Jumping To The Obvious

, , , , | Friendly | October 24, 2018

(I’m a college student, and I’ve gone to the store to buy groceries. I’m about to leave when my car dies, so I need a jump. I’m standing by my car holding a pair of jumper cables in hopes that some kind person will help me. A blonde girl in her 20s walks by.)

Girl: “Do you need any help?”

Me: “Yes! My car is dead. Can you use your car to help me jump mine?”

Girl: “Sure! Just drive your car over to mine! It’s at the other side of the parking lot.”

Me: “That’s going to be kind of difficult, seeing as my car won’t start.”

Girl: “Really? Okay, I guess I can drive my car over.”

(We did eventually get my car to start, and the girl was really nice, but it’s people like this that make me want to hit my head against a wall.)

Should Have Kept Zip!

, , , , | Right | October 24, 2018

(I work at a very popular discount store in a shopping center. We get employees from other stores in here all the time to get drinks and snacks before their shifts. A woman wearing another store uniform comes up to my register with a soda and chips when I notice something. I finish scanning her order and motion her towards me, covering the side of my mouth to let her know her zipper is down without embarrassing her.)

Next Customer: *slams her hand on the counter* “No, do not do this. I’m very late and you guys always do this.”

(I look at the customer, slightly confused, but tell the girl again since she didn’t hear me the first time.)

Next Customer: *gets angrier* “Seriously?! I’m late, and you’re sitting here gossiping! You guys always do this!”

Me: *turns to her* “Ma’am, I have never met this girl in my life before, but she’s just about to go to work with her zipper down. How would you feel going to work, interacting with customers and other employees for eight hours, and going home, just to find out your zipper was down the entire time?”

Next Customer: *stutters and turns bright red* “Well… I’m late and I need to go.”

Me: “Okay, just a moment.” *turns back to the girl and finishes her transaction*

Girl: “Thank you so much, [My Name]!” *smiles and walks away*

([Next Customer] was quiet throughout her whole transaction, still beet red.)

Inviting In Some Disaster

, , , , , | Friendly | October 23, 2018

As maid of honor for my friend’s wedding, I agree to manage the RSVPs. It’s a smallish wedding, about 60 people, and they’ve decided not to invite any children. After the initial invitations go out, the groom’s father asks if he could give an invite to his cubicle-mate to try to improve their work camaraderie. The couple agrees. A few days later, I get the RSVP in the mail. It’s scribbled over, an angry note attached.

“Obviously, you have NO IDEA how to be polite for a wedding. FAMILIES are invited to weddings, INCLUDING CHILDREN. It’s rude to expect people to PAY a babysitter just for YOU. WE WILL ALL BE THERE. I hope your MARRIAGE is better than your INVITES.”

Attached were RSVPs for the couple, three children they had from various previous relationships, and two children they had as a couple. All were listed as wanting the prime rib, including the seven-month-old baby.

The couple and the groom’s family had a huge fight over this. The bride wanted to rescind the invite for the whole family, but the groom’s parents were worried about how it would affect the work conditions; after all, he had invited him to try to improve their relationship. In the end, the groom’s father agreed to pay for his coworker’s meals.

The day of the wedding, the groom’s father’s phone rings just before the ceremony. It’s his coworker, saying he will be late. The father quickly replies, then hangs up in time to see his son to the altar. The family ends up not showing to the ceremony, or the reception. It’s blatantly obvious as there are seven tables, with one completely empty.

When the father of the groom gets back to work, he confronts his coworker, who says he decided not to come because the father of the groom was “terse” on the phone. However, he does have a wedding gift. It’s a coffee maker, used and put back in the box, with old coffee grounds still in it.

Needless to say, the olive branch of the invite did not help the relationship between the father of the groom and his cubicle-mate.

Beer Brawl

, , , | Right | October 20, 2018

(I work as a monitor and head cashier at a grocery store in a state with strict alcohol laws. For this reason, the store I work in can only sell beer through a café license, which means beer can only be purchased at the café register. At the time of night this story takes place I am the only associate left in the front. I am watching the self scans when I hear the beer cashier call over the intercom:)

Cashier: “Override needed in the beer café.”

(I walk over to the café and see a notoriously difficult customer known for taking advantage of our store’s lenient return policy by “returning” stolen razors, until our policy was revised to crack down on people like her.)

Customer #1: *to boyfriend* “You know I make more than enough a week to buy this damn six-pack!”

(As she rants to her boyfriend, the cashier informs me that he is voiding the sale because her card only has enough left to cover half of the six-pack she is trying to buy. I put the void through and return to my post, hoping this will be the last I have to deal with this customer. Three minutes later:)

Customer #2: “Hi, are you [My Name]? This insane woman is over in the café trying to create a fight, and [Cashier] asked me to find you. [Customer #3] offered to pay for her beer so the rest of us could go through the line, and things went downhill from there…”

Me: *as I walk over* “Yeah, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

(As I arrive I find [Customer #1] screaming at [Customer #3] as her boyfriend hangs his head shamefully, sitting in a café booth.)

Customer #1: “You need to mind your own d*** business! I don’t need any of your d*** charity!”

(This continues for a little while longer. After she pauses, I interject:)

Me: “Ma’am, since your card wasn’t accepted, and you won’t accept her offer, I’m afraid there is nothing more we can do, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave so we can take the other customers.”

Customer #1: “FINE! I’ll just be back tomorrow after I talk to the president of my bank! I clean his bank’s floors, I’ll have you know! I know him personally!

Customer #2: “Yeah, yeah, keep movin’!”

Customer #1: “Yeah, b—”

Customer #2: “Uh-huh, shut up and keep movin’!”

([Customer #1] finally leaves the store.)

Me: “Yep, every time she sets foot in this store it’s always something.”

Idiots Have Reached Their Pee Total

, , , , | Right | October 18, 2018

(Whenever the women’s or men’s restrooms are being cleaned, a sign is put up directing them to the family restroom, which is only one stall. Normally, people are smart enough to use the family one or wait their turn; however, we get a few idiots. I am on my lunch and have taken off my employee lanyard to go the bathroom. When I come out, I see a woman trying to get into the women’s bathroom.)

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t go in there. It’s being cleaned.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know?”

Me: “Well, his cleaning cart and garbage can are parked right in front of the door, blocking your way, and there is a sign saying to please use the family one, as this one is being cleaned.”

Customer: “But you were in there!”

Me: “Yes, but you could’ve waited. Instead, I see that you squeezed between the garbage can and his cart and since the floor is wet in there, you could have slipped and fallen. Also, if you would’ve gotten hurt, it would have been entirely your fault since he has properly placed signage stating this restroom is closed.”

Customer: “But I had to pee!”

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