Moody Foodie

| Romantic | February 22, 2012

(There is a festival on for the weekend. My boyfriend and I go, after spending quite a lot on food.)

Me: “We only spent $30.00 today!”

Him: “I’m so broke. I spend so much every time I’m with you.”

Me: “How often are you out with me!?”

Him: “ENOUGH!”

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Always Telling The Tooth

, | Romantic | February 21, 2012

Boyfriend: “You know, your teeth are really cute sometimes.”

Me: *completely confused* “How, exactly?”

Boyfriend: “They’re like a squirrel’s teeth. Or a bunny rabbit! You’d look funny eating a carrot!”

Me: “Was that meant to be a compliment?”

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Re-Dressing The Problem

| Related | February 14, 2012

(I am walking with my sister down the street. We’re just about to go inside the house when a friendly elderly woman says hello to us. Note: I am a guy.)

Lady: *shouting* “Good morning, ladies! You both look beautiful today!”

Me: “Thank you!”

*long pause*

Me: “Did she just call me a lady?!”

(My sister starts cracking up.)

Me: “Shut up and get in the house!”

Sister: “You first, beautiful!”

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A Jedi Shall Not Know Love, A Sith Shall Know Even Less

| Romantic | January 24, 2012

(I overhear two members of our Star Wars costume group. We only ever dress up as the bad guys from the movies.)

Her: “Hey. Uh…I noticed you’re doing your best to pick up Sally?”

Him: “Yeah, she’s pretty cute.”

Her: “You do realise she bats for the other team, right?”

Him: “You mean, she’s a Jedi?”

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Strangeness Is Engaging

| Romantic | January 14, 2012

(I intend to propose to my rather strange girlfriend. I take her up to a park that overlooks the city. It’s night-time, so the city lights are rather attractive from where we are. We look out over them.)

Me: *nervously* “Honey, I have something I want to say.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, I thought as much. What did you do this time?”

Me: “I…what?”

Girlfriend: “You only ever take me places when you’re trying to make up for something you did wrong. What is it today?”

Me: “No, no! It’s nothing like that!”

Girlfriend: “Sure it isn’t. This is the part where you try and rationalize what you’ve done and turn it into a good thing. We’ve been together four years now, dear. I know you too well.”

Me: “Listen, will you just hear me out?”

Girlfriend: “Yes, okay. Fine. What is it?”

(I launch into a little speech that I’d prepared, mood dampened slightly by what had just happened. At the end, I get down on one knee.)

Me: “Will you marry me?”

Girlfriend: *instantly* “Yes! Of course, yes!”

(I put on her ring, and we hug. She’s in tears. It’s at this point that she whispers something in my ear.)

Girlfriend: “It was bad news after all…”

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