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Sooooo Sorry I Couldn’t Help You Steal And Get Myself Fired

, , , , , | Right | July 30, 2020

I work in a sports store.

Me: “Hello, that will be $80 for the pants.”

Customer: “How about this… I’ll give you $30 and you don’t put the sale through? Buy yourself something nice.” *Winks*

Me: “Um… No. I’m sorry but I can’t do that. The pants are still $80.”

Customer: “Well, at least give me a discount!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not authorized to give discounts. The pants may go on sale eventually.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you. You’re a stupid little b****, aren’t you?! I’m going to call your manager and have your unhelpful a** fired!”

Me: “Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, f*** you, too!”

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I’m Just Telling You, You Gotta Have The Paperwork

, , , , , | Working | July 15, 2020

I upgrade laptop computers for civil servants. When I took the work, I had this image of public sector employees being rude and entitled and was delighted when the opposite turned out to be true. I had never met so many people delighted to be of help.

It was too good to last. The rot set in slowly, with people doing exceptionally human things. Not reading important information. Panicking because they hadn’t read the information.

My most recent shift begins with two clients who want things done their way. I don’t have that kind of authority. I get handed a work order, and I’m prohibited from helping anyone until I have that paperwork.

Me: “Hello, I’m [My Name]. I’m here to upgrade your laptop.”

[Client #2] starts raising her hands and waving them frantically.

Client #1: “You’ll have to come back when I’m finished with this.”

Me: “Can you tell me when that might be?”

Client #1: “I really couldn’t say.”

[Client #2] continues to wave her hands, still sitting at her cubicle.

Me: *To [Client #2]* “Did you want something, ma’am?”

Client #2: “I need to take my computer home for the evening.”

Me: “That’s fine, go ahead. But if it’s not there, we don’t know when the upgrade will happen.”

Client #2: “Okay, wow, I’m just telling you. I can’t be at my desk tomorrow; I have to take this computer home.”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ll just tell the coordinator that.”

Client #2: “But I need a computer tomorrow. I guess it’ll have to be this one.”

I finally figure out that she thinks I can just give her the laptop I’m carrying. That’s not so. Each laptop is configured with the software the client is authorized to have, and every one so far has been different; there’s no “standard.” I haven’t told [Client #2] yet that I can’t do anything for her at all until I or another of our team is assigned her work order.

Me: “And that’s fine.”

Client #2: “Can’t you upgrade my computer now?”

Me: “Well, that takes about an hour, and—”

Client #2: “That’s fine. I’ll just wait until it’s done, and then I can go home.”

There were all sorts of reasons that was not going to work, and the paperwork was the least of them. I’m not in any sense a team lead, but we try to be as helpful as we can. If I got her details, I could ask my coordinator if he could dispatch a team member specifically with her paperwork. So, I got what my coordinator will need.

With the benefit of hindsight, I should have explained to [Client #2] immediately that every client is assigned a team member specifically, because when I got called away, [Client #2] was kind of huffy about it. When I came back a few minutes later, the team member who was assigned to her had arrived.

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This Insult Is As Clear As Shattered Glass

, , , , | Right | June 8, 2020

I am working at a restaurant on a Thursday night, it’s not too busy, and one of my friends drops a rocks glass. Glass flies everywhere.

Me: “Woah! Way to go there.”

Coworker: *Laughs* “Don’t worry. I’ll clean it up.”

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, are you going to apologize to that little girl?”

My coworker happens to be tiny.

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “That little girl — you shouldn’t be insulting her just for a mistake.”

Me: “Uh… I’m pretty sure I didn’t insult her.”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar? I was sitting right here; I heard you.”

I call over my coworker.

Me: “Did I insult you?”

Coworker: “When?”

Me: “Just now.”

Coworker: “Uh… no? I don’t get it.”

Me: “You see, ma’am, I didn’t insult her. She has no idea what you mean, either.”

Customer: “You moron, you have no idea who I am; you’ll be lucky to still have your job tomorrow.”

Me: *Laughs* “Perfect. I really didn’t want to have to come to deal with idiots tomorrow.”

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All Aboard The RageQuit Bus To ScrewThisVille

, , , , , , | Working | May 19, 2020

I work as a prep cook and dishwasher at a somewhat popular Ottawa-based restaurant and pub chain. We are very understaffed and are very often left alone with no manager in the kitchen. Because of this, we regularly don’t have enough time or manpower to finish all the prep for the day by the time our shift is over, which means that people almost always have to stay hours past their end time. 

On a side note, we order these large boxes of bacon stripes, and we have to lay it out on large sheets of parchment paper and roll it up so we can easily place it on baking trays when needed. It’s a huge pain in the a** to do because one box takes at least half an hour, and we can get orders of up to five boxes twice a week. If I’m not there, the bacon doesn’t get rolled because no one else wants to do it.

This encounter happens with the head chef before Father’s Day:

Head Chef: “[My Name], before you leave tonight, you need to roll all the bacon in the fridge. No exceptions. If it’s not done, I’m going to be livid.”

Me: “But there are at least eight boxes in there, and my shift is over in an hour and a half. I’ve already been here for ten hours. Plus, the last bus is leaving in two hours, so I definitely wouldn’t make it. Do we really need all the bacon? It takes two days to go through a box.”

Head Chef: “Well, you’ve had all day to roll the bacon; it’s not my fault you didn’t get to it before. You’re not leaving until it’s all done.”

I’ve spent the entire day doing other prep items that he assigned to me, and he did maybe two items and took MANY smoke breaks throughout the day. He also has a car, so he is much more capable of staying late than I am.

Me: “Okay, so what happens when it’s three in the morning and I’m still here with no bus to take home?”

Head Chef: “Take a taxi. Maybe we can see about paying a percentage of the fare or take it out of your tips.”

Me: “I can’t afford to do that. I make barely $1,400 a month, my rent is $1,000, and I have to pay $115 for a monthly bus pass. I don’t have enough money to spare to spend even a little on a taxi. Is it really fair to make me stay so long after my shift?”

Head Chef: “Your end time isn’t really your end time; if there is stuff to do, you have to stay and finish it or you’ll get written up.”

He proceeded to leave two hours before his “end time” while there were still several items left to be prepped. This is a very common occurrence. 

I was kept back another four hours to finish everything. After my fourteen-hour shift, I had to walk almost an hour and a half to the next bus stop with a route that ran that late. By the time I got home, I only had five hours before I had to go in for my next shift.

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This Customer Is A Barrage Of Hot Air

, , , , | Right | May 1, 2020

I work in the electronics department of the store, but due to its proximity to other departments, such as hardware, and salespersons not always being scheduled for each department, electronics will often cover other departments. Our department gets paged to pick up a call for hardware.

Me: “Hello, Electronics.”

Customer: “I’m looking for the air conditioner in the flier. The 5000.”

This air conditioner has been sold out for several weeks so far as I know.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I think we’re sold out of that air conditioner, but I’ll go double-check. I just need to put you on hold.”

Customer: “Okay.”

I go to hardware and check. We are, indeed, sold out, so I write down the information and pricing of the other similar air conditioners.

Me: “I’m sorry, we are sold out of the air conditioner, but—”

Customer: *Yelling* “I know it’s not your fault, but you’re the fourth [Store] I’ve called! Why are you all sold out? If it’s in your flier you should have it in stock! This is unacceptable!”

The customer offers more angry ranting. As soon as I get a moment to speak:

Me: “You’re right, sir. It isn’t my fault.”

And then I hung up on him. The air conditioner had been on sale for over a month.

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