This Museum Is A Snore

, , , , | Related | August 11, 2017

(I am really sick when we go on a family vacation to Paris but I want to push it down and go to the Louvre. After walking all over the Louvre for the day I am exhausted but finally we make it to a sign advertising the Mona Lisa down the mile-long hallway. This happens when we got out of the gallery.)

Dad & Sister #1: “We just looked at the other paintings; they were beautiful!”

Mom & Sister #2: “We only got to see the Mona Lisa for a second before another couple shoved us out of the way, but we still got pictures!”

All of Them: “What did you do, [My Name]?”

Me: *blinking blearily* “Well, first I sat on the bench at the front of the gallery and then, I’m pretty sure I fell asleep for half an hour.”

1 Thumbs
255

Scrambling Up The Order

, , | Right | April 2, 2015

Woman: “I want an omelette: no mushrooms, no meat, no onion, no salt, no pepper, and could the eggs be scrambled?”

Waiter: “So, you want scrambled eggs with tomatoes and cheese?”

Woman: “No, I want an omelette.”

 

Did you find this story using our Waitstaff roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

1 Thumbs
852

Reply Back Like An Act Of God

, , , , , | Right | January 6, 2015

(I am working the customer service desk. Due to inclement weather, we have to cancel a flight to a smaller airport, as the plane used to make said flight would not be capable of landing there in a storm. I am dealing with a customer who has just been informed that the plane to which he was transferred, due to a mechanical fault in a previous flight, is cancelled.)

Me: “So, I’m terribly sorry, sir. The best we can do now is rebook you for our earliest flight to [City] tomorrow morning, or start processing a refund to your credit card for this leg of your trip.”

Customer: *sighs* “Well, I need to be in [City] tonight, so I guess I’ll just take the refund.”

Me: “All right, sir. We will start processing your refund immediately, and again, we are terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, would you happen to know how much it costs to take the metro from here to [Main City station]? I guess I’ll be catching a late train.”

Me: “Certainly sir, it’s—”

(Suddenly the lady behind this customer speaks up.)

Woman: “Is that it? You’re not going to get mad? You’re not going to threaten to sue them?”

Customer: “…why would I do that?”

Woman: “They’ve ruined your trip! They took your money and ruined everything anyway!”

Customer: “I highly doubt anyone in Paris is responsible for the storm at [City], and the people working customer service are certainly not responsible for a mechanical fault in the plane.”

Woman: “But they’ve cost you hundreds of euros!”

Customer: “If they refund this leg, then it works out almost even. It’s really not a problem.”

Woman: “What are you talking about, it’s not a problem?! Of course it’s a problem! They should be made to pay! It’s that stupid French laziness where they just don’t want to work and—”

Customer: “Lady, shut the f*** up.”

(The woman chokes on her words as the customer who has been nothing but calm and polite this whole time fixes a glare on her.)

Customer: “I had to get up before six this morning to take a one-hour bus to the airport for a flight that got delayed. I was stuck in THIS airport for hours before finding out that my other flight was cancelled, and now I have to hop the metro to catch a two-hour train to be in [City] hours after I was supposed to arrive. I am tired. I want a shower. I am not in the mood to fight [Airline] over an act of God, and I am definitely not in the mood to listen to you rant and rave like a g****** lunatic about something that is none of your business. Now, kindly f*** off!”

(He turns back to me as the woman stammers incoherently.)

Customer: “Merci pour votre aide. Bonne soiree.” *Thanks for your help. Good evening*

(He gathered up his travel documents and calmly walked off.)


Did you find this story using our Airline Staff roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

Click here to see the next story.

1 Thumbs
4,113

Train Trick-ets

, , | Right | March 4, 2011

(At the ticket booth in a Paris subway station.)

Customer: *in very bad French* “Je voudrais deux billets, s’il vous plaît.”(I would like two tickets, please.)

Me: *taking two tickets from a drawer* “Voilà!” (Here you go.)

Customer: “Voilà? I saw you take them out of the drawer!”

1 Thumbs
2,596