Lovebites

| Romantic | June 11, 2012

(My boyfriend and I at a campground. It’s twilight, and we are sitting outside. There are mosquitoes
everywhere at this time of the year.)

Me: “Ah!”

Boyfriend: *shouting* “Did you get bit?”

Me: “Yes. Oh, the agony.”

Boyfriend:I will hunt down every single mosquito on this earth until I find the one who did this to you!”

Neighboring male camper, two lots over: “He’s a keeper!”

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The Ultimate Pick-Me-Up

| Romantic | May 26, 2012

(I am out for a walk with my boyfriend, near my mum’s house. He suggests we have a look around the church that my parents got married in. Having had a quick look round we are about to leave and I turn around, to see him on one knee.)

Boyfriend: *holding out closed box* “Will you marry me?”

Me: *incomprehensible shrieking*

Boyfriend: “I take it that’s a yes?”

Me: “Yes, of course!”

(He opens the ring box, only to find he’s been holding it upside down. The ring falls out and rolls away. I find it, pick it up and put it on.)

Boyfriend: “When we tell people how romantic this was, can we leave that bit out?”

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A Rehearsal Reversal

, | Romantic | May 19, 2012

(My uncle, the baby in his family, is finally getting married. The whole thing takes place on Orcas Island, which meant we all had to take ferries over from the mainland. My grandmother, his mother, is notoriously bad at finding the right train/bus/boat to get her wherever she needs to go, and sure enough, she lets on the wrong ferry and now has to take a much later one. As a result, she is missing the rehearsal dinner.)

Dinner Guest: “Where’s [Uncle]? Cold feet already?”

Bride: “He had to go pick up his mom from the ferry. There was some confusion about the ferry schedule, I think, but they should be back soon.”

Dinner Guest: “Well, I don’t know if I’d want to marry a man who missed his own rehearsal dinner. Aren’t you upset about it?”

Bride: “Why would I want to marry a man who WOULDN’T skip a party to go pick up his mother? If he hadn’t gone, I would have. So, no, I’m not upset to be marrying a wonderful, family oriented man!”

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In-Tents Fire

| Related | May 17, 2012

(My brother was camping with some friends for a week. He is meeting our parents and I to finish up the camping trip together. When he arrives, his leg is heavily bandaged. We’re hanging out by the fire while our parents are on the phone with the doctor.)

Me: “What the heck did you do?”

Brother: “Eh… me and [friend] got crazy drunk and decided to play burning-sticks-sword-fighting.”

Me: “You, are an idiot.”

Brother: “Yeah. That’s why I told Mom and Dad I tripped and fell into the fire…”

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You Had Me At Edo

| Romantic | May 7, 2012

(I’m on a first date with a guy and he takes me to a festival in Japan-town. We’re watching the parade, kinda smushed together in the crowd. He leans down to whisper what I think will be something romantic in my ear.)

Him: “You know, according to their armor color, those samurai should be fighting to the death.”

(Seven years later, we’re married with two kids. I still maintain the samurai comment is when I fell in love with him.)

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