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Perhaps The Wolves Are Still Available To Babysit Tonight…

, , , | Right | March 23, 2009

Customer: *with child in tow* “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “Yes, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “There’s no one in your children’s department.”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “There’s usually one of you people in the kids’ department.”

Me: “Yes, our lead children’s zoning person called out today.”

Customer: “Well, then, just who is supposed to watch the children?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, what do you mean?”

Customer: “Who’s going to watch the children? I leave my little girl over there while I shop, and I expect someone to watch her.”

Me: “…”

Customer: In your children’s department. The DAYCARE.”

Me: “Ma’am… we don’t have a daycare.”

Customer: “…” *walks away*

I Sense Another Frivolous Lawsuit, Part 2

, , , | Right | March 23, 2009

(My checkout is right at the top of the escalators, with four kids ranging in age from about 7-13 were playing on them.)

Me: “Guys, please don’t play on the escalators, you could get hurt.”

(The kids go away for all of a minute, then return.)

Me: “I asked you to please stop playing on the escalator.”

(A woman emerges from a display a few yards away.)

Customer: “Don’t tell my kids what to do!”

Me: “Ma’am, then please keep them away from the escalators, it’s dangerous.”

Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do!”

(Just then, one of her little kids falls down the escalator.)

Me: “You were saying, ma’am?”

Customer: *storms off*

Getting Your Priorities Straight, Part 2

, , , , | Right | March 17, 2009

(A customer comes in with four very young kids.)

Customer: “Does [R-rated Police Drama] have any nudity in it?”

Me: “No, but it’s incredibly violent.”

Customer: “…but there’s no sex or nudity, right?”

Me: “No, it’s just really violent and bloody.”

Customer: “I’ll have one adult and four kids, please!”

Misery Loves, Demands And Harasses Company

, , , , | Right | March 16, 2009

(A woman approaches the check-out, hauling her two kids with her.)

Customer: “Ugh! Don’t ever have kids; they ruin your life!”

Me: “Um, well, I don’t really plan to…”

Customer: “What?! Why not?”

Me: “Um… I don’t know; I guess I don’t want any…”

Customer: “What?! How old are you?”

Me: “Twenty-three.”

Customer: “What if you have an accident? Then you’ll HAVE to have them!”

Bad Parenting: Seeing Is Believing

, , , , , | Right | March 10, 2009

(I was working the box office when a woman with two young children came up to the window.)

Customer: “One adult and two children for ‘Scary Movie.'”

Me: “Ma’am, I should warn you – this movie really isn’t appropriate for little children. May I suggest another film?”

Customer: “What? Come on, it’s a comedy! It’ll be fine!”

Me: “It’s rated ‘R’. It’s pretty much nothing but sex, nudity, and violence. It’s really not for kids.”

Customer: “I’ll decide what is and isn’t appropriate for my kids to watch! Now sell me the tickets!”

(I sell her the tickets. Five minutes into the movie, the woman comes storming back out with her kids in tow.)

Customer: “You didn’t tell me it was THAT bad!”


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