The Education That Time Forgot, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | August 24, 2020

I work at a state park where we have some rather large grindstones/kettlestones set up around our visitor center. I get this question almost every day from seventy-year-old elderly folks, to forty-year-old parents, to five-year-old children, even though we have giant posters explaining that they are very round rocks that helped carve out our potholes/kettleholes years ago.

Customer: “Is that a dinosaur egg?”

Me: “What? Uh… no. No, it’s not.”

The Education That Time Forgot

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Being A Jerk Is In Her Nature

, , , , , | Friendly | August 23, 2020

There is a nature preserve near my house with a path all around a lake and a floating bridge across one section of it. For a long time, it was made of wood, but in the past few years, it has been replaced with a man-made material. It is constructed of many separate sections to accommodate for shifts in water level, with ramped metal connections in between.

One day, when I’m walking the loop, I decide to take a picture of a duck that is standing no more than two feet from me, completely chill with my presence. I hear someone approaching on the bridge — the connectors unfortunately make a lot of noise when stepped on — think nothing of it, and keep snapping away.

Then, the approaching woman addresses me.

Woman: “The kids must love this, huh?”

Me: *Smiling* “Yeah, they—”

The woman SLAMS her foot on the next metal connector.

Woman: “Such a nice sound, isn’t it?”

I just stare at her, shocked, as she walks to the next one.

Woman: “Coming out here to enjoy the nature and—” *SLAM* “—scaring all the birds away!” *SLAM* “It’s just so nice, isn’t it?” *SLAM*

She proceeded to stomp on every single connector for the entire rest of the bridge, raising her knee to hip-height each time for maximum stompage, repeating her complaints to every single group on the bridge, some of which included small children that never made a peep.

Eventually, she rounded a corner behind some brush, but even a hundred feet away, I could still hear her stomping and complaining all the way back to land.

Relieved to know someone was setting such a good example for the next generation as to how they should act in nature, I turned back to my duck. For some reason, she’d flown away. How odd.

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Falling Levels Of Education

, , , , | Right | July 14, 2020

I work in Yosemite and we’re doing construction on the trail to Yosemite Falls. Later in the summer, the Yosemite Falls dry up and I overhear a tourist ask an employee in the uniform.

Tourist: “Will they turn the falls back on as soon as they finish construction?”

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Beating That Excuse To Death

, , , | Working | July 4, 2020

During a chat after work, in the staff room, we suddenly remember an event from a few years ago.

Manager: “If people don’t show up for work, it’s one thing. When such a person comes in again, we’ll talk about it. But lying to get a day off — that’s different. That will get you fired. Or at least, it will stop us from scheduling you.”

Me: “Like the one guy who claimed he had to go to a funeral?”

Manager: “Oh, yes, that one. He told us he had to attend the funeral of his girlfriend’s grandfather… at Second Pentecost Day.”

The Monday after Pentecost is also a holiday in the Netherlands.

Me: “’He even called me that morning, asking if I could cover for him. I was like, ‘Oh, condolences,’ and he answered, ‘Oh, yeah, I’ve known the man for only two weeks.’ I couldn’t cover because I was already working that day, but I was a bit surprised that he had a new girlfriend. And about the date of the funeral.”

Manager: “Yep. We didn’t trust it, so we asked him to send in a copy of the invitation. I looked at it and then I thought, ‘Oh, yes, it’s not that strange that they bury the man on a holiday. I mean, I would do it as soon as possible, since he’s been dead at home for all these months.’ He had photoshopped the date of the funeral but forgot to change the date of death!”

So, that had been the end of that guy’s career with us. However, the manager didn’t even tell the best part of the story. A year later, another coworker pulled exactly the same stunt. Guess what? He was fired, too!

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Off The Leash And Out Of Line

, , , , , , , | Friendly | June 2, 2020

In the north-central part of Calgary, Alberta, there is a large park that is kept as close to natural prairie conditions as possible, the only upgrades being surfaced paths to limit where people can walk. A significant portion of it is designated as an off-leash area. Although we had no dogs at the time, we often walked there.

One day, we were on a path that intersected another path at right angles. On our left on the new trail, walking towards the intersection, were a woman and her dog. The animal was perhaps forty pounds, acting in a non-threatening manner and, of course, not on a lead. On the trail to our right, walking in the opposite direction, was a family of four — two boys, ages between six and ten, a small mom in her forties, and the tall, heavyset father.

When the two parties were perhaps fifteen meters apart, the dad yelled, “Put that dog on a leash!” There was no hint of a request in his voice.

The woman replied, “Sir, this is an off-lead area.”

The father responded, “My little guy is afraid of dogs. Leash him!”

I wanted to ask him why he took his kids there, but decided discretion was the better part of valor. The woman did leash the dog and another bully got rewarded.

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