome, stay you and don’t change” *walk away smiling*
Boyfriend:”That was interesting but it made my day”
Me: “Yea that was very sweet.”
(a couple minutes later We see her, singing to someone to an old couple, then the manager walks up)
Manager: “Exuse me miss, please turn off your music and exit the store, you are disrupting the customers.”
Girl:” Oh did you receive a complaint?”
Manager: “No but I think you are being annoying and pestering our customers. This is obviously a YouTube stunt, and I don’t appreciate it.”
Girl:” The only thing hidden here is my amp *gestures to her Beats Pill on a shelf*, I have no cameras, I just believe the world should smile a little more often and cry a little less, so I make people smile by singing to them, which will hopefully prevent them from crying for a bit”
Manager:*shocked* Well I’m sure these costumers did not enjoy it* gestures to older couple*
Older Woman:”I loved it, she made my day”
Boyfriend: “She made mine as well”
Older Man: “Who is that band, I like their music and would like to hear more”
Girl:” That was One Direction, I can show you to their new album in the music section. That was one of their old songs however I can play their new ones for you before you buy the album so you know if you like it”
(She leads the older couple the the music section, leaving the manager standing there shocked, I later see the couple with quite a few One Direction albums in their cart. Not only did the girl make customers happy, but she convinced them to buy a product they would not have without her)

Has More Than Just Teething Problems

, , , , | Healthy | August 14, 2018

(My dad is a dentist, and his office is a suite attached to the house. As a child, I am home sick from school, and Dad is with a patient. The door to the office chimes, followed by a long bang. By the time his hygienist comes out to check, the waiting room is empty. Meanwhile, I wake up to a man standing at the foot of my bed. I yell in a panic, and he looks strangely at me, and then puts a hand to his cheek.)

Patient: “I know my appointment isn’t until tomorrow, but this is killing me. Can you fit me in today?”

(Sick and scared, I kept yelling until my dad came running in, still wearing his mask. The patient had walked into the waiting room and, finding it empty, had broken down the door between the office and the house. Then, he had wandered through the house until he found the ten-year-old asleep in bed, and tried to reschedule his appointment. My father was furious and refused to work on him. The guy was surprised.)

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory

, , , , , | Right | August 14, 2018

(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

Gore-Tex Vortex

, , , , , , | Right | August 14, 2018

(A customer storms in with a pair of boots and slams them down on the counter.)

Customer #1: “Feet wet, boots Gore-Tex, money back, NOW!”

Me: *looking the boots over* “How long have you had them?”

Customer #1: “A year, but that doesn’t matter… Money back, NOW!”

Me: “Actually, it does.”

(I ask him to follow me to the footwear wall where all our boots are displayed, and I begin explaining to him that Gore-Tex is a one-way valve material in between layers of the footwear. It allows your perspiration to escape in the form of water vapor, but Gore-Tex is not what keeps the outer materials dry. That is a repellent called DWR, and it needs to be renewed at least once a year.)

Customer #1: “You have no idea what you’re talking about, and if you don’t give me my money back right now, I’ll have no choice but to talk with your manager.”

(Just then, another customer looking at footwear chimes in. He is older, with grey hair and glasses.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me. I don’t mean to interrupt… but he’s absolutely spot on with his simplified definition.”

Customer #1: “This isn’t any of your business!”

Customer #2: “Actually, it is. You see… I am one of the scientists who originally developed Gore-Tex. Perhaps you should listen to this gentleman; you might learn how to take care of your boots properly.”

Customer #1: “When I bought these boots, no one told me I had to maintain them.”

Me: “That may be so, and if it is, you have my apologies. Other than the DWR having worn off the outer of the boots, it looks like they still have plenty of life in them.”

(I hand him a can of water repellent from the shelf.)

Me: “By the way, I am the manager… and this one’s on me.”

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