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I Can’t Hear Myself Think, Part 2

, , , , | Right | September 19, 2010

(Our store plays soft, acoustic music over the speakers. An old man approaches me angrily.)

Customer: “Your music is too loud!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Your music is too loud. I can’t read!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Most people like it.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be playing music in a bookstore! It should be like a library!”

(He storms off, yelling over his shoulder.)

Customer: “I don’t come in here to buy things; I come in here to read! It should be like a library!”

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Some Assembly And Intelligence Required

, , , , | Right | August 26, 2010

Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [Home Improvement Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I just had my shed delivered this morning and you people sent me the wrong size.”

Me: “Okay, just let me pull up your order here and see what may have gone wrong.”

Customer: “I don’t know how you people could have messed this up, I clearly ordered a 6×6 shed and I just measured the one you delivered and its clearly only 4×6.”

Me: “Okay, sir. Well, the type of shed we delivered only comes in a 6×6 model. Did you happen to have any parts left over when you finished building it?”

Customer: “Oh, well, I haven’t actually built it yet. But I’ve measured the crate it comes in and it only measures 4×6.”

Me: “Sir, what does the label on the crate say?”

Customer: “It says 6×6. But I measured it and it’s only 4×6!”


This story is part of the Home Improvement roundup!

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A New Dimension of Stupidity

, , , , , | Right | May 13, 2010

(I pass the customer 3D glasses for his movie.)

Customer: “So these are 3D glasses?”

Me: “Yes, sir!”

Customer: *getting excited* “So, if I put them on and look at you, you’ll be in 3D?”

Me: “Sir, by definition, I’m already 3D.”

Customer: “No. I mean, if I put on 3D glasses and look at you, or anything else, will you become 3D?”

Customer’s Girlfriend: “You’re dumb. Just stop talking.”


This story is part of our 3D Movies roundup!

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Photo Incognito

, , , , , , | Right | March 11, 2010

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “My daughter’s passport photo was just rejected.”

Me: “Did she take it here?”

Customer: “No, it was taken at [other location].”

Me: “What can we do for you then?”

Customer: “It needs to be retaken!”

Me: “Well, if you would like to have your daughter come in we will be happy to take it for her.”

Customer: “She has to be here?”


This story is part of the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Cringeworthy Stories About Embarrassing Parents

 

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Each Birthday Brings Darker Days

, , , , , , | Right | February 25, 2010

Customer: “Do you guys still do that free tan on your birthday thing?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Customer: “Well, no one called me!”

Me: “Oh, we don’t actually call the clients.”

Customer: “How am I supposed to know when to come then?”

Me: “You just come in on your birthday.”

Customer: “Well, when is that?”

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