Unfiltered Story #123675

, , , | Unfiltered | October 18, 2018

(I’m a customer. I’m with my mother in a bakery waiting for my aunt so we can all go visit my grandmother. We’re picking out things we want. There’s a very interesting donut in the case that I’ve already picked, and one of the other customers points it out to his friend.)

Customer 1: Hey, check this out, they’ve got a maple bacon donut! *joking* You want one?

Customer 2: Oh, man, that looks really weird – but I think I’ve got a line.

Me: Well, I’m getting that one, because I don’t!

(The two guys laugh, and hold the door open for us when we leave. The donut was, in fact, really weird!)

The Lazy Arm Of The Law

, , , , , | Legal | May 27, 2018

(While we are filing our 2016 income tax returns, our accountant discovers that someone stole my Social Security Number and attempted to file this return. It is one of the rare times I am glad we were not expecting a tax refund. Our accountant suggests we complete the following three steps. One, file an identity theft alert with the Internal Revenue Service; two, sign up for fraud and theft alert with the three national credit monitoring companies; and three, file a police report. Steps #1 and #2 are easily completed; then, we have this experience with Step #3:)

Police Officer: “Hello, you have reached the non-emergency phone number. What is your concern or problem?”

Me: “We’ve just found out that someone tried to file a tax return under my SSN, and our accountant suggested we file a police report.”

Police Officer: *long sigh* “Well, you can just call 911 and request a police officer to do it at your home.”

Me: “I just want to make sure I heard correctly. You’re suggesting I call 911 to file this identity-theft claim? But I though 911 was just for emergencies.”

Police Officer: “Yes, it is for emergencies. If you felt this concern was an emergency, this is a quicker way to file this type of police report.”

Me: “No, it is not an emergency; my wallet and purse were not stolen. Someone tried to fraudulently file a tax return with my SSN.”

Police Officer: *another sigh* “Okay, ma’am. You and your husband can come to the police station and file your report there.”

(Somehow, I am not comforted that my local tax dollars would be used to cover the 911 expenses of filing a non-emergency police report!)

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Unfiltered Story #100586

, , | Unfiltered | November 22, 2017

(While we are filing our 2016 income tax returns, our accountant discovers that someone stole my SSN (Social Security Number) and attempted to file this return. It is one of the rare times I am glad we were not expecting a tax refund.

Our accountant suggests we complete the following three steps: 1.) file an identity theft alert with the Internal Revenue Service; 2.) sign up for fraud and theft alert with the three national credit monitoring companies; and 3.) file a police report. Steps #1 and #2 were easily completed; then, we had this experience with Step #3: )

Police Officer: “Hello, you have reached the non-emergency phone number. What is your concern or problem?”

Me: “We’ve just found out that someone tried to file a tax return under my SSN, and our accountant suggested we file a police report.”

Police Officer: (long sigh) “Well, you can just call 911 and request a police officer to do it at your home.”

Me: “I just want to make sure I heard correctly. You’re suggesting I call 911 to file this identity-theft claim? But I though 911 was just for emergencies.”

Police Officer: “Yes, it is for emergencies. If you felt this concern was an emergency, this is a quicker way to file this type of police report.”

Me: “No, it is not an emergency; my wallet and purse were not stolen. Someone tried to fraudulently file a tax return with my SSN.”

Police Officer: (another sigh) “Okay, ma’am. You and your husband can come to the police station and file your report there.”

(Somehow, I am not comforted that my local tax dollars would be used to cover the 911 expenses–of filing a non-emergency police report!)

Dollars To Donuts: You’re Awesome

, , , , | Hopeless | September 28, 2017

(We have a late day at work, so I decide to go in early and splurge at a well-known donut establishment for breakfast. I pull into the drive-thru and everything goes well, until I get to the window. Note: I spoke with a woman at the drive-thru; there’s a gent at the window, who is, I assume, some kind of manager.)

Employee: “Miss! I’m very sorry, but we’re out of the breaded chicken until tomorrow. We have the same thing with ham or turkey.”

Me: “Oh, lame. Okay. Turkey?”

Employee: “Right. Do you want that with ranch or rancho-mayo?”

Me: “Um.”

Employee: “Rancho is basically just spicy.”

Me: “Yeah, sure; let’s go with that.”

Employee: “Okay, great. And here. Let me buy you a donut.”

Me: “Wait; what?”

Employee: “It’s no problem, miss! I hate being out of things. What kind do you like?”

Me: “Dude! Um. I dunno; pick something?” *I’m trying not to laugh as this guy is practically doing flips for me!*

Employee: “Well, we’re kind of known for donuts. I mean, we’ve got a bunch. How about… vanilla or chocolate?”

Me: *actually laughing now* “Chocolate!”

Employee: “There we go!” *leaves for a second, comes back* “Here: chocolate sprinkles. I’ll get the coffee and the sandwich.”

Me: “That wasn’t necessary!”

Employee: “Don’t worry about it! Here’s the coffee. And… here’s the sandwich! You have a great weekend!”

Me: “You, too! Thanks so much!”

(I really wanted to tell him he was wearing an awesome hat, the bright neon colors of the company, but as they were running around I didn’t want to bother them. Thanks so much, dude! The donut made an amazing snack! It wasn’t necessary, but it made my day so much better.)

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