In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.
March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!
- She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
- When Press Comes To Shove:
A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
- The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
- Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
- So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.
(I am a woman working at a shop that specializes in mountain climbing equipment. I happen to be very experienced when it comes to trekking, so often colleagues ask me to help people who are planning a mountain trek. My coworker is bringing a male customer over to me for trek-planning help.)
Coworker: “And here’s [my name] now. She’s our expert when it comes mountain treks!”
Male Customer: “Don’t be stupid.”
Male Customer: “Girls don’t climb mountains.”
Me: *laughs* “This girl does! Where are you hoping to climb?”
Male Customer: “Well, I’m climbing the highest peak in the Atlas region.”
Me: “Oh, Jebel Toubkal? Excellent, I did that last year. What time of year are you planning to go?”
Male Customer: “I don’t believe you.”
Male Customer: “Can you just bring back the man I spoke to first? I’m sure he’ll know more about it than you.”
Me: “You think my male colleague, who specializes in camping, low-level trekking and biking, will be more equipped to help you than me, a woman who climbed the exact mountain you’re planning to climb?”
Male Customer: “Yes.”
(I fetch my coworker, who is forced to continue checking with me to see if what he is selling is okay. The worst part: my staff identification picture is of me at the summit of Jebel Toubkal!)
(Note: Bear spray is basically just pepper spray that you use if you are attacked by a bear.)
Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [outdoor supply store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, um…I bought some bear spray from you earlier today and now my skin is burning.”
Me: “Your skin is burning? Did the bear spray come into contact with your skin?”
Customer: “Of course! I sprayed it all over myself!”
Me: “Did you read the instructions?”
Customer: “No, I thought it was like bug spray.”
Me: “Sir, you’re not supposed to spray it on your skin. You’re supposed to spray it in the bear’s eyes. You should probably go take a shower.”
Customer: “So I can’t repel the bears by putting bear spray on my skin?”
Me: “No, sir…are you sure bear country is the right place for you?