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On Reflection, Best Not To Ask…

, , , , , | Right | June 9, 2010

(I work at a store where we stuff animals for our guests. I am helping three sisters, one about 13, one 11, one 6, stuff their bears.)

Me: “So, are you going to get clothes for your bear?”

Youngest Sister: “Maybe, I hope so!” *notices my name tag* “Hey! Your name is Emily. That’s my twin sister’s name!”

Me: “Oh, that’s great!”

([Youngest Sister] leaves and I help the middle sister, then the oldest.)

Middle Sister: “Oh, your name is Emily; that’s my, uh, sister’s twin’s name.”

Me: “Yeah, she told me that. Where is her sister? I didn’t see her.”

Oldest Sister: “She didn’t tell you?!” *yelling* “Hey [Youngest Sister], where does your twin live?”

Youngest Sister: “In the mirrors!”


This story is part of our Creepy Kids roundup!

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Scare Bears

, , , | Right | June 3, 2010

(I’m talking to two young customers about their stuffed animals with their aunt waiting behind them.)

Me: “So, what are you going to name your bears?”

Girl #1: *shrug*

Girl #2: “I don’t know yet.”

Me: “Oh, well, that’s okay.”

Girl #1: *very serious* “You know, my sister’s last name is Ross, but that’s not my last name. Do you know why?”

Me: “Uh… well, um. I’m not sure?”

(The aunt rushes over.)

Aunt: “Oh, sweetie! You should ask your mom that!”

Girl #1: “Oh… okay.” *walks away forlorn*


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

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(D)efinitely (V)ery (D)umb

, , , , | Right | May 21, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [store], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, you just rented me this movie, and it doesn’t work.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “It keeps playing the same scene over and over again.”

Me: “The same scene keeps playing?”

Customer: “Yeah, and it has these words written on it. ‘Play’, ‘Scene Selection’, ‘Language’ and ‘Special Features’.”

Me: “Uh, sir, that’s the DVD menu. You just have to click ‘Play’ and the movie will start.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard of that. How do I do that?”

Me: “Uh, just hit the arrow buttons on your remote until you get to ‘Play’, then hit ‘Enter’ and the movie will start. Or, if you have a ‘Play’ button, just hit that.”

Customer: “Okay, where is that on my remote?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what your remote looks like.”

Customer: “Never mind, I found it. Okay, I’m clicking ‘Play’. Well now it just went black! Oh, now it has something different. Can you stay on the line with me for a little to make sure that scene doesn’t start repeating again?”

Too Lazy Even For The Devil’s Playthings

, , , , | Right | May 15, 2010

Customer: “How do I send a picture from my phone?”

Me:  “I can definitely help out. Is the picture in your inbox or in your images?”

Customer: “Images.”

Me: “Great. Highlight the image you want to send, press the Options key, and select Send as MMS.”

Customer: “Why the h*** do I have to do all the work?”


This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

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No Intelligence Inside

, , , | Right | May 11, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Second-hand Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve been trying to find games for my computer and I was wondering if you had any?”

Me: “We have plenty of computer games. What kind of operating system are you running?”

Customer: “Huh? It’s um… it’s a [Computer Brand].”

Me: “Okay, but which operating system do you use?”

Customer: “It’s a… [Retail Store]?”


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