A customer is trying to return a package of meat in Customer Service.

Customer: “I would like to return this meat. It says that it goes bad on the thirteenth, but it’s not looking very good.”

Taking the meat from her to ensure that it is from our store, I notice the date on the label: 13 Oct. 06.

Me: “Um, ma’am, this says that it goes bad today; the first number is the year, not the day. I’m afraid that I can’t return this.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I still don’t want it. This isn’t my fault; I want a refund.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t refund this. We don’t know how it’s been stored and it is best before today.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not my fault. Refund it.”

After five minutes of her arguing that it was not her fault and talking to a manager who told her the same thing, she left.

It’s the second day after my city has mandated masks must be worn inside, and my work has someone on the front doors ensuring that everyone is complying. One lady asks this wonderful gem of a question at the cash.

Customer: “How long do I have to wear a mask indoors?”

Me: “As long as the city says so.”

Customer: “Oh, is that common right now? Have any other cities instituted this? Is there a point if people are doing social distancing? Are there any benefits?”

I did my best to answer her questions without getting frustrated, but ma’am, I am a cashier. There’s a reason the city’s public health tweeted, “Don’t ask your cashiers; it’s not their fault!”

Related:
Sadly Having To Mask Your Contempt

I work in a sports store.

Me: “Hello, that will be $80 for the pants.”

Customer: “How about this… I’ll give you $30 and you don’t put the sale through? Buy yourself something nice.” *Winks*

Me: “Um… No. I’m sorry but I can’t do that. The pants are still $80.”

Customer: “Well, at least give me a discount!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not authorized to give discounts. The pants may go on sale eventually.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you. You’re a stupid little b****, aren’t you?! I’m going to call your manager and have your unhelpful a** fired!”

Me: “Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, f*** you, too!”

I upgrade laptop computers for civil servants. When I took the work, I had this image of public sector employees being rude and entitled and was delighted when the opposite turned out to be true. I had never met so many people delighted to be of help.

It was too good to last. The rot set in slowly, with people doing exceptionally human things. Not reading important information. Panicking because they hadn’t read the information.

My most recent shift begins with two clients who want things done their way. I don’t have that kind of authority. I get handed a work order, and I’m prohibited from helping anyone until I have that paperwork.

Me: “Hello, I’m [My Name]. I’m here to upgrade your laptop.”

[Client #2] starts raising her hands and waving them frantically.

Client #1: “You’ll have to come back when I’m finished with this.”

Me: “Can you tell me when that might be?”

Client #1: “I really couldn’t say.”

[Client #2] continues to wave her hands, still sitting at her cubicle.

Me: *To [Client #2]* “Did you want something, ma’am?”

Client #2: “I need to take my computer home for the evening.”

Me: “That’s fine, go ahead. But if it’s not there, we don’t know when the upgrade will happen.”

Client #2: “Okay, wow, I’m just telling you. I can’t be at my desk tomorrow; I have to take this computer home.”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ll just tell the coordinator that.”

Client #2: “But I need a computer tomorrow. I guess it’ll have to be this one.”

I finally figure out that she thinks I can just give her the laptop I’m carrying. That’s not so. Each laptop is configured with the software the client is authorized to have, and every one so far has been different; there’s no “standard.” I haven’t told [Client #2] yet that I can’t do anything for her at all until I or another of our team is assigned her work order.

Me: “And that’s fine.”

Client #2: “Can’t you upgrade my computer now?”

Me: “Well, that takes about an hour, and—”

Client #2: “That’s fine. I’ll just wait until it’s done, and then I can go home.”

There were all sorts of reasons that was not going to work, and the paperwork was the least of them. I’m not in any sense a team lead, but we try to be as helpful as we can. If I got her details, I could ask my coordinator if he could dispatch a team member specifically with her paperwork. So, I got what my coordinator will need.

With the benefit of hindsight, I should have explained to [Client #2] immediately that every client is assigned a team member specifically, because when I got called away, [Client #2] was kind of huffy about it. When I came back a few minutes later, the team member who was assigned to her had arrived.

I am working at a restaurant on a Thursday night, it’s not too busy, and one of my friends drops a rocks glass. Glass flies everywhere.

Me: “Woah! Way to go there.”

Coworker: *Laughs* “Don’t worry. I’ll clean it up.”

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, are you going to apologize to that little girl?”

My coworker happens to be tiny.

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “That little girl — you shouldn’t be insulting her just for a mistake.”

Me: “Uh… I’m pretty sure I didn’t insult her.”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar? I was sitting right here; I heard you.”

I call over my coworker.

Me: “Did I insult you?”

Coworker: “When?”

Me: “Just now.”

Coworker: “Uh… no? I don’t get it.”

Me: “You see, ma’am, I didn’t insult her. She has no idea what you mean, either.”

Customer: “You moron, you have no idea who I am; you’ll be lucky to still have your job tomorrow.”

Me: *Laughs* “Perfect. I really didn’t want to have to come to deal with idiots tomorrow.”