(I am a male customer being waited on by a female employee. An older man, visibly intoxicated, is being noisy, bothers the ladies, and even regularly turns down the lights in the bar. The employees just let him frolic around.)

Me: “Excuse me, miss. Is this man a regular or something?”

Employee: “He’s the manager, sir…”

(The customer arrives very angry at my desk. He nervously holds a memory card in his hand.)

Customer: “I want a new memory card. This one is really bad!”

Me: “What troubles do you have with this one?”

Customer: “It only makes blurry pictures!”

Me: “Well, I guess the problem might be the camera, not the memory card.”

Customer: “Oh, and do you have memory cards in black & white?”

Me: “Or it could be the photographer…”

(At the ticket booth in a Paris subway station.)

Customer: *in very bad French* “Je voudrais deux billets, s’il vous plaît.”(I would like two tickets, please.)

Me: *taking two tickets from a drawer* “Voilà!” (Here you go.)

Customer: “Voilà? I saw you take them out of the drawer!”