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*Prays For Baby*

, , , | Right | September 18, 2008

(I work at a company that sells parts over the phone. Customers need to get us a model number so we can help them find parts.)

Me: “The model number will be located right on the back of the TV.”

Customer: “I can’t see the back of the TV.”

Me: “Well, can you turn the TV around?”

Customer: “No, I can’t turn the TV around! It might fall on the baby!”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Customer: “Ugh, the baby is under the TV! If I turn it, it might fall on the baby!”

Me: “Well, can you move the baby?”

Customer: “Ugh, fine, I guess!”

(She got her part and the baby survived the exchange.)

I’m Sorry… That You And Your Son Are Idiots

, , , , | Right | September 17, 2008

(The night before, I called the police because of a hit and run in the parking lot of my hotel. The cops put some kid in handcuffs because of a tip I gave them. The next night, the kid’s mother found me.)

Mom: “Hey! You’re the girl, [My Name], that was working last night!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am.”

Mom: “You know that the cops put handcuffs on my 16-year-old son?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I was here for that.”

Mom: “The police told me a girl named [My Name] told them my son wrecked that car last night. I want to know why you told them that.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, your son was down here talking about the car accident he was involved in last night.”

Mom: “But the cops put him in handcuffs!”

Me: “…”

Mom: “My son is only 16 years old, and they put him in handcuffs and didn’t even tell me!”

Me: “Well, what would you like me to do about that?”

Mom: “I want you to apologize.”

Me: “For what?”

Mom: “For calling to police and getting my son handcuffed!”

Me: “You want me to apologize for reporting a crime?”

Mom: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, I’m not sorry.”

Mom: “But the police put him in handcuffs!”

Me: “Sounds like you have a problem with the police.”

Mom: “Listen here, b****, I’m not leaving until you say you’re sorry!”

Me: “You might be a while, ma’am, because I’m not sorry!”

Foldering The Blame

, , , , | Right | September 16, 2008

Customer: “Excuse me, where are the red pocket folders? I don’t see them here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we are all sold out of that color.”

Customer: “Well, my son HAS to have one for his class.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we are all sold out. We may have more on Saturday.”

Customer: “What do you mean by ‘may have’? Don’t you know?”

Me: “Well, they come to us in assorted colors. We don’t have a choice of what we receive.”

Customer: “My son has been getting an ‘F’ every day from his teacher for the past week! He will keep getting an ‘F’ until he brings one in!”

Me: “Have you tried the office supply store across the street?”

Customer: “Is this how you treat your customers? It will be YOUR fault when he flunks out for this!”

This story is part of the Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup!

Read the next Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup story!

Read the Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup!

How Many Ways Can You Say Woof

, , , , | Right | September 14, 2008

Customer: “Hi, do you work here?”

Me: “Yeah, can I help you?”

Customer: “My son is in the hospital because of a car accident, and I want to get him a sympathy card.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that; the sympathy cards are right over here.”

(The customer goes through the cards for a few minutes, and then comes back to find me at the counter.)

Customer: “I found a card for him from me, but I also need one from his dog.”

Me: “His… dog?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to send him a card from his dog to show him that he cares.”

Me: “I don’t think we carry sympathy cards from pets. But, we do have blank cards with pictures of dogs on them that you can use.”

Customer: “No! It has to be a SYMPATHY CARD!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we just don’t sell that card.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I saw one like it just a few weeks ago! I want to see your manager!”

Manager: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “YES! I need a sympathy card for my son from his dog!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t carry that type of card.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I saw it here a few weeks ago!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we’ve never sold that type of card here before. You could fill out a blank card if you like? They’re pretty cheap, and some have pictures of dogs on them.”

Customer: “Uggghhh!” *throws hands up in the air*

It’s Always The One You Least Suspect

, , , | Right | September 6, 2008

(My job at the theme park is to explain the rules at certain rides.)

Mom: “Who told you you couldn’t ride, sweetie?”

Kid: *points at me*

Mom: “Why did you send my kid back down to me?!”

Me: “Sorry, he’s too short for this ride, but you guys are more than welcome to play in the other areas.”

Mom: *points at another kid* “But he is WAY shorter than my son!”

Me: “No, sorry. I measure every child and he made the minimum height.”

Mom: “That’s ridiculous. Can’t my son go just once? He’s waited all day to play over here.”

Me: “No, sorry…”

Mom: “You’re just a prude.”

Me: “I probably get more than you do.”

Mom: *jaw drops*