Assault By Battery

, , , , , | Right | March 21, 2018

(I am in the middle of helping a customer find a picture light to hang above her painting.)

Me: “Were you looking to power it by batteries, plug it in, or hardwire it?”

Customer: “Definitely not batteries. I can’t have batteries. I’m allergic.”

Me: “You’re… allergic? To batteries?”

Customer: “Yes, one of them split open on me once, and I got a horrible rash from the stuff inside!”

Unfiltered Story #107363

, | Unfiltered | March 15, 2018

I had been sent to the Radiology department within the ER for an urgent chest X-Ray. When the technician asked me if it was possible to be pregnant, I had a mental glitch (I have a language-based learning disability) and my brain took a good 30-seconds to interpret the question. Since I hesitated, the technician turfs me back to Family Medicine for a pregnancy test. I am upset at having to spend longer in the hospital while sick, as well as the effort to walk across the hospital and back. The nurse administering the test is also upset for having her work interrupted for the test.

Me: I tried telling him I would have to have the gestation of an elephant to still be pregnant two years after last having sex.

Nurse *annoyed, slamming objects as the test is performed* Yes, you couldn’t even be on “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” [reality TV show] by this point.

Me: And he’s going to throw me in the back of the line so I’ll wait all over again. I’m on bed rest, I just want to be and should be at home but we have to go through this! So I took 30 seconds to answer the question, I answered it! I don’t know why he just didn’t believe my disability.

Nurse *still annoyed*: Belief in your honesty has nothing to do with it. He wouldn’t be allowed to interpret – the policy is anything other than a quick no has to be investigated.

I pause for a moment as this sinks in. My tone becomes lower and calmer and my speech slows as this new perspective hits me.

Me: I hadn’t thought of that. That makes sense. While he wouldn’t have any reason to believe I’m lying, he also has no ability to know if I am telling the truth since my disability isn’t on the test request. He probably gets women who hesitate because they are in denial. This policy may annoy a lot but probably saves a few zygotes from harm.

The nurse stops what she is doing for a moment in thought.

Nurse *obviously calmer*: Yeah, the policy probably does save those precious few.

We’re silent for the rest of the test but the tension in the air around us has dissipated. The test is negative and she signs a slip for me to take back to the X-Ray technician. I take it and smile at her.

Me: Thank you. And I’m sorry about the interruption. I hope you can get back into your rhythm easily.

Nurse: Thanks, and I hope they manage to rush you through, get you back to bed. Feel better!

It is amazing the difference perspective can make! And, while the technician had another patient when I arrived, he took me next, even defended me when people complained I had jumped the line [“she waited in line before, so she doesn’t have to wait now!”]. I got upset for nothing – except the exhausting trek through the hospital!

A Huge Hole In Their Logic

, , , , | Right | March 6, 2018

(I work at a popular clothing company. I am almost finished with a seven-hour shift, after one of those crazy one-day sales, when a customer comes up to me and demands to return a jacket that was on sale. We have a policy that if it’s a manufacturing defect, we can exchange the item with no problem.)

Customer: “I’d like to get a new jacket because this jacket has a huge hole under the arm!”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. May I please take a look at the jacket?”

(She hands over the jacket. I quickly find the tear, but the tear is obviously manmade with a pair of scissors. Of course, I’m supposed to give her the benefit of the doubt.)

Me: “Let me just check our systems to see if we have the same jacket in the same colour in stock.”

Customer: “Fine. Just be quick, though.”

(Unfortunately, we don’t have it in the same colour, but we do have the same jacket in a different colour.)

Me: “I’m so sorry to inform you that we currently don’t have the same colour of jacket in stock, but we do have it in the grey.”

Customer: “That’s fine, I guess, but can you bring it up? I want my new jacket, and then I’m going to go get my mom to deal with the broken one.”

Me: “I’m sorry? I can only process this jacket as an exchange or return. If you are planning on fixing the jacket, then I can’t authorize any returns or exchanges.”

Customer: “But it’s broken! I want to speak to a manager!”

(I call up my manager, who repeats exactly what I told the lady. She obviously doesn’t like what she’s hearing.)

Manager: “So, what you’re telling me is that you want to exchange the broken jacket for a new one, and still keep the old jacket?”

Customer: “Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?!”

Manager: “Uh… no. You can either exchange or return the jacket, not both.”

(The customer then left in a huff. I turned to talk to my manager who just rolled his eyes. Sadly, that wasn’t even the worst customer we had that day.)

Blame Canada! Part 7

, , , , , , | | Right | March 6, 2018

(I work at a clothing store in Canada that’s fairly popular in the USA, too. We get a fair amount of American customers, as well. Each country has a different version of the website and different sales. One afternoon, two women approach me at the cash with their shopping and I quickly begin ringing them up.)

Customer #1: “Oh! Those jeans aren’t the right price.”

Me: “Oh, that’s no good. Did the sale sign in the section say something different?” *thinking it’s a signing error*

Customer #2: “No, no, it’s the website price that’s different.”

(She then pulls out her phone to show me the website. I can see from the web address that she’s looking at the American website.)

Me: “Miss, that’s the wrong website; also, we don’t price match to our web prices.”

Customer #1: “What do you mean? We’re at the [Store] website!”

Me: “Miss, you’re in Canada, and even if you were using the Canadian website, I still can’t price match the jeans to that price. If you want the jeans at that price, you’ll have to buy them in the States.”

Customer #2: “But we’re American! I want to pay the American prices with American money!”

Me: “Then, please, go back to the States and purchase the jeans there. While you’re in Canada, you have to pay the Canadian prices. I’m sorry.”

(They left in a huff and I thankfully didn’t see them for the rest of my shift.)

Blame Canada!
Blame Canada! (Day)
Blame Canada!

When God Takes Out The Trash, You’ll Be First

, , , | Friendly | December 1, 2017

(I am a professional photographer. I am photographing a wedding at a large local basilica, located in the downtown area of my city, waiting on the front steps for the bride to arrive. Some of the guests are already arriving. As one goes to head in, a person walking on the street walks up to the guests.)

Stranger: “Hey, do you think you could help me?”

Guest: “Sure thing. Is everything all right?”

Stranger: “Yeah, go see if your god has a trash can.”

(The random guy shoves an empty coffee cup into the guest’s hands, then walks away.)

Guest: “Um… okay?”

(I felt so bad for the guest that I took the cup to a trash can inside for him. I am not religious myself, but I was still very peeved at the random guy. Have some respect!)

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