Unfiltered Story #115228

, | Unfiltered | June 25, 2018

Me: ______, _______, and _________ Law Firm. This is Anne, how can I help you?
Customer: Can I talk to Chuck?
Me: There’s no one here by that name, I think you might have the wrong number.
Customer: Is this the ____ Car Dealership?
Me: Nope, this is a law firm.
Customer: Well I need Chuck.
Me: There’s no Chuck here….
Customer: I just talked to him on this number, I need Chuck.
Me: This is the my private extenstion at a law firm and there’s no Chuck here. You called 777-777-7777.
Customer: I know I called that number because that’s the number Chuck gave me and I just talked to him from that number.
Me: Well that’s impossible because this is a law firm.
Customer: Are you sure?
Me: Yep….
Customer: Well it can’t be because I just talked to Chuck on this number. Please give me Chuck.
Me:………I’m sorry. There’s no one here by that name. Have a nice day.
*I hung up*

I was tempted to see how long she would argue with me that Chuck called her fromt that number. It was my private extention that no one uses but me.

Sometimes You Just Have To Bear With Them

, , , , , , , | Legal | June 23, 2018

(A bear breaks into our basement. The only reason I know it is there is because the dog is going insane at the basement door. I go downstairs to see what he is barking at, and there is a bear sleeping in the corner. Where I live, animal control is only accessible through the police department. I pick up the phone and call 911.)

Dispatcher: “911. What is your emergency?”

Me: “A bear has broken into our basement and I need animal control to move it.”

Dispatcher: “So you have an intruder in your house?”

Me: “I guess you could call it that.”

Dispatcher: “Are you in a safe place?”

Me: “Uh, no. There is a bear in the basement.”

Dispatcher: “Are they armed?”

Me: “Uh, sort of. They have big teeth and really sharp claws.”

Dispatcher: “Can you give a description?”

(At this point I realize she is just following the emergency response card, and not really listening.)

Me: “Yeah, he looks like Smokey the Bear.”

(She never gets it through her head that we need animal control. Two officers arrive, with their hands on their weapons.)

Officer #1: “Where is the intruder?”

(I think to myself, “That figures. The moron forgot to tell him it’s a bear.” I show the officer the door. He comes back up looking as if he has seen a ghost.)

Officer #1: “Oh, you meant a bear bear?”

Me: “What kind of bear did you think I meant? A big, hairy, gay guy?!”

(Finally they called animal control, who sedated the bear and returned it to the wild.)

Running Out Of Ram

, , , , , | Friendly | June 23, 2018

(I am the customer, standing in line at the checkout. The next thing I know I get rammed really hard by a grocery cart from an elderly customer that comes up behind me.)

Me: “Excuse me. Please be more careful and don’t do that again.”

Customer: “MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!” *rams me again*

Me: *loudly* “You need to stop that now!

Customer: “Move! Go faster! I don’t have time to waste waiting for your a** to get checked out!” *rams me yet again*

Me: *grabbing her cart so she can’t hit me again, I lean in, giving her my nastiest look* “If you hit me with your cart again, I am going to take all of your groceries and shove them right up your a**!”

(The customer looks a little frightened, then huffs and stalks off.)

Cashier: “WOW!”

Me: “I know. That was unbelievable, wasn’t it?”

Cashier: “She comes in here at least once a week and does the same thing to whoever is in front of her; you are the first one to ever stand up to her!”

Me: “I guess she will think twice about ramming someone with her cart again.”

Blind To Any Other Reason

, , , , | Right | June 22, 2018

(A very nice, older veteran often comes in with two friends and his service dog, who he needs for his depression. The dog, a tiny dachshund, always has on a service vest. They often carry the dog to their usual table. One day a lady comes in after them.)

Customer: *snooty* “I didn’t know you allowed dogs in here.”

Me: “We don’t, but that’s a service dog.”

Customer: “He doesn’t look blind.”

Me: “Service dogs aren’t only for blind people.”

Customer: *looks at me suspiciously but orders, anyway*

Because There Is No One Else Sick Today Except You

, , , , | Healthy | June 21, 2018

(This takes place in a busy OB/GYN clinic. I’m a provider, one of four who are scheduled to see five or six patients per hour. We run all day to stay on schedule. A notoriously needy patient calls the front desk staff.)

Patient: “I have my appointment card and it says three, but I’m pretty sure my appointment was for one… Can you check?”

Clerk: “Looking in the computer, you’re scheduled for three, so we’ll see you then!”

(The patient over the years has scammed the private phone number for the patient care area, and calls.)

Patient: “I have an appointment for three, but I’m really sure I am supposed to come at one… You can see me, right?”

Nurse: “No, we are booked solid. We’ll see you at three!”

(Of course, the patient arrives at one. The desk clerk tells her we will see her at three. She sits in the waiting room and complains to everyone around her. Since we share a waiting area with a large family practice clinic and a couple of specialties, this gives her lots of opportunities. The poor desk clerk begs us to get her in early; initially we refuse, but after an hour, I have a teeny break in my schedule, so I relent. She smirks as the nurse brings her to the exam room. I do her routine visit. On the way out:)

Patient: “Oh, [My Name], I knew I could count on you; you’re always so nice to me.”

Me: “Well, [Patient], it turned out I had one opening in my schedule. The person scheduled for this time didn’t come, because she lost her baby.”

Patient:Oh, [My Name!] Why did you tell me that?! Now I feel bad!

(Can’t have that, can we?)

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