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The Tech Knows Which Cable Channel You Want Restored

, , , , , , | Right | October 8, 2020

I am waiting on hold for technical support for a cable TV/Internet outage. While I’m on hold, my girlfriend and I start talking about horror movies.

Girlfriend: “Who does the killer actually kill in all of these movies?”

Me: “Usually promiscuous teenage girls and—” *phone picks up* “—horny teenage boys.”

Tech: *Nervously* “Thank you for calling tech support; how may I help you?”

My eyes go wide as soon as I realize what happened, and then I just break out laughing.

Me: “These are the things we talk about when the cable’s out.”

Soberly Pursuing His Goal

, , , , , , , | Friendly | September 26, 2020

I’m sitting in my room with the windows open to enjoy the fresh air. Two painters are working right outside my window, so I can hear their conversation perfectly. I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but this gets my attention:

Worker #1: “I’ve been trying really hard to get sober lately. I’ve been sober thirty days, but my son won’t give me a hug. He says, ‘When you give me a year of sobriety, I’ll give you a hug.’ I’m making d*** sure I get that hug, man. D*** sure.”

Worker #2: “Right on, man. That’s amazing.”

I started to tear up hearing that. I really hope he finds the strength to remain sober and get that hug.

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for September 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for September 2020!

Their Listening Is Scrambled

, , , , , , | Right | July 15, 2020

I’m in the outdoor dining area of a busy cafe when I overhear this:

Customer: “I’ll have eggs, please.”

Waiter: “Poached, scrambled, or fried?”

Customer: *Instantly defensive and angry* “No, I SAID EGGS!”

Waiter: *Without blinking an eye* “Poached, scrambled, or fried?”

Thankfully, the customer’s friends all burst out laughing at him, and he seemed to realise how rude he was to assume the server was trying to up-sell him anything.

Once You Go Black, You Never Go Medium

, , , , | Right | July 8, 2020

I’m eating my dinner at a rest stop when I overhear this exchange.

Cashier: “What size would you like your iced coffee?”

Customer: “Black.”

I Swear, The Mouths On These Employees…

, , , , , | Working | June 24, 2020

I’m shopping at a twenty-four-hour grocery store pretty late at night. I’m browsing the aisles when I overhear this gem.

Customer: “Excuse me, are you in charge here?! That employee over there just swore at me!”

Employee: “The f*** did that b**** say now?!”