“Leave” It For Them To Figure Out

, , , , | Right | April 29, 2019

(I’m working as a customer service representative for a well-known university/health system’s parking department. Part of my job involves answering the phones when customers at the gates at the entrances and exits of the garages hit the “attendant” button. My phone rings and I get this:)

Me: “Parking, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. There’s someone blocking the gate and my gate is open.”

Me: “Are they just sitting in front of you, or are they trying to turn onto the street?”

(I am in an office in a different building, with no way to contact a random car that is past the gate.)

Customer: “They’re over in the other lane but they’re just sitting there. Can I leave?”

Me: “They are not in front of you, sir, and your gate is up?”

Customer: “That’s right. Can I leave?”

Me: “Sir, if your gate is up, you are welcome to leave.”

Customer: *drives off*

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Burger And The Beast

, , , , | Working | April 23, 2019

(Some friends of mine and I are leaving a hotel parking garage in my car. I pull up to the payment booth. There are two employees inside; one is waving around a fast food hamburger and chewing out the other.)

Employee: “F****** idiot! How can you totally screw up a simple hamburger order?!”

(The angry employee turns to me and it’s like he flips a personality switch.)

Employee: *now calm* “Hello, sir. I hope your stay with us was pleasant. May I have your parking ticket, please?”

(I hand it to him and he begins yelling at the other employee again.)

Employee: *angry again* “I mean, good f****** God! Look at all this ketchup and s***!” *turns back to me, calm again* “That will be $[total], sir.”

(I pay, and as he counts the money he turns on his apparently hamburger-ordering-challenged coworker yet again.)

Employee: *angry again* “Were you always a f****** idiot or did you burn your brain out with drugs or something?”

(As the gate opens, he bids me farewell.)

Employee: *once again calm* “Thank you, sir, and have a safe drive home. Come back and visit us again!”

(As we drove off, we could hear him still yelling at the other employee.)

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Take A Bike Seat And Calm Down…

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2018

(I work as a parking attendant. My job is mostly to direct people where to park, and to occasionally take payments if they can’t figure out our automatic pay stations. Parking citations are written up by a separate branch of our department, but I still sometimes get customers demanding I explain why they got citations. This particular one approaches my kiosk with a citation in hand.)

Customer: “Hey, can I show you something?”

Me: “I can’t actually leave the booth, I’m sorry. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I’ve got a note on the back of my bike that explains where my parking permit is, but I still got a citation. I know it says it’s just a warning, but it’s worked for the last three weeks.”

(The customer hands me the citation; it states it was given out as a no permit/payment warning. He then walks over to his bike and angrily pulls out a sign that says, “Permit is under the backseat. Lift to check.” He’s so agitated that he simply drops the bike seat to the ground and kicks it away so he can pull out his valid permit, as well.)

Customer: “I don’t know if you got a new guy checking payment or whatever, but it’s not my fault if the [disabled slur] can’t read.”

(I can’t do anything about the citation, but as it’s a warning, it’s not a huge issue.)

Me: “Well, if you’re worried about it happening again, I can give you an email to contact our office. Or, if you have time, you can go across the street and talk to them right now.”

Customer: “Listen! It worked before! It’s not my fault if they can’t read!”

Me: “Sir, if you would like—”

Customer: “Whatever! I’m not paying for this.”

(He tossed the crumpled citation slip — again, a warning that he would not have had to pay for — onto my desk and walked away, cursing under his breath. The kicker? I looked at the citation slip again, and it had a note on it that his backseat was locked down and there was no way to check under it to see his permit. Good job reading, friend.)

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Unfiltered Story #102055

, , | Unfiltered | December 19, 2017

I work for parking services at a university, which means my department is in charge of parking enforcement; i.e. tickets, boots, and towing.

Customer comes in saying that a boot was placed on their car (which it was) and that they were only there for “a few minutes”. Looking at the boot paperwork I told the customer that the vehicle was booted over 4 hours ago to which they responds “yeah, I was there for a few hours.”

Their Standards Are E-Volvo-ing

, | Learning | July 25, 2017

(I work at a private school which isn’t Catholic and there are no uniforms. Most of the kids at the school are upper middle class or in the 1%. This is a conversation I hear in the grade 12 parking lot after school.)

Kid #1: “Okay, here’s my grandparents Volvo. I can fit four in here.”

Kid #2: “Oh…”

Kid #1: “What’s wrong?”

Kid #2: “I didn’t know you were subsidized.” *a few kids get their tuition subsidized but [Kid #1] is not one of those*

Kid #1: “Excuse me?! Just because my parents don’t want to waste money on a new car doesn’t mean I’m subsidized. What is wrong with you?” *gets into car and slams door*

Kid #2: *tries getting into front seat but [Kid #1] locks it and rolls down the window*

Kid #1: “Yeah, don’t even think about it.”

(Oh, high school drama.)

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