No Helium For The Airhead, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | March 21, 2019

(I work at a party shop that sells balloons as well as the option to have them inflated with helium to make them float. A middle-aged customer walks in with balloons on ribbons that are tied to a balloon weight. The balloons are clearly just filled with air as they are dragging along the floor, not floating at all.)

Customer: “Hi! I’m so confused. I inflated the balloons that I bought from you but they’re not floating! Is something wrong with them?”

Me: “How did you inflate them? Did you hire a helium cylinder from us or do you have access to helium?”

Customer: “Oh! No, I just inflated them by mouth. I thought it would be cheaper than helium.”

Me: “Yes, it’s cheaper but balloons don’t float with air. They need to be inflated with helium to float.”

Customer: “Oh! Really?!”

(I can’t stop picturing the customer sitting at home, huffing and puffing away and not understanding why her breath isn’t making the balloons float.)

No Helium For The Airhead, Part 2
No Helium For The Airhead

Unfiltered Story #123726

, , | Unfiltered | October 20, 2018

(My coworker has just split up with her boyfriend and is having a hard time of it at work. She’s already had to go to the bathroom a few times to cry. It’s at the end of her shift and I’m helping a customer with her balloon order.)

Coworker: [My name], do I look okay?

Me: Your eyes are still a little puffy, but it looks more like you haven’t slept well.

Customer: Did you hear that? She just told you that you look horrible! Not just horrible, but she said you look horrible and fat! Not just that, but she also called you horrible names behind your back.

Coworker: *Looks wide-eyed in shock at first and turns to me* Did you really say that?

Me: *Catching onto the joke* Yep, sure did. I also said how you like flirting with the guys around here and always bringing booze to work without sharing.

Customer: I can’t believe it! Not only did she say you look horrible, fat, and call you names behind your back, but now she’s saying you’re also a ho and a drunk! I wouldn’t take that if I were you. You should tattle on her to your manager about her pill-popping addiction.

Coworker: *Cracks up laughing*

Customer: Don’t worry, I’ll tell the manager for you. I’m on to her tricks.

(I cracked jokes with her the rest of the time, and I’m grateful she was able to bring a smile to my coworker’s face.)

Unfiltered Story #123431

, , | Unfiltered | October 11, 2018

Me: Thank you for calling [Store], how can I help you?

Female customer: You sell Frozen stuff?

Me: We most certainly do. Is there something in particular you’re looking for?

Female customer: No.

Me: *Waits a few seconds* Well, then I’m glad I can help. Thank you for calling and goodbye.

Customer: Wait! I ain’t done! You got balloons?

Me: We offer latex and mylar balloons.

Customer: You got Frozen balloons?

Me: We do, however we’re currently out of all Frozen balloons at this time.

Customer: Oh. Okay. *Hangs up*

*Next day, which is Saturday, we have massive balloon orders to fill. Customers will come in earlier in the week, select the items and the day and time they want the balloons filled. We tend to have at least 40 before noon. As it happens, ten to twelve of them are Frozen balloon orders that the customers have already prepaid for. We bag them and put them in our holding area for the customers to come in to claim*

Me: *Greeting a female customer who has come in and looking very hostile* Hello! Welcome to [Store]. Is there anything I can help you find?

Customer: You got Frozen stuff?

Me: We do, yes. Would you like me to show you where it is?

Customer: Nah. You got Frozen balloons?

Me: *Cluing in that this is the same customer who called the night before* We do. However we sold out of all Frozen balloons by Thursday. Did you by chance call about Frozen balloons last night?

Customer: Yeah, I did. She told me you had some.

Me: I believe you talked with me last night. I’m afraid I told you that we were out last night as well. Can I ask who you spoke with?

Customer: Yeah, it was [My Name].

Me: *points to tag and laughs* It was me, then. I’m really sorry, but we really are out of Frozen. However, if you need them for a later date, we can place an order in and let you know when they come in.

Customer: *Points to the orders that have been filled* You liar! I see them balloons over there! You got some!

Me: Those are orders that have been placed in and purchased already, ma’am. They aren’t for sale anymore.

Customer: But you got some.

Me: Yes, but not for sale. When are you needing your balloons for?

Customer: I need them right now! My niece has a party today and she loves Frozen. Give me one of them.

Me: Ma’am, I can’t. They aren’t for sale. Those are other customers’ orders. They have paid for them already.

Customer: You ain’t got none left over?

Me: No. We won’t have any until likely Tuesday or Wednesday of next week.

Customer: You can’t give me one of those?

Me: I’m sorry, I can’t. That’s not fair to the customer who bought them already.

Customer: S***. Give me one of those anyway. They won’t notice.

Me: I can’t.

Customer: *Gets loud* I SAID GIVE ME THOSE ONES!

Me: No. You can buy some latex balloons. But you aren’t getting any of those.

*The customer charges over to the order section and tries to grab one. She gets grabbed by the manager and a coworker, is escorted out and is given the suggestion not to come back*

Oh, He No!

, , , | Right | March 17, 2018

(I work in a popular party store, and we sell balloons. We sell them by the package, and individually if you would like to have them inflated. I am working the front counter when a customer walks out from the aisle.)

Customer: “Are these balloons helium free?” *proceeds to hold up a package of latex balloons that were not inflated*

Me: “Yes, they are.”

Customer: “How can you tell?”

Party To Your Demands

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2017

Customer: “I need to book a birthday party. How much advance notice do you need?”

Me: “Okay, we can do that. We need at least one week of advance notice.”

Customer: “Well, that won’t work! I need it to be next Sunday!”

Me: “No, that’s fine. That’s a week, so we can do that.”

Customer: “What time is my party going to be?”

Me: “We have one spot open that day. Our only available spot for [date] is 10:00 to 11:45.”

Customer: “Well, that won’t work at all! We have a very important church event that morning. What other times do you have?”

Me: “There are three other parties going on here that day. The 10:00 am spot is the only one open.”

Customer: “What if we did it earlier in the day? Can’t I do that?”

Me: “We open at 10:00.”

Customer:You are inconveniencing me! Fine, what about Saturday?”

(I check the system, and see that we have three parties on Saturday as well. I groan inwardly because I can just tell this is going to be a problem for this customer. Also, I shouldn’t be booking a party less than a week in advance, but I figure that since it is nearly a week, my boss won’t mind too much.)

Me: “There are three parties Saturday as well, but there are two spots open. You could book your party from 4:00 to 5:45 or from 6:00 to 7:45.”

Customer:Ugh! This is not going to work for me! You people are very inconvenient about this; it’s like you don’t even want people to have their parties here!”

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