(I am in a group chat with my aunt who resides in Australia with her family, my mum, and my grandmother, who used to be a nurse back in the day. We are all close and have a great sense of humour. All this happens over text. My aunt has just told us her two sons are sick with Influenza B, and recounted an amusing story, during which her younger son was acting up due to his sickness, and his older brother whispered, “So much drama.” )
Grandma: “I would love to have been there to witness all that!”
Mum: “I’m bleeding to death. My period is so heavy. Do you want to witness that, too, Mum?!”
Grandma: “You think I’m crazy?!”
Mum: “Why are you playing favourites? Why is drama cute when [Aunt’s Youngest Son] does it, but not me?”
Grandma: “Because one is a kid, and one is a matured lady, I hope!”
Mum: “I’m still bleeding to death, just in case you decide to care!”
(As this is going on, I’m quickly searching up some information online and find what I need.)
Me: “You’re losing five pints of blood?”
Mum: *eye roll emoticon* “Maybe four.”
Me: “You mean 1892 ml of blood? When the average heavy flow is 65 ml?”
Mum: “Yup.”
Me: “Twenty times more than the normal ‘unusually heavy’ flow?”
Grandma: “Just drink lots of fluid to maintain the body volume.”
Mum: *sighs* “Don’t see you telling [Aunt’s Youngest Son] to drink lots of fluids!”
Me: *copying a comment from earlier in the chat* “‘Hope the boys get well soon. Make sure they drink enough.’ Actually, she did.”
Grandma: “Ignore your sister, [Aunt]. She’s just being silly.”
Mum: “Dying is not being silly!”
Grandma: “Yes, it is, when it’s merely lip service.”
Read the next Pun roundup story!
