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Trimmed Off Part Of The Manual

, , , , | Right | May 1, 2020

A customer comes into our store and starts looking at our weed trimmer line.

Coworker: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for the trimmer refills with the button that you hit against the ground to release more line.”

This is the actual trimmer head, which is refilled with regular trimmer line when it runs out.

Coworker: “Oh, then you just need some trimmer line to rewind the trimmer head.”

Customer: “No, this is the refill for the trimmer. It’s already wound and you just insert it into the trimmer head. Then you hit the bottom of the refill on the ground to feed the line.”

Coworker: “The part that you hit on the ground is part of the trimmer head. To refill it, you need to cut a section of the trimmer line and rewind it around the trimmer head.”

Customer: “No, no. This refill feeds itself when you hit it against the ground.”

Coworker: “That is part of the trimmer head mechanism. I can show you how to rewind it so that it feeds correctly when you tap it on the ground.”

The customer pauses for a bit, thinking.

Customer: “Okay, well, I guess I’ll just keep looking for the refill if you guys don’t have it. Thanks anyway.”

Coworker: “Okay… Bye.”

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A Big Complainer All Parceled Up For You

, , , , | Right | April 17, 2020

I work in a store that has a post office in it. Today a woman comes in and is flabbergasted that she is asked for ID on a parcel. The clerk calls me to the scene.

Customer: “You’re the manager?! I have shoes older than you!”

Me: “What seems to be the trouble?”

Customer: “These two won’t give me my mail because I don’t have a driver’s license or any other identification with me!”

They need to see identification to verify that the parcel goes to the right person.

Customer: “I don’t have a license because I don’t drive! This is discriminatory!”

I suggest an alternate form of ID, which she doesn’t have on her and I have forgotten we can’t accept anyway.

Customer: “Is [Pharmacist] working? He knows me! He’ll tell you who I am!”

I give in to this demand since she is going to continue making a scene. The pharmacist confirms her identity. I instruct the clerks to let her take the parcel.

Me: “I’m sorry about all this, but it’s [Mail Company] policy to make sure that we ask everyone for ID before delivering mail.”

Customer: “Well, I’m going to call them and complain about it!”

Some people just need something to gripe about.

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The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Is On Fire

, , , , , , | Right | March 12, 2020

(My dad owns a construction company. This week we have had a heatwave with temperatures feeling like 40 degrees with humidity. Yesterday, we also had severe thunderstorms with a chance of a tornado. My dad gets this call:)

Customer: *freaking out* “Where are the roofers?! They were supposed to be here today!”

This story is part of our Heatwave roundup!

Read the next Heatwave Roundup story!

Read the Heatwave Roundup!

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Lighting Of The Lost Ark

, , , , | Right | January 31, 2020

(Despite having a large lighting showroom, because of the high volume of products we carry, we often encourage customers to browse our many catalogues.)

Me: “Well, it seems like we don’t have what you need here in stock. I know that several manufacturers we carry do make a version of that item, though. Would you like to take a look through some of their catalogues and see if we can order something for you? It would take a couple of weeks, but then you’d get the exact look you want.”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(The customer proceeds to sit for over an hour, flipping through our binders. I run back and forth the entire time, getting new binders, putting away old ones, and pricing out dozens of fixtures she finds interesting. Finally…)

Customer: “I really like this one. I think it’s perfect. Can I see it in person now?”

Me: “Unfortunately, that particular item will have to be ordered from the manufacturer. The only way we can take a look at it now is in the catalogue.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! If you have it in your book, you should have it here!”

Me: “Well, by looking through the books, you’ve seen that there are tens of thousands of lights available. We’d have to have a warehouse as big as Raiders of the Lost Ark to hold them all!”

Customer: “This is stupid. I’ll never shop here again! What a waste of time!” *storms out of the store*

Me: “I agree.”

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What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 7

, , , , , | Right | December 31, 2019

(I work at the customer service desk of a department store. Customers normally come to me if there’s damage to an item and they want a discount. Two gentlemen come up to my desk with a metal framed futon, which has been partially opened, but still has the plastic straps around it.)

Customer: “This is open, and I’m not sure if there’s anything wrong with it or missing from it, so I was wondering if I could get 10% off?”

(I proceed to check if the amount is low enough for me to authorize myself. He and his friend are chitchatting, and I catch bits and pieces, but I hear that they are going to ask for more off.)

Me: “All right, I can give you the discount.”

Customer: “Which one?”

Me: “10%.”

Customer: “Can I get the taxes off?”

(I do the math, and it’s more than I’m willing to authorize myself, so I go find a manager. I explain the situation, and she says absolutely not. She says she wouldn’t even give the 10% as there’s nothing wrong with the futon, but I’m free to if I want. I go back to the customer.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, she’s only giving the 10%.”

Customer: “I actually work with the Royal Canadian Legion; I’m a chaplain there. Do you want to ask again?” *slides a business card towards me*

Me: “She’s not going to change her answer; it was a hard no.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks for trying!”

(He was all smiles from then on, thanking me profusely for my help several times. Little did he know that I am in a type of reserves in the Canadian Forces, so was not one for this to be tried on, and using Jesus to try to get a discount on a futon is just tacky.)

What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 6
What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 5
What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 4

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