(My coworkers and I are enjoying our company holiday party. One of my coworkers, who just turned 21, is ordering a drink. The server is clearly experienced and knows what she’s doing.)

Coworker: “Can I please have a strawberry lemonade with vodka?”

Server: “Sure! I’ll be back with your drinks.”

(About three minutes later, the server arrives with my tables’ drinks, including my coworker’s lemonade. She takes a sip.)

Coworker: “Oh, no! This is too strong. Can you please add some more juice to it? And can you also add some whipped cream on top?”

Server: “Sure, no problem.”

(Our server is back almost a minute afterwards with her drink. As soon as she puts it down in front of my coworker, the following happens:)

Coworker: “I forgot to ask you to put it all in the blender! I can’t have this drink like this. Please take it back and put it through the blender!”

Server: “I am sorry, miss, but you would need to order a new drink.”

Coworker: “Why? It’s just a quick ten seconds on the blender! How is that too hard for you to do?”

Server: “I apologize but this is company policy. Would you like to order a frozen drink instead?”

Coworker: “Never mind! You’re so unhelpful! I would like to speak to your manager!”

Me & Other Coworkers: “Shut up and drink your cocktail!”

(We found out that my coworker did not tip our server. We all gave a little extra on our tips to make up for her abrasiveness. Our server was really happy to know not all of us were like my coworker!)

(We’re taking my little sister to attend a friend’s birthday party at a restaurant. Upon arriving, we witness another party that has gotten out of control, complete with children running all over the place and hitting each other with balloons while most of the adults just sit back and watch.)

Me: “Oh, great… Twenty-four children running around, trying to kill each other for cake and pizza while adults watch… This isn’t a birthday party; it’s the Hunger Games…”

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(I am very involved in sexual orientation as I am a guidance counselor at a local college who often assists with identifying. I myself identify as asexual, and am very passionate about the LGBT+ world. My boyfriend and I are attending a party where we are talking to another couple after they have learned I’m asexual.)

Woman: “But how do you have a boyfriend? If you don’t like anyone, how can you date?”

Me: “Well, actually—”

Boyfriend: “—asexuality is not having sexual attraction. She is romantically attracted to me, but she has no desire to engage in sexual activity with me.”

(This is what I always say, word for word. He calmly takes a sip of wine, and sees me staring at him.)

Boyfriend: “What?”

Me: “How’d you know what I was going to say?”

Boyfriend: “You’ve been saying the same thing for the past two years anytime someone asks.”

Me: “I’m going to have to change it up.”

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(My roommate and I are attending a holiday party thrown by some friends of ours who live in a small apartment with only one bathroom. There are around ten of us, but so far, only having one bathroom has not been an issue. Near the end of the party, my roommate goes in to use the bathroom. I also need to go, but figure I can wait for a few minutes. Ten minutes roll by, and I wonder if she isn’t feeling well.)

Friend: “Where is [Roommate]? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

Me: “In the bathroom. Hope she’s okay. I have to go, too.”

(Finally, after 20 minutes, she emerges excitedly, phone in hand.)

Roommate: “I leveled up!”

(I am at a house party where the attendees are mostly from my school, which is a very accepting school with a large LGBT+ population. A male stranger from a different school is present, and my classmate and I decide to make friendly conversation with him. Two of our other female classmates, who are dating each other, have just arrived.)

Me: “Hey, there’s [Couple’s Names].”

Stranger: “Who are they?”

Friend: “They go to school with us. They’re dating.”

Stranger: “They’re DATING? That’s awesome.”

(A few minutes later, we are discussing sexual orientation.)

Stranger: “So you’re gay?”

Me: “Not totally gay, but gay enough. I’m bisexual.”

Stranger: “That’s cool! Have you ever talked to [Couple’s Names] about having a threesome?”

(I am shocked at how rude and presumptuous this question is, but I attempt to keep my cool.)

Me: “Um, no. I actually have a girlfriend.”

Stranger: “Oh, cool. So, like a foursome, then?”

(I stand in silence for a few moments.)

Me: “All right, I need a drink.”