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Married To A Total Cow

| Related | March 9, 2012

(I am father to a three-year-old daughter. My daughter, wife and I have just finished spending a day at a small city farm where children can interact with farm animals.)

Me: “So, sweetie…what was your favorite animal at the farm today?”

Daughter: “Mummy!”

This Couple Rocks

| Romantic | March 2, 2012

(I am waiting at the bus stop for my bus, and talking to my fiancé on the phone.)

Fiancé: “That was a good one!”

Me: “Of course it was! I said it!”

Fiancé: “Well, you are pretty sharp, like a…”

(His pause lasts for about 10 seconds before I decide to help him out.)

Me: “…a knife?”

Fiancé: *immediately after* “A rock!”

Me: “A rock?!”

Fiancé: “A knife!” *few seconds pause* “I don’t know where rock came from. I said knife right after!”

Me: “I said it first! And isn’t the saying that someone is a dull as a rock?”

Better Than Being Dragged To A Cave

| Romantic | February 26, 2012

(My boyfriend and I are at a hockey game. He hands me a misshapen shelled peanut.)

Me: “Aw thanks. Wait, did you just give me this one because it’s a mutant?”

Him: “No, but I am following my primate instincts. I’m trying to mate with you, so I’m winning you over with peanuts.”

Moody Foodie

| Romantic | February 22, 2012

(There is a festival on for the weekend. My boyfriend and I go, after spending quite a lot on food.)

Me: “We only spent $30.00 today!”

Him: “I’m so broke. I spend so much every time I’m with you.”

Me: “How often are you out with me!?”

Him: “ENOUGH!”

Always Telling The Tooth

, | Romantic | February 21, 2012

Boyfriend: “You know, your teeth are really cute sometimes.”

Me: *completely confused* “How, exactly?”

Boyfriend: “They’re like a squirrel’s teeth. Or a bunny rabbit! You’d look funny eating a carrot!”

Me: “Was that meant to be a compliment?”