(I’m playing ‘Pokémon Go’ at one of the most popular Pokémon hunting spots in my city, a few feet away from a man who looks maybe a few years older than me, late 20s. His dog has been freaking out and barking, not listening to him at all.)

Man: “Catching any good Pokémon?”

Me: “Yep!”

Man: “Imagine if you put all the time and effort you put into playing Pokémon into something else. You could be really amazing at that thing.”

Me: *trying to laugh it off, but genuinely upset* “Right!”

Man: *seeing that I’m upset* “Sorry if I’m being mean. I’m mean to everyone. I guess it’s because I come from an era without cell phones.”

Man’s Girlfriend: “Hey, do you have any cigarettes?”

Me: “No.” *keeps walking, thinking* “And even if I did, I definitely wouldn’t give one to you!”

(I thought of so many things to say to him, starting with “Imagine if you put all the time and effort you put into judging what people do in their free time into training your dog. You could have a really amazing dog.” Also, if you know you’re being mean, why say it? Glad I don’t live in an era without cellphones if it meant everyone was mean!)

(Our city has a rather large area full of trails, a botanical garden, museums, and one of the world’s largest sundials. It’s also chock full of Pokéstops and gyms, so I like to go there before it gets too hot and play for a couple hours. I’ve had a great walk and am on my way out when a woman watches me catch my last one for the day. This story takes place on a bridge.)

Woman: “Did you catch a Pikachu?”

Me: *laughing* “No, I caught a Magikarp!”

Woman: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a fish.” *I motion to the river we’re over* “We’re on a river after all.”

Woman: “That makes you a better fisherman than all those guys out there on the boats!”

(I ended up laughing and cheering before heading back to the car. Stuff like this is why I love this game!)

(I go into the staff room for my break. A few colleagues are already there. One of them is known for always being very strange or silly, but always a bit too much. He’s also not holding back on dirty stories or anything.)

Coworker #1: “Yeah, you know, I used to shave my pubes, but since I have a girlfriend I don’t do it anymore.”

(Coworker #2 and the team leader are not really the kind of people who seem interested in such a story. Finally the guy leaves.)

Coworker #2: “I think he just wants a tattoo on his forehead, saying ‘MAN’”.

(My 10-year-old cousin is visiting from the west coast. We’ve walked down the road to a little park with a playground, and she finds another kid to play with while I make small talk with a neighbor. My cousin finds a feather.)

Cousin: “Ooh, ooh! I know what this is! It’s a western blue jay!”

Me: “You mean an eastern blue jay.”

Cousin: “WESTERN.”

Me: “You’re in the Southeast now; you’ve got western blue jays at home, and here we have the eastern blue jay.”

Cousin: “NO! There’s only western blue jays, spotted jays, mockingjays…”

Neighbor: “Mockingjays aren’t real.”

Cousin: “I SAW THEM IN THE MOVIES!”

(I looked it up, and none of the birds she talked about are real, but she makes stuff up constantly so I’m not surprised.)

(I’m on the phone with my dad while on my way to a local park to catch a play. I’ve just told him that the play I’m going to is King Lear.)

Dad: “Oh! That was the first one I ever bought. I liked it so much.”

Me: “I read it before. It’ll be good to see it, though.”

Dad: “Yeah, it’s dense reading.”

Me: “It’s the one with the daughters, right?”

Dad: “I actually can’t remember. It’s been too long since I’ve read it.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that it’s basically Dear As Salt, but with more death.”

Dad: “It’s Shakespeare. Everyone always dies.”

Me: “Not true. Not in the comedies. Nobody dies in Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

Dad: “True. We only wish they would.”