We’re visiting a theme park that features two new rides, one of which consistently has a queue time of at least three hours all day. Since we’re in Orlando for three weeks, we figure we’ll just try again another day.

Fast forward two weeks and our efforts so far have been in vain. The queue just refuses to ever dip down below the three-hour mark no matter what we do. We’ve pretty much resigned ourselves to either not going on it at all or just sucking it up and losing the three hours.

On our penultimate visit to the park, we are at the complete opposite end of the park when a bout of tremendously heavy rain starts and, not being the sort of people to get upset about being wet, we decide we may as well quick-march over and see if people got rained out of the queue.

Nearing our destination, we see a family of five huddled under a tree frantically extracting ponchos from a backpack. This family looks at the pair of us marching through this downpour like we’ve grown extra heads. We just shrug and say, “British.”

The family laughs and nods in understanding and we carry on our way. We find a forty-minute queue which we happily jump in. We’re completely dried out by the time we’re halfway through it. Success!

My senior class trip is to a well-known amusement park that features a log-flume-style ride. I’m in the line when I overhear a woman in a group ahead of me speaking with a staff member. We’re almost at the front of the line, way too late to be asking these questions.

Woman: “Will we get wet on the ride?”

Staff Member: “Yes, absolutely!”

The woman pauses for a moment, clearly in thought.

Woman: “How wet?”

The staff member obviously has one of those moments where the internal filter fails.

Staff Member: “Have you ever taken a bath?”

I’m working in a restaurant where people order at the counter, take a buzzer, and come collect their food when it’s ready. We always ask them if they would like their drinks now or with their food. One customer seems to have an issue with this and marches back up to the counter.

Customer: “Where are my drinks?!”

Me: “You told me you wanted them later, but I can get them now if you want. Do you want them now?”

Customer: “Well, what if somebody wants their drinks now?! Are you going to make them wait?!”

Me: “Like I said, I can get you your drinks right now. Do you want them?”

Customer: “No!” *Stalks off*

One of his family members came and picked up the food and drinks a few minutes later. Some people just want to be angry.

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Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 3
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 2
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn

Husband: “What is your email address?”

Me: “First initial, last name, and the month and day of my birthday.”

Husband: “How do you spell that?”

A customer is doing a return.

Customer: “My wife used a 30%-off coupon when she purchased this. Is it possible to get that back when I do the return?”

Me: “No, sorry, sir, we can’t return coupons.”

Customer: “What if I do this return without a receipt? Could she then use the coupon for something else?”

Me: “No, sir, the coupon has already been used.”

Customer: “Well, if I return it without a receipt, can I get the full amount back?”

Me: “Not only am I currently holding your receipt, sir, but we cannot give you back more than you spent. Doing a return without a receipt doesn’t give you the full amount back; it gives you the lowest price the item has been in the last sixty days.”

Customer: “But like, come on. It couldn’t have been less than 30% off…”

Me: “Well, sir, that is certainly a risk you can take, but I will tell you that your odds of finding the only items in the store that haven’t been on sale recently are extremely low. I’ve seen items go as low as $1 each. Trust me, you won’t be getting paid more than your purchase amount.” 

He finally took the original amount he’d paid as a refund and left with his three children. He had announced that they were homeschooled prior to this interaction. I feel less than encouraged about their upbringing.

Related:
The Returner Versus The Couponator