Unfiltered Story #101666

, , | Unfiltered | December 17, 2017

(I’m working the evening shift at a popular fast food chain. While our drive-thru stays open until 2am, our dining room closes at 10pm. On this one particular night, business is slow, and as the dining room is empty, my co-worker and I start sweeping and mopping. Around 9:30pm a car pulls up in front of the door and we see a older man get out.)

Man: (He walks up to the door but doesn’t open it, with his hand on the door handle,  he just stands there looking at us through the front window and gestures questioningly at the door  and mouths somthing to the effect of “Are you still open?” )

(As the hours are clearly posted on the door, I exchange a puzzled glance with my co-worker)

Me: (since the man has not even tried to open the  unlocked door,  I nod and mouth silently back to him,)  “Yes, we are still open.”

Man: (turns and waves the rest of his family out of the car)

(At this moment I get a ping on my headset indicating that someone is at the drive-thru and so I leave to take the order. As I am finishing up with serving the customer at the window, I hear a commotion in the dining room and see my manager running to the front of the store. I glance around the corner of the drive thru alcove and see the man standing in the middle of the dining room yelling at my manager.  He then see me.)

Man: (shouting and pointing his finger at me)
THAT’S THE GUY! THAT GUY CALLED ME AN A**HOLE!!!

Me:( my mouth drops in surprise) Sir,…I would never call-

Man: (cutting me off and still shouting) YES! YES, YOU DID! I’M NO EXPERT AT READING LIPS, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE YOU CALLED ME AN A**HOLE!

(I try to explain to him that I was just trying to let him know that we were indeed open, yet he continues to rant and yell about how terrible we are.  He reiterates how he “is not an expert at reading lips”, but is still sure that I called him an “A-hole”, and how I should be fired. His family, meanwhile, stands by the door looking mortified)

Man: (Waving his family back through the door) WE’RE LEAVING AND NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN.

(once they are gome I turn to my manager)

Me:  (mildly shaken) Look, (manager) I never called him that.

Manager: (slightly bemused) Yeah, (my name) I know.  It’s not like you to use that kind of language.  Although It’s kinda funny  that someone who “isn’t an expert at reading lips” was so dead sure of what he thought you said.

Expects Everything But The Kitchen Sink

, , , , , | Right | December 15, 2017

(A customer custom-orders a large amount — over $1000 worth — of solid brass hardware for kitchen cupboards from one of our vendor’s catalogues. A week later, she returns it and custom-orders another large amount of kitchen hardware. This, too, she returns a week later. She tries to place a third custom order.)

Me: “I should let you know in advance, ma’am, that we are no longer allowed to return special orders placed from here on out.” *I point to the policy which is on the counter*

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Our vendors will not accept returns on opened items.” *I gesture to a box with her two previous returns in it* “We are stuck with merchandise that’s difficult to move, and it’s a major financial burden on a store our size. Why don’t we order one pull for you to see and decide if you like it?”

Customer: “I won’t know if I like the look until I’ve had them all installed in my kitchen for a few days! This is unbelievable! This is why small businesses are going out of business. No customer service!”

(At this point, she hurls one of the cabinet knobs at me, knocking down a display.)

Me: “Actually, ma’am, we are only going out of business because we deal with unreasonable expectations from customers. You have five seconds to get out of the shop before I call police.”

They Need To Carb-Load Their Medical Degree

, , , , | Healthy | December 15, 2017

(I’ve been a diabetic for over 42 years, so I’m a bit “old school” when it comes to caring for my diabetes. Still, I must be doing something right, as my control has been fairly tight up until recently. Because of new issues, I go to see an endocrinologist and am discussing my diet with her. And as dismayed as I am to say it, I’m about 60 lbs overweight.)

Doctor: “How many carbs do you eat per meal?”

Me: “Oh, three, sometimes four. If I’m feeling particularly crazy, I’ll have up to five, but that’s my limit.”

Doctor: *looking at me in horror* “How many?!”

Me: “Three or four.”

Doctor: “Grams?”

Me: *holding my arms wide* “Do I look like a mouse? I’m talking about the diabetic exchange, doc. Fifteen grams is one carb, and I eat three or four carbs per meal, with two carbs being a snack.”

Doctor: “Oh, God! I thought you were eating only three or four grams per meal.”

Me: “Yes… and I have a blood glucose of zero.”

Blowing Nothing But Hot Air

, , , , , , | Right | December 15, 2017

(I am an apprentice glassblower, learning under a master artisan who has been in the business for over 30 years. One day, I’m working on a piece while my boss works with tourists, answering questions and explaining what I am doing.)

Tourist: *to me* “Excuse me, I have a question.”

Boss: “I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have! He’s working on a time-sensitive piece.”

Tourist: “Uh, no. Excuse me! Excuse me!”

Boss: “Really, please don’t interrupt him. I’m more than happy to answer any questions.”

(The tourist is quiet for a minute, and then starts climbing over the railing to get to me. My boss grabs him back, and I abandon the piece I’m working on to get on the phone to security.)

Tourist: “I just wanted to ask a question, and I knew that old guy wouldn’t know! Is that so hard?”

Me: “What the h*** could you have to ask?”

Tourist: *pointing* “Is that fire hot?”

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 41

, , , , , | Related | December 15, 2017

(I’m suddenly woken early in the morning by a series of texts from my sister.)

Text #1: “Hey! Guess what? Someone just wonder traded me a Furfrou named Dazzle!”

(I realize with horror that she’s seriously playing Pokémon at four in the morning.)

Text #2: “I’m going to put it in my party with my Slowbro, Zazzle, and together they can be ‘Dazzle and Zazzle!’”

Text #3: “And then I’ll put them next to Lilith, so they can be Dazzle, Zazzle, and a Salazzle!”

Text #4: “And then they’re going to start a comedy troupe together and I’ll be rich!”

Me: *banging on the wall to her room* “Oh, my God! Go to bed!”

(I later found out she named her Wailord after me because I yelled at her for waking me.)

 

Related:

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 40

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 39

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 38

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