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Yukon Call Them

, , , | Right | June 22, 2011

Caller: “Hello, this is [name] from [company]. I’m calling to get the satellite hooked up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

Caller: “This is [name] from [company] in Guyana. You know, Guyana, South America. We ordered satellite service last week.”

(Our company has nothing to do with satellites. We do not have service anywhere near Guyana. I explain as such to the caller.)

Caller: “Oh. Well, where are you located? Brazil?”

Me: “No, sir. We’re up in Canada.”

Caller: “Oh dear, I DO have the wrong number, don’t I?”

Gender Fender Bender

, , , , | Right | March 29, 2011

Customer: “I need to return this card.”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “I bought it for my wife’s birthday. It’s a very nice card, but I missed the last line.”

(I look at the card, and it reads ‘to the man I love’. The refund was given.)

Explanations As Clear As Water

, , , , , , | Right | December 30, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pool Store]. How may I help?”

Caller: “How much would a new pump be for my pool?”

Me: “Have you got an in-ground or an above-ground?”

Caller: *long pause* “I don’t know.”

Me: “You don’t know?”

Caller: “No! How could I?”

Me: “All right. Go into your back yard, and run at the pool. If you fall in, it’s probably an in-ground. If you bounce off, it’s an above-ground.”


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Honesty Among Thieves

, , , , | Right | December 27, 2010

(A couple walks in and sets off the alarm. It is store policy to ask if they have just bought anything and suggest they go back to have it desensitized.)

Me: “Hi. Did you happen to just buy something that might have set off the alarm?”

Customer: “No, we just stole a boatload of stuff next door and are coming in here now.”


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Don’t Take Customers At Face Value

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2010

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “You look like a serial killer!”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Yeah, you look exactly like you’ve killed someone, then locked them in your basement. But maybe that’s just the kind of person you look like. I don’t know; I’m not here to judge.”