Don’t Want To Hangul Out With Dad Anymore

, , , , , , | Right | February 1, 2020

(I am twelve years old. We are at a popular theme park where there are “pavilions” from about a dozen countries with employees from the various places. We are in the China section and I have asked to buy a parasol. My dad does not like these theme parks and is very hot and cranky.)

Me: “May I buy a parasol, please?”

Employee: “Of course! Would you like your name written on it in Chinese?”

Dad: “Hey, can you write her name in Korean, instead?”

(My mom and I stare open-mouthed at my father.)

Employee: “Sorry, sir, but I do not know how to write in Korean.”

Dad: “God, I can’t understand why you won’t just put her f****** name in Korean!” *stomps away, my mom chasing after him*

Me: *to employee* “I am so sorry for him. My name’s [My Name].”

Employee: “It’s okay. Here you go — your name in Chinese!”

(To this day, we haven’t had the guts to ask my dad why he thought the Chinese employee would write my name in Korean!)

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Unfiltered Story #183948

, , , | Unfiltered | January 23, 2020

At the time of this story I had worked for this company for about 7 years. In that time many things had changed, including the style of sticker we used on our paint cans to show what type of tint had been used in it and how much. When I first started in 2006 the stickers were square, but they had changed (I think in 2009) to round ones, and this situation takes place in 2013. A woman walked in to the returns counter with two 5 gallon buckets of deck and fence stain (totaling about $200) that had clearly been tinted (which we don’t take back anyway unless we made a mistake with the color), and it had square labels.

Me: “Welcome to [Store Name], how may I help you?”

Customer: “I bought this stain, but I got too much and I need to return it.”

Me: “When did you purchase it?”

Customer: “Oh, a couple of months ago. I know I won’t be able to get cash, but could I get store credit?”

(Big red scam flag.)

Me: “Well ma’am, since we haven’t used square stickers since about 2009, it’s extremely improbable that you bought it a couple of months ago. Also, I’m terribly sorry but we don’t take back tinted products anyway unless there’s something wrong with the color.”

Customer: “The color was wrong, I just didn’t have time to come back in until today.”

(HUGE red scam flag.)

Me: (After checking the stickers to make sure they didn’t happen to be leftover from when we *did* use square ones and seeing the date they were tinted) “Ma’am the date on this sticker is from 2008, that was 5 years ago. Even if we did make a mistake back then, it’s not possible for us to refund you or replace it now.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you just take it from me and sell it to someone, or give it away, or dispose of it? I just need to get rid of it.”

(There isn’t a flag big enough or red enough to convey that she’s attempting to pull *some* sort of scam, so I thought “Yeah right, and open ourselves up to you being able to accuse us of ‘stealing’ your stain? No thank you.” But what I actually said was:)

Me: “Unfortunately ma’am we can’t sell it or give it away to anyone because we have no idea what the chemical composition would be like by now. We also can’t dispose of it for you because stain is classified as a hazardous material, and we can’t accept anything hazmat that isn’t already considered part of our inventory.”

(This wasn’t *exactly* the truth, since we constantly accepted things like burnt out fluorescent bulbs or empty spray paint cans from customers as we’d much rather pay to dispose of it for them than get fined if the EPA found those things in our dumpster, but at least she left without any fuss! We made sure she had help loading her car back up too, because we also didn’t want her abandoning the stain in the parking lot and using that as a method to accuse us of ‘stealing’ it from her.)

The Greetings Are Bland But The Cookies Are Delicious!

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 25, 2019

(One year, I’m giving cookies to my coaches around Christmas time and get this gem from one of my — usually sarcastic — favorites:)

Me: “Here you go! Merry Christmas or happy holidays or whatev–”

Coach: “Yes, yes, and a bland holiday greeting to you, too.”

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The Greetings Are Bland, The Cookies Are Not

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 23, 2019

(I am on a competitive rock climbing team for several years in high school and, being at least a few years older than most of the kids, become friends with the coaches. One December, I make cookies for my teachers and decide to bring some to my coaches, too.)

Me: *to [Coach #1], who I know is Christian* “Merry Christmas!”

Coach #1: “Thanks, [My Name]!”

Me: *to [Coach #2], who is very sarcastic* “Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or whatev—”

Coach #2: “Yes, yes, and a bland holiday greeting to you, too.”

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The Cheese Has Melted And So Have Our Hearts

, , , , , , | Right | December 11, 2019

(My husband and I are at a restaurant we go to every month or so. We almost always get the same thing, so we order without looking at the menu, including an appetizer that’s a sort of breadstick bite, which is supposed to come with two types of sauce to dip.)

Server: “Oh, I’m sorry, they just discontinued those.”

Me: “Oh, no! Well, bad luck for us. We can just get regular breadsticks then.”

Server: “Well, if you like, I can see if they’ll still make them for you? They might still have everything we need.”

Husband: “We really don’t want to be a pain.”

Server: “I promise you aren’t! Just let me check with the kitchen first.”

(She returns shortly after and says the kitchen can make the appetizer easily, but it will only have the marinara sauce to dip, not the cheese sauce, which we are fine with since we only ever eat the marinara anyway. We thank her profusely, and a little while later we get our appetizer. All is well, and then a woman comes running out of the kitchen with a small plate.)

Employee: “Here you go! We tried to make you the cheese sauce anyway with what we had.”

Husband: “Oh, you didn’t have to do that!”

Employee: “No, no, we wanted to! It, um, might not be very good though, but we thought we’d try.”

(She dropped the plate and hurried off. When we looked we had to laugh. The sauce is supposed to be a kind of garlicky beer cheese sauce for dipping. What they brought us was what looked like quite literally just a block of melted cheddar cheese with a handful of garlic on top, quickly congealing back into a grease-covered lump. To be polite, we did TRY to eat it since they went through the trouble for us, but it really was terrible. The whole thing was hysterical, though, and we were touched that they went through the effort to first accommodate us with the appetizer, and then TRIED to make the sauce even if the result was mostly inedible. We tipped generously and sent an email in to the company website telling them how great their staff at this location was. They may not be able to improvise a cheese sauce on the spot, but at least they cared enough to try!)

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