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For Some, Working With Kids Is Snow Problem

, , , , , , | Right | March 22, 2021

My five-year-old is extremely social and has a memory like a steel trap; unfortunately, he does not always realize that other people might not share these same characteristics. We are at an indoor play park that we visit whenever we go see my in-laws.

Son: “Do you remember me?”

Worker: “Sorry?”

Son: “I’m [Son]; I came in over the summer! I played for four hours!”

The worker is struggling for words.

Son: “I love it here! You have so many cool slides and snow drinks!”

Worker: *Playing along* “Oh, of course, I remember you! The boy who loves slides and snow drinks!”

I think nothing of it, the kid plays for several hours, and I get LOTS of reading done for my grad classes. A few hours later, we’re leaving, and the same employee is watching the door.

Worker: “See you next time, [Son]! Hope you liked your snow drink!”

The look on my son’s face was pure magic.

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for March 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for March 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for March 2021!

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I Bust The Windows Out Your Car

, , , , , , , | Friendly | March 15, 2021

There is a waterfront trail near where I live which has a large breakwater along the side of it made from compacted flat stones. The flat stones are a lot of fun to build with and people often build Inukshuks — traditionally indigenous stone people — from the stones.

One night, I am walking along the trail and I see a guy get off his bike and climb onto the breakwater to build an Inukshuk. A few minutes later, a big black truck drives up and parks illegally in front of the breakwater. The truck is huge, freshly washed, and left running the whole time. 

Out hops a skinny guy in a black T-shirt and camo pants. He climbs up on the breakwater and starts kicking over the Inukshuks people have built on it. When he sees the other man building an Inukshuk, [Camo Pants] walks up to him and kicks it over, right as the man is bent over trying to put one of the rocks in place, nearly kicking the other man in the face in the process.

The guy straightens up and looks at camo pants.

Guy: “Hey, man, you just trying to be a d**k?”

Camo Pants: “Yep!”

The guy looks at the large square stone in his hands.

Guy: “Funny. Me, too.”

And the guy threw the large stone as hard as he could through the windshield of [Camo Pants]’s truck, hopped on his bike, and took off.

This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of March 2021 roundup story!

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Live Free Or Twihard

, , , , | Friendly | February 20, 2021

I am sitting on a bench reading a book. As it is old, my mother has made it a plastic cover to protect the original from fading. There’s a group of men on a nearby bench, and one of them has been glaring at me and making comments to his friends that I can’t quite hear. I’m starting to get uncomfortable and decide it is best to leave, but as soon as I close my book, the man gets up and trots up to me.

Man: “Hey, you haven’t been reading that long. What, did something happen to your favorite fairy?”

Me: “My… what?”

Man: “Do you actually think vampires are all shiny and broody like that? God, all you teen girls like the same trash.”

I stare at him, trying to process what is happening, and then it finally hits me. The plastic cover of my book is black, and this guy probably confused it with a rather trashy popular vampire novel. I take my book back out, remove the cover and show it to him.

Me: “Actually, this is a collection of Lovecraft’s works. I also carry Dracula with me, since I am almost done with this one.”

Man: “Oh… um, those are… very good reads… I, um…”

He stuttered all the way back to his bench, where his friends were pretending not to know him. 

For the record, I dislike [Popular Novel] with a passion, but I do not attack people for reading it. Hey, at least they read.

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We Happen To Know Several Boys Who Are VERY Cute

, , , , , , , | Friendly | February 4, 2021

I’m walking through a park and a very sweet puppy comes over to say hello. I don’t pet it in case that isn’t okay with its owner, but I greet it as warmly as I can.

Me: “Hey, cutie!”

The puppy’s owner whirls round to glare at me.

Owner: “He’s a boy, actually!”

The owner stormed off, pulling the poor puppy behind him. I didn’t think puppies had a concept of gender, let alone one so fragile that being called a cutie might threaten one’s masculinity.

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Where Would Jesus Park?

, , , , , , | Right | January 5, 2021

It’s a lovely day and my husband and I decide to just go to the local state park and enjoy the day. While I can walk, I can’t go far, so for good distances, I use a wheelchair and have a legal placard to park in reserved handicap spaces.

We pull into a handicap spot and put up the placard, and I am waiting for my husband to get the wheelchair for me when an SUV pulls into the next spot beside us. I watch as the woman gets out and starts to walk away. Not seeing a placard, I ask my husband:

Me: “Can you see if there’s a handicap tag?”

Husband: “There isn’t.”

I call to her and she walks back.

Me: “Why are you parking in a handicap space without the required tag or card? It’s a $250 fine for doing so, and there are regular spaces not that much further back.”

She points to the Jesus fish on her trunk.

Woman: “That’s all the permission I need.” 

I reported it to the park office and the SUV was gone when we decided to leave. I hope she got a ticket for it. If she did, she probably tried to argue that her Jesus fish protected her and how dare they expect her to pay the fine.

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