(I have four children, from two different relationships. Two older boys are from a previous relationship, who we will call [Dad #1], and the younger girl and boy are from my husband, [Dad #2]. Though all children live with my husband and me, the father of my first two children is still very much involved with the family. This is probably why there is some confusion for the youngest child in the family when we are talking about shared physical traits.)

Me: “You guys all have my cheeks.”

Older Son: “Yeah, but I got my height from [Dad #1].”

Daughter: “And I got my eyes from [Dad #2].”

Dad #2: “Oh, yeah. Unfortunately, both [Daughter and Youngest Son] got my eye sight.”

Youngest Son: “Yeah, but my legs are [Dad #1]’s.”

(Everyone stops and looks at my youngest son.)

Me: “Uh, what?”

Youngest Son: “Yeah, I have [Dad #1]’s legs.”

Dad #2: “Buddy, how can that be, when I’m your dad?”

Youngest Son: “I’m not sure, but I have his legs. Do you think there was some stuff leftover and it passed on to me?”

(The whole family thinks this is hilarious and tries to explain to him why he doesn’t share any genes with [Dad #1]. A couple days later, both [Dad #2] and the youngest son are sitting on the couch in shorts.)

Dad #2: “Son, look at my legs and look at your legs. Whose legs do you have?”

Youngest Son: *looks down and then up* “I hate to say it, Dad, but they’re [Dad #1]’s legs.”

(Now that he’s older, he understands why this isn’t right.)

(It is when mobile phones have first became affordable and most phones are topped-up with credit. I have forgotten to take mine out of my pocket, after going to a friends house the night before. The school has a policy of taking phones from students and putting them in the main office until the end of the day. My phone rings.)

Teacher: “Phone, now!”

(I pass the phone and apologise.)

Teacher: “I might go through your phone credit at lunch just to teach you a lesson.”

(At the end of the day, I collect the phone and find out that all of the credit has been drained. I tell my parents what happened and they talk to the teacher and head teacher about it. Both deny everything.)

Dad: “You owe us over £15 in credit.”

Teacher: “I’m not paying it back. How do I know you didn’t call that number yourself? Prove it was me!”

Dad: “Pay it back and apologise.”

Teacher: “No. I’m right, and your kid should learn some respect; I’m not giving you a penny.”

(At this point, my dad, usually a very gentle person, calmly stands up, picks the teacher’s laptop up off the desk, and throws it against the wall, where it smashes into several pieces.)

Teacher: “What the…?”

Dad: “Let’s call it even.”

Teacher: “You’re gonna pay for that computer, or I’m taking you to court.”

Dad: “Prove it was me.”

(I’m at a fairly popular art store, looking for more paints, when I hear this conversation from behind a shelf:)

Mother: “Go put the paints on the counter and ask to put them on hold. It’s fine; people do it all the time.”

Teenager: “Mom, couldn’t you just hold two of them? I’m carrying everything, and you’re just holding your purse.”

(I slowly turn the corner and pretend to look at more paints while eyeing this mother, and this obviously uncomfortable teenager holding five tubes of paint and two bags.)

Mother: “Don’t use that attitude! I’m going to count to ten, and then if you haven’t put the paints on the counter, I’m going to make a scene, because you’re being ridiculous!”

Teenager: “Yeah, and you’re being childish.”

(The teen storms away to put the paints on the counter, and the cashier gives her a sympathetic glance, as the girl is very obviously shy. The mom sees me and whispers under her breath:)

Mother: “Can you believe teens these days? Always disrespectful and rude!”

(I just grimaced. What bad parenting. I feel bad for that kid.)

(It’s a lab period for one of my biology classes, and my lab group is paired with the lab group next to us. I’m getting the apparatus set up and chatting with one of the women from the other lab group when the topic of health care and vaccinations comes up. Two things worth noting: the first is that the woman, who I’ll call Student 1, is from a culture that encourages large families, and already has six kids. The other is that I’m on the autism spectrum. Mostly, this just means that I have trouble maintaining eye contact with people I don’t know well, I can be awkward in social situations I’m not familiar with, and I have a few hobbies and habits that other people might find odd.)

Student #1: “Yeah, none of my kids are vaccinated. It’s not worth the risk that it might make them autistic. That would be just horrible!”

(I freeze, take a deep breath, and get my thoughts in order.)

Me: “There’s three problems with what you just said. The first is that if your kids aren’t vaccinated, there’s a good chance that they’ll catch something awful and preventable, like measles, and they will die. The second problem is that there is ABSOLUTELY no link between autism and vaccines; it’s fake science and bad statistics. The third problem is that being autistic is not the end of the world. I’m autistic, and I have a loving boyfriend, a close group of friends, and a 4.0 GPA; I just can’t look people in the eyes for long. Autism won’t kill your kids, but measles might.”

Student #1: “You’re autistic?! But… you’re talking, and you’re at college, and you have a job!”

Me: “Yeah. Being autistic isn’t the end of the world. Being dead is, though.”

(By this time, one of my friends, [Student #2], has noticed what we’re talking about, and jumps in to help me persuade her that vaccinating her kids is important. We get so caught up talking that we don’t notice the professor coming over.)

Professor: “Less chat, more lab, you guys.”

Student #2: “But ([Student #1] hasn’t gotten her kids vaccinated because it might make them autistic.”

(The professor pauses, and I remember him mentioning that one of his cousins is autistic and working as a very successful chef.)

Professor: “Okay. Tell you what. All three of you guys helped set up the experiment, right? Get the data from your lab-mates, and make sure you get the write-up turned in on time, and I won’t notice you talking this lab period.”

(For the next hour, [Student #2] and I grab his laptop and talk [Student #1] through the concept of herd immunization, how epidemics spread, how the autism/vaccine rumor got started, how the statistics don’t back that up, what autism actually IS and what it isn’t, and story after story about how dangerous it is, both for the children and the people around them, when kids aren’t inoculated against diseases that shouldn’t exist anymore. We make sure that she has time to ask us any questions as well, and finish in time to get our results and start on the lab write-up. I see her after the semester has ended, about six months later.)

Student #1: “Hey! [My Name]! My husband and I talked it over, and we made appointments to get all of our kids vaccinated!”

(It turns out she still was not totally convinced that there’s no link between autism and vaccines, but she thought it was worth the risk to make sure her kids don’t die of scarlet fever or some other archaic disease. I high-fived her anyway. I’ll take the victories I can get, and at least her kids are vaccinated now. Still a step in the right direction!)

This story is part of our Autism roundup!

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(I’m 16 years old and I am am getting in the car with my dad, to leave my basketball game.)

Dad: “Hey. I have a headache, and we’re just going to go straight home. Is that okay?”

Me: “Okay.”

(We drive past his favorite fast food place.)

Me: “Hey, we should get some.”

(The car literally screeches into the parking lot and my life flashes in front of my eyes.)

Dad: “For my headache.”