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Another Repressed Memory

, , , | Right | December 11, 2008

(I have a flat-screen TV near my workplace that was showing a recent cartoon on DVD: “Tinkerbell”. A customer comes by with her toddler daughter in the cart, and watches a bit of the movie with the child.)

Customer: “Aw, that’s cute! What movie is that?”

Me: “It’s Tinkerbell“.

Customer: “My little girl likes that one. How much is it?”

Me: “It’s new, so it should be around 15 to 20 dollars.”

Customer: “15 to 20 dollars?! That’s almost all of my beer money!”

But Daddy, I Don’t Wanna Be An Ad Executive

, , , , | Right | October 29, 2008

Me: “Hello, [My Name], [Office]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. Yeah, I’m coming into New York next week and I was wondering if you could watch my kid for a while.”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Caller: “I googled ‘entertainment’ and ‘New York’ and your name came up. I saw that you do stuff with [Children’s TV Channel]. Where are you guys? Can I just drop her off?”

Me: “Sir, this is an office. We handle transmedia needs for companies like [Children’s TV Channel] that want to expand awareness of their media into other formats.”

Caller: “Oh, is that good for kids?”

Parental Gui-dunce

, , | Right | October 26, 2008

(I’m working at a movie theatre when a woman and her son who looks about eight storms outside and up to me at the box office.)

Customer: “I demand my money back for our movie!”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Because it’s been within the first thirty minutes I can refund you the full price. What movie was it that you went to see?”

Customer:Sin City!”

Me: *begins to refund the two tickets*

Customer: “You know, this is ridiculous. You should have told me that this movie was inappropriate for my child. There’s not even a notice anywhere telling me this!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “How on earth was I supposed to know that this movie is inappropriate? You really should have told me!”

Me: “Are you serious? The movie is rated 18A, the poster right in front of you has a half-naked lady dancing, AND it’s called SIN City! Did you expect it to be about bunnies and rainbows?”

Customer: *grabs her money and storms off with her son*

Guess He Couldn’t Beat The Final Boss Beagle

, , , , | Right | October 19, 2008

Customer: “I need to return this game. It’s too hard for my son.”

Employee: “Well, miss, according to your reciept, you bought this new. So, all you can do is get another copy of the same thing if it’s defective.”

Customer: “Who the h*** are you? I’ve never seen you before!”

Employee: “I’ve been here for close to a year…”

Customer: “I’ve been coming here for a long time and I’ve never seen you!”

Employee: “Well, be that as it may, you cannot return the game. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “F*** you!”

Me: “Miss, I am the store manager here and what my associate is telling you is true; you cannot return the game and you need to leave. I will not tolerate you insulting my employees.”

Customer: “Make me leave! See what happens!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just call security. Will that do it for you?”

Customer: “Call security! I’ll call the cops!”

Me: “Be my guest… That’d be awesome.”

Customer: “I’m the store manager of [Store] across the street and I’d never treat a customer this way!”

Me: “Would you break return policy just because someone is yelling?”

Customer: *leaves in a huff*

Me: *to employee* “What game was it, anyway?”

Employee: “…Nintendogs.”

Ah, Mothers

, , , , , , | Right | September 23, 2008

(A mother and her teenage son come through my line…)

Me: “Hello, did you find everything you need?”

Mother: “Yes, we did.”

(I notice she is buying party items, including cups, soda, pizzas, napkins… and condoms.)

Me: “Oh, are you having a party soon?”

Mother: *nods* “My little [Son] is growing up. He’s going to have an orgy with all his little friends, aren’t you Captain Muffinpants?”

Me: *suppresses laughter* “Will that be all?”

Son: “YES! YES, THAT WILL BE ALL!” *runs to car*