(I am male, with glasses. I also have very long eyelashes, prompting many women to comment to me on them. This one is the weirdest so far.)

Random Woman: *walks up to me* “You have nice long, luscious eyelashes.”

Me: “Uh… thanks, ma’am.”

Random Woman: “I could kill for eyelashes like those…”

Me: “Umm… that’s… nice?”

Random Woman: “It’s a shame with those glasses though. They would get mighty uncomfortable. I could take your eyelashes for you…” *reaches for eyelashes*

Me: *creeped out* “Uh, I got to go…” *flees*

(I’m at a massive family reunion and taking a moment to enjoy the peace and calm by the lake away from the social whirl. I’m approached by three kids who are holding their hands behind their backs.)

Kid #1: “Hi! Um, are you carrying a cell phone, or anything like that?”

Me: “…yes.”

Kid #2: “Could you maybe, like, put it down for a minute or two?”

Me: “No. But, you see the big guy up there?” *points back at the cabin* “That’s my cousin, [Cousin], and he would LOVE it if you threw some water balloons at him.”

Kids: “Okay!”

(Two of them run off. The oldest one looks at me.)

Kid #3: “How did you know we had water balloons?”

Me: “I was a kid at these kinds of family things at one time, too. Ask [Cousin] about it when he dries off.”

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(My boyfriend and I have just spent the day together. We’re going up the escalator with him on the stair behind him. I turn around and grab his chin, petting his facial hair a bit.)

Me: “You’re such a cutie.”

Him: “Did you just do the same thing to me that you do to your dog?”

(Yes, yes, I did.)

(It’s a very hot day so people are pretty irritable. A toddler, roughly 18 months old, begins to throw a tantrum.)

Three-Year-Old Boy: *indignantly shouting from across the street* “Be quiet, lad!”

(I’m walking to school one morning on my own. I’m about 30 seconds away from the school. In front of me are two girls, a year older than me, walking together. I’m about to walk past them when one of them moves over and blocks where I’m walking. I don’t bother saying anything and keep walking.)

Friend #1: *not the one blocking me* “Hey! You’re blocking that girl’s path!”

Friend #2: *looks at me, and moves out the way* “Well, maybe I wanted to keep her prisoner!”

(Needless to say, I starting walking a bit quicker and didn’t make eye contact!)