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Demure Lemur

| Wales, UK | Pets & Animals, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(I’m a keeper at a local wildlife park. The park has a ‘Lemur Walkthrough,’ where customers can come into the enclosure and get up close with several species of lemur. I’m currently supervising the walkthrough to make sure that the lemurs and visitors are behaving themselves, when a woman comes up to me.)

Me: “Hi there! Is everything all right?”

Customer: “Hi. I just thought I’d let you know that you’ve got a very friendly lemur.”

Me: “Oh? What did they do?”

Customer: “I was just sitting on the bench when one of them came up and tried to undo my dress!”

Me: “Really? I’m so sorry! They can get quite cheeky when they’ve just had their lunch.”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it! There aren’t many people can say that a lemur’s tried to undress them. I’ve certainly got something to remember today by now!”

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Don’t Mess With The Moose

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

(I work for a state park, and we get asked a lot of the same questions every day. Sometimes we hear them enough and we simply respond by making some BS answer and continue leading the customer the wrong way, just so they will stop complaining.)

Customer: “This is my first time ever visiting here and I was wondering, when do the deer turn into moose?”

Me: *having heard this at least five times* “Usually around the end of October through the middle of November.”

Customer: “Could you be more specific on the date?”

Me: “My apologies, but it varies from year to year. Some years are better than others and they turn much quicker, though I have a feeling this is one of those years.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you for the useful information!”

(The man walked away thinking deer turn into moose. My coworkers asked how long I had been thinking of that answer. I made it up as we were talking, hoping he would catch my sarcasm…)

This Will Not Be A Walk In The Park

| The Netherlands | Bizarre, Tourists/Travel

(I’m working as a photographer at a sea-life park, whose big blue dome, where the main dolphin show is held, is its landmark. A lady comes up to me.)

Lady: “Excuse me, but can you tell me how to get in the park?”

Me: *confused* “You’re already in the park.”

Lady: “No, I mean IN the park. Like, inside.”

Me: “Didn’t you just walk through the front gates and paid there? From there on, you’re in the park, on park grounds.”

Lady: “No, in THERE!” *points towards the show dome*

Me: *getting a clue* “Oh, you mean how to get to our show dome? Well, you can’t miss it. The entrance is on this side of the dome. If you just follow the path here, it will lead you straight to it.”

Lady: “Yes, that’s what I meant! How can you think I mean something else? I want to get IN the park!”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re already IN the park. This park contains a lot more than only the main dolphin show.”

Lady: “Wait, there’s more?”

(I still wonder why she thought that high entrance price was only for one show!)

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