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“No, Thank You” Still Means Something, You Know

, , , , , | Working | April 2, 2022

My girlfriend and I are planning a trip, so one day while at the mall, we decide to look at new luggage. We find a typical chain store selling such and walk in. We’re immediately jumped on by an over-eager saleswoman. We let her know that we’re just browsing, thanks. She backs off for a couple of minutes but soon comes back.

Every time one of us stops to look at a particular piece, she swoops in and starts listing off features or talking about all the sales that are on.

It gets so bad that it triggers my girlfriend’s anxiety and we have to leave. I can applaud the work ethic, the commitment to helping customers, and the knowledge, but back off and know when you’re not helping. It’s an easy way to lose sales, and I wish more retailers understood that.

CopyWrong, Part 2

, , , , , , , | Right | March 26, 2022

Client: “Don’t bother with ShutterStock; grab pics off of Google Images.”

Me: “We don’t have the rights to them.”

Client: “We don’t need them. Everything on the Internet is in the public domain.”

This was a Communications Director within the Canadian Federal Government.


She’s Knit Letting It Go

, , , , | Right | January 3, 2022

My coworker and I have finished most of our closing duties. We are just waiting for the last customer to finish up so we can go home for the night. We have checked in with her a few times and helped pick out some supplies for learning to knit. She finally comes up to the counter and pays before dropping this gem.

Customer: “So, you guys can teach me how to knit, right?”

My coworker grabs the class sign-up book and starts into our spiel on dates and teachers, but the lady interrupts.

Customer: “No, like, now. It isn’t busy and it’ll just take a minute.”

Me: “Umm, I’m sorry, but we have to close up and go home now.”

She looks disappointed, but we recommend some books and YouTube tutorials and suggest she come back for a class if she needs to. We finally get her out the door and turn off the lights, but she stands outside for a while before knocking on the door. When my soft-hearted but assertive coworker checks on her, she says:

Customer: “Are you sure neither of you could teach me right now? You are done with work!”

I didn’t hear what my coworker said to her, but the customer finally left, and we made our escape!

Whatever Your Argument Is, It’s Getting Old

, , , , , , | Friendly | August 4, 2021

My city’s public transit system has had a rule since mid-2020 that people have to wear masks on the buses and trains. There are signs on each bus and train and at all train stations and the major bus stations, and there are automated announcements played while riding the bus and train explaining this. However, some people argue with the drivers about it. In May 2021, I overheard the most bizarre “reasoning” yet.

Woman: “I don’t need a mask; I’m already blind!”

I was midway down the bus while she was yelling at the driver, so I might have misheard her. She might have actually said, “I’m already black,” though if she was then her skin was light enough that it was not obvious, but neither of those things gives immunity to the contagious illness that caused the health crisis, as far as I’m aware.

You Can’t Mask The Driver’s True Feelings

, , , , , | Right | July 20, 2021

Bus Driver: “You’ll need to pull your mask up.”

A passenger who just boarded has his mask around his chin.

Passenger: “No.”

He goes to pay his bus fare. The driver blocks the coin slot.

Bus Driver: “Then you can’t ride the bus.” 

This should not be news for anyone, as for several months now the bus company has had bulletins on the windows of every bus and train, and at each station, that this is now policy for the whole city-wide transit system.

Passenger: “What? That’s stupid. What does the mask even protect you from?”

Bus Driver: “It protects you from getting kicked off the bus. Mask up or get off.” 

The passenger swore at the bus driver and left.