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Save A Parking Space For Some Justice

, , , | Right | August 4, 2021

I work at a hotel. It’s high-end, so we often take the approach of just appeasing guests no matter what. I frequently have to bite my tongue. However, we have a very desirable parking lot, and when people poach it, we boot them. I love enforcing this because I don’t have to bite my tongue or apologize, as they aren’t guests.

A young woman parks and walks to the neighboring hotel. Our general manager happens to be in the lot.

General Manager: “Hey, just FYI, this is parking for [Our Hotel], not [Neighboring Hotel].”

She simply flips him off and walks into the neighboring hotel. The manager calls me and tells me what happened. I giggle, grab the boot, and slap it on her car. She comes back screaming and ranting.

Me: “The cost to remove it is $200.”

She calls the police. The police simply ask:

Police: “Is this a private lot?”

Woman: “Yes.”

Police: “Okay, then pay them.”

She refuses to pay and storms off. I get a call requesting the manager. I speak with the caller; it’s the woman’s mom.

Woman’s Mother: “Oh, my daughter didn’t know. She was there for a job interview!”

I let her go on, and when she finally stops making excuses, I tell her:

Me: “Your daughter flipped off the general manager. The boot is not coming off without payment.”

She hung up. The daughter came back and silently handed me the money, with a look of rage on her face. I’ve never been so internally giggly before.

The Windows Are Open But No One Is Home

, , , , | Romantic | CREDIT: FinancialElephant5 | July 23, 2021

After work one day, I stopped by the store to get some stuff for dinner. I had gotten little sleep the night before, and I accidentally locked my keys in my car. They had fallen out of my purse, or I thought I put them in my purse; I honestly don’t know how I did it. I am surprised I got to the store.

My car windows were up completely, so there was no way of somehow jamming something in there to unlock it. However, I had a spare key at the apartment, so I called my boyfriend.

Me: “Hey, I accidentally locked myself out of the car. Can you bring me my spare car key?”

Boyfriend: “How did you even do that?”

Me: “I honestly don’t remember — something involving my purse. Can you bring me my car key please? I’ll get you Pop-Tarts.”

Boyfriend: “Just unlock your car.”

Me: “I can’t. My keys are locked in the car.”

Boyfriend: “No, you can unlock it. Just stick your hand through the window and unlock it.”

Me: “No, I can’t. My window is up.”

Boyfriend: “Get a coat hanger.”

Me: “I can’t. My window is completely up. There is absolutely no way I can get anything through my window.”

Boyfriend: “Yes, you can. Just stick your hand through the window and unlock it!”

I honestly couldn’t believe I was actually having this conversation.

Me: “Listen to me very carefully. My window is completely rolled up, meaning there is no way for me to put my hand through the window and unlock it. There is no way to put a coat hanger through the window because the window, all the windows, are completely rolled up!”

Boyfriend: “Well, I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

Me: “BRING. ME. MY. SPARE. CAR. KEY.”

Boyfriend: “WHY?!”

I honestly thought he was messing with me, but he really sounded aggravated and like I wasn’t understanding him at all.

Me: “I will tell you later. Please bring me my spare car key from the apartment. Please.”

Boyfriend: “Okay, fine. I don’t see why you need it.”

I hung up, completely frustrated. I went inside and got my shopping done. I saw [Boyfriend]’s car pull into the store’s parking lot and headed outside to meet him. He handed me my spare key.

Me: “Come here, [Boyfriend].”

Boyfriend: “Ooooh, am I going to get a kiss?!”

No.

Me: “Look into my car, [Boyfriend].”

He looked into my car.

Me: “Do you see my keys in there, [Boyfriend]?”

Boyfriend: “Yes?”

Me: “Try to get them out, [Boyfriend].”

He tried to open my car door. It was locked.

Boyfriend: “I can’t; it’s locked.”

Me: “Try to get them out without my spare car key.”

He then proceeded to look for a window crack. There was none.

Boyfriend: “I can’t. There isn’t a way to stick my hand or anything in there to unlock.”

I stared at him. He didn’t understand why I was staring at him.

I handed him my spare key and told him to show me how to get the car keys out now. He then unlocked the door, rolled down my window, locked the car, shut the door, and then reached his arm through the OPEN window and unlocked it.

Boyfriend: “See, like that. Unlock it like that!”

At this point, I had such a massive headache from him not understanding why it was literally impossible for me to do any of that that I just put the groceries into my car, got into my car, and drove home.

That night at home, he asked if I was mad at him.

Me: “I wouldn’t say mad. I’m more… frustrated… annoyed… tired… baffled.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I can understand, especially if you couldn’t simply unlock your door like I showed you today.”

I went and got high after that.

Two weeks later, we decided to go to the downtown area for our date night. Before heading downtown, we had to get gas. I was waiting in his car when he rolled down his window and unlocked it from the outside by sticking his arm through THE OPEN WINDOW.

Boyfriend: “Seeee, like that. Next time your keys are locked in your car, unlock it like that.”

He later brought it up to my mom at dinner. She also tried to explain to him why his idea wouldn’t work AT ALL, but he was determined to make sense of it, when he couldn’t because the f****** WINDOW WAS ROLLED UP.

That was two years ago. I am still very much dating him; in fact, we are engaged now. I love him deeply; he is a good man. He just happens to be an idiot.

If There’s A Tournament He’s The Jester

, , , , , , | Right | July 22, 2021

Our comic shop is located in a busy section of downtown. During the weekends, people will try and park in our small lot to go to other stores or just walk around. We have a sign stating that we will tow off non-customer cars. I am working on a busy Saturday when I see a man park and begin walking in the opposite direction of the store. I walk out and flag him down before he gets far.

Me: “SIR! You can’t park here if you’re not a customer! You’ll have to either move to another lot or use the city parking garage down the street.”

Older Man: “Miss, I am not going to be long. I’ll be back in a few hours. I’m sure your store will survive my car being there.”

We have a tournament starting soon and our lot WILL fill up very quickly.

Me: “We actually need that spot. We have a tournament starting soon and—”

Older Man: “That’s nice. I really don’t care.”

He walks off. I go back into the store fuming.

Me: “Hey, [Owner], that guy is going to be taking that spot up for hours. What do you want to do?”

Owner: “You know the number. Call the tow truck.”

I smile evilly and call the towing company. They arrive in half an hour and tow off the vehicle. We have their business card for when this happens. The tournament starts soon after his vehicle is removed and is in full swing a few hours later when we see the old man come back, looking around where his car used to be. He comes stomping inside, face red.

Older Man: “You! You f****** b****! Where is my car?!”

Me: “Towed, about three hours ago. Here’s the card for the company.”

I handed over the card for the towing company, and he simply took it with one shaking hand and walked out. Right as he got outside, he let out this roar of rage, grabbed the plastic trash can we keep out front, and threw it at the window. Since the window is plexiglass, the can just bounced off the window and rolled back to the man’s feet. The entire store was quiet for a moment, and then someone started to giggle. Soon, we were all laughing, fake roaring, and pointing at how stupid he looked. He flipped us off and stormed off, never to be seen again.


This story is part of our Best Of July 2021 roundup!

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Invisible Disability, Visible Laziness

, , , , , , | Friendly | July 13, 2021

I have what is sometimes called an invisible disability. It varies from week to week. At its best, it is a numb pain; at worst, I can barely walk. Even so, unless I absolutely have to, I never park in the disabled spots. There are far too many people who rely on these to just live a normal life.

Once, I was in such pain that I couldn’t face the long walk across the car park and had to turn around when some idiot parked across two spaces!

A friend is driving us to the shops. I must have mentioned that I have a parking badge as she goes to park in a disabled bay.

Me: “Wait, what are you doing?”

Friend: “You said you have a pass to park here.”

Me: “Maybe, but I don’t need to use it. Park in a normal spot.”

Friend: *Whining* “But it’s so much closer.”

Me: “I can see a dozen spaces just there.”

Friend: “Well, we are parked now, so I’m not moving.”

She gets out of the car.

Me: “I can’t believe how lazy you are!”

My friend shouts at some random man.

Friend: “Don’t worry, she’s disabled!”

Me: “Don’t say that!”

Friend: “Whatever.”

We finish our shop, apart, and then walk back to the car. I walk right past.

Friend: “Where are you going?”

Me: “Walking home. I’m not going anywhere with you.”

Friend: “Don’t be stupid.”

Me: “I’ve never had anyone use my disability for their own benefit, and I don’t intend to let anyone start now. Don’t call me. I don’t want to talk to you.”

When lockdown started, I was grateful for the distance between us. And I haven’t heard from her since.

Some People Just Aren’t Meant To Deal With Customers

, , , , | Working | July 3, 2021

The municipal waste centre in my town is cramped. There is only space for about four cars to offload waste. I park directly in the entrance because it is the only place I can stop. I start offloading my waste.

A worker comes up and says something incoherent about parking. I ignore him. There are several people unloading and chaotically parked.

Worker #1: “You’re blocking other cars!”

Again, he isn’t looking at anyone in particular. He’s just shouting across a busy depot, where no-one is parked properly.

Me: “Who?”

Worker #1: “You!”

By now, the three cars in front of me have vacated the car park. I move my car forward and park as best I can. I approach him.

Me: “May I help you?”

Worker #1: “You can’t stop in the entrance like that!”

Me: “Where would you have preferred I go? It was taking me one minute to offload, and I moved forward as soon as the car in front did.”

Worker #1: “You don’t park there, all right?”

He sighs heavily like he is dealing with a spoilt child. I have had it with his attitude.

Me: “Are you the boss here?”

Worker #1: “Yes.”

Me: “Have you a higher-up I could have a word with?”

Worker #1: “I am the boss!”

Me: “Doesn’t answer my question, mate.”

Worker: “[Town five miles away, where the main depot is located].”

Me: “Have you a name of someone I can speak to?”

He wordlessly marches into his tiny office, writes something down, and hands me a piece of paper. He then pushes past me out of the office. He’s given me a name and telephone number, which I call. There is no answer.

I decide it is worth driving five miles to [Town] to complain. Staff at [Site #1] work alone, so they need to be excellent at dealing with people, including those far more difficult than me. [Town] has a much bigger depot with lots of staff.

Me: “Hey, is there a manager I could speak to for two minutes?”

Worker #2: “Sure, what’s it about?”

Me: “One of your colleagues was less than diplomatic with me.”

Worker #2: *On radio* “Hey, boss, a fella here says one of us was rude. Are you available?” *To me* “He’ll be out now.”

A man in a suit appears.

Boss: “How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name]. You might need to talk to the bloke on shift today at [Site #1]. Doesn’t respect personal space, he’s been impolite, can’t understand another’s perspective…”

Boss: “Why? What happened?”

I recall the story.

Me: “You can’t expect to shout across seven people like that and be understood. He’s also got to understand that people will get different ideas about where to park. That depot is very cramped and busy. I imagine staff here might get away with that attitude, sometimes. At least they have backup. To work by yourself, you need far better interpersonal skills than he showed to me.”

Boss: “I’m sorry for how he spoke to you, and thank you for coming all the way out here to raise that with us. Do you have the slip of paper he wrote on?”

Me: “Yes, here you go.”

Boss: *Reading* “[Worker #3]? You asked for his manager’s name and he wrote this down?”

Me: “Yes?”

Boss: “You’re kidding.”

Me: “No?”

Boss: “[Worker #3] isn’t his manager; I am his manager! That’s just another worker!”